Abhanga 2690
To udvēga (anxiety) — many roads fākatī (spread out, fan out).
The verse
उद्वेगासी बहु फाकती मारग । नव्हे ऐसें अंग माझें होतें ॥१॥
आतां कोण यासी करणें विचार । तो देखा साचार पांडुरंगा ॥ध्रु ॥
मज तो अत्यंत दर्शनाची आस । जाला तरि हो नाश जीवित्वाचा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे आहे वचनाची उरी । करितों तोंवरि विज्ञापना ॥३॥
Literal translation
To udvēga (anxiety) — many roads fākatī (spread out, fan out). My body was not made for such (i.e., for managing all of these). Now who would vichāra (think-through) this — Pāṇḍurangā, dēkhā sāchāra (look truly). My darśanāñcī āsa (desire-for-darśana) is intense — even if it becomes nāsa jīvitvāñcā (destruction of living-state), let it. Tukā says: there is still the vachanāñcī urī (rest of the utterance); until then I make vijñāpana (formal petition).
What it means
A short anxiety-and-darśana verse. Udvēgāsī bahu fākatī mārga — to anxiety, many roads spread out. Udvēga (anxiety, restless-distress) multiplies-paths-of-distraction; once anxiety arrives, suddenly there are many directions to be pulled in. Navhē aisē anga mājhē hōtē — my body was not made for such — the bhakta confesses his constitutional-limitation.
The dhrūpada: ātām kōṇa yāsī karaṇē vichāra — tō dēkhā sāchāra Pāṇḍurangā — now who would think through this — Pāṇḍurangā, look truly. Sāchāra (truly, in-truth) — the bhakta asks the Lord to see his condition truly, not as performance.
The second verse names the all-stakes ask: atyanta darśanāñcī āsa — jālā tarī hō nāsa jīvitvāñcā — the intense desire for darśana — even if it comes to destruction of life, let it. Full-stakes darśana-asking: give me the seeing, even if it costs me my life.
The close: vachanāñcī urī — karitōm tōmvari vijñāpana — there is still the urī (rest, residual) of utterance; until then I am making vijñāpana (formal-petition). As long as the bhakta can still speak, the vijñāpana (the formal-court-petition) will continue.
For someone today
When udvēga (anxiety) is spreading many-paths-of-distraction and your body was not made for managing all of them, this verse offers two specific moves: (1) ask the Lord to look truly at the actual condition; (2) name the full-stakes asking — intense desire for darśana, even if it destroys my life. The as-long-as-the-utterance-remains-I-petition close is also useful: the vijñāpana persists until the breath runs out. The verse is permission to ask for what one cannot get otherwise without softening the cost.
Where this applies
- The diagnostic recognition that anxiety spreads many paths
- Full-stakes darśana-asking — even if it destroys my life
- The as-long-as-I-can-speak-I-petition persistence
- Asking the protector to look truly (sāchāra) rather than to be entertained