Abhanga 12
When a single thing has come to occupy your whole heart, the polarities that used to organize you (origin/destination, before/after, this-self/that-self) collapse into one place — and that collapse is the actual rest.
The verse
न देखें न बोलें नाइकें आणीक । बैसला हा एक हरि चित्तीं ॥१॥ सासुरें माहेर मज नाहीं कोणी । एक केलें दोन्ही मिळोनियां ॥२॥ आळ आला होता आम्ही भांडखोरी । तुका म्हणे खरी केली मात ॥३॥
(Source: transliteral.org Sant Tukaram Gatha, abhang 12. Sixth in the 0007-0015 gopī-narrative arc.)
Literal translation
English: I see nothing else, speak nothing else, hear nothing else; this one alone — Hari — has sat down in my heart. Neither in-laws' house nor parents' house holds any one of mine now; I have joined the two into one. The rumor had been going around that I was quarrelsome. Tuka says: we have made that rumor true.
मराठी (आधुनिक): दुसरं काही पाहत नाही, बोलत नाही, ऐकत नाही; हा एकच — हरि — माझ्या चित्तात बसला आहे. आता ना सासुरला कोणी माझं, ना माहेरला; मी दोन्ही एकत्र करून एक करून टाकलंय. आपण भांडखोर आहोत अशी रट आधी होती — तुकाराम म्हणतात, ती मात आम्ही खरी करून दाखवली.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| न देखें न बोलें नाइकें आणीक | "I see nothing else, speak nothing else, hear nothing else" |
| बैसला हा एक हरि चित्तीं | "this one — Hari — has sat down in my heart" |
| सासुरें | the husband's family / in-laws' house |
| माहेर | the parents' house / natal home (the contrasting pole, in Marathi female identity, to सासुरें) |
| मज नाहीं कोणी | "I have no one (of these) anymore" |
| एक केलें दोन्ही मिळोनियां | "I have made the two into one by joining them" |
| आळ आला होता | "a rumor / accusation had come" (आळ = a charge, an accusation, a piece of gossip) |
| आम्ही भांडखोरी | "that we are quarrelsome / troublemakers" (भांडखोर = quarrelsome) |
| खरी केली मात | "we made the matter true" (मात = matter, account, story) |
What it means
The opening verse is the one-pointed-ness claim — see nothing, speak nothing, hear nothing else; only Hari is seated. This is bhakti's classical एकनिष्ठा (one-pointed devotion) put in radically negative form: the senses are not redirected to Hari, they are closed to everything else, and Hari is found seated in the heart underneath. [T]
Verse 2 does specifically female theological work. In a patriarchal Marathi-Hindu social structure, a married woman is classically located between two poles: सासुरें (the husband's house, where she now lives) and माहेर (the parents' house, where she came from). Female identity oscillates between these two — visits to माहेर, return to सासुरें, daughters belonging to one and brides leaving for the other. The speaker says: I have no one in either. The binary that organized female life has collapsed. "एक केलें दोन्ही मिळोनियां" — I made the two into one — is the claim that, with Hari seated in the heart, both poles have been folded into a single non-locational identity. [T] [Tradition]
Verse 3's twist is the most interesting: the rumor that I was a troublemaker — Tuka says, we made it true. This is a startling self-aware claim. The community's accusation (भांडखोर — quarreler, troublemaker) was probably leveled at the bhakta as a way of dismissing her devotion. Tukaram's response is not denial; it is acknowledgment with re-framing: yes, we were called troublemakers, and now — by leaving the sanctioned arrangement — we have proved them right. The transvaluation of the slur (Pattern P3) is in operation again. [T]
For someone today
English: This abhang names a strange experience that happens to people who have been holding two identities for a long time and who eventually let one or both dissolve. The example is the female पोलarity of सासुरें/माहेर, but the structural shape applies broadly: you have been the dutiful child and the rebel; the immigrant and the assimilated person; the religious and the secular self; the parent and the professional. For most of your life, you have organized yourself by oscillating between the two poles. Then one day — usually because something has come to occupy the center of your heart — the oscillation stops. एक केलें दोन्ही मिळोनियां — I joined the two into one. The two identities you used to switch between are now one identity, located not in either pole but in what is at the center.
The closing verse is the part that helps. When this collapse happens, your community will often have words for what has gone wrong: troublemaker, lost-it, gotten weird, become difficult. Tukaram's move is precise. He does not deny the label — he agrees with it and adds the reason. Yes, we were called quarrelers. Yes, we have proven that label true. We did so by letting Hari sit in our heart and watching the two-pole identity dissolve. The label was always going to be applied to anyone who let the polarity dissolve; you might as well agree with it and move on. The agreement ends the argument; the argument is what was wasting your energy.
मराठी: ही ओवी अशा एका विचित्र अनुभवाचं नाव सांगते — जो लोकांना होतो ज्यांनी खूप वेळ दोन ओळखी एकत्र वाहिल्या आहेत आणि त्यातली एक किंवा दोन्ही विरघळताहेत. उदाहरण आहे सासुरें/माहेर — स्त्रीचा द्वि-ध्रुवीय identity — पण रचनात्मकदृष्ट्या सर्वांना लागू: आज्ञाधारक मूल आणि बंडखोर; स्थलांतरित आणि मिसळलेला; धार्मिक आणि धर्मनिरपेक्ष; पालक आणि व्यावसायिक. आयुष्यभर तुम्ही दोन ध्रुवांमध्ये दोलायमान होऊन स्वतःला रचलं आहे. एक दिवस — सामान्यतः जेव्हा हृदयाच्या केंद्रात काहीतरी येऊन बसतं — दोलायमान थांबतं. एक केलें दोन्ही मिळोनियां — दोन्ही जोडून एक केलं. आधी ज्या दोन ओळखींमध्ये तुम्ही switch करायचात, त्या आता एकच ओळख आहे — कुठल्याही ध्रुवात नाही, केंद्रात जे आहे त्यात आहे.
शेवटची ओवी मदत करते. हा संक्षेप होतो तेव्हा आसपासच्या लोकांकडे तुमच्या "बिघाडण्या"साठी शब्द असतील: भांडखोर, वेडी, विचित्र, कठीण. तुकारामांची हालचाल अचूक आहे. ते label नाकारत नाहीत — ते सहमत होतात आणि कारण जोडतात. हो, आम्हाला भांडखोर म्हणायचे. हो, आम्ही ती रट खरी करून दाखवली. हरीला हृदयात बसवून, द्वि-ध्रुवीय ओळख विरघळून. जो कोणी ती ध्रुवीयता विरघळवेल त्याला हे label लागणारच होतं; तुम्ही सहमत व्हा आणि पुढे चला. सहमती वाद थांबवते; वाद हाच तुमची ऊर्जा वाया घालवत होता.
Where this applies
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When you've held two identities for a long time and they're collapsing into one. The collapse will feel like loss before it feels like rest. Tukaram's diagnostic: if Hari (or whatever has come to occupy your heart's center) is seated, the dissolution is the right kind. You are not losing yourself; the polarity that organized you has resolved.
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When you can no longer tell which 'self' you are in different rooms — and the dissolution feels like loss until you notice it also feels like rest. The rest is the actual signal. Not bliss, not certainty — the cessation of switching. If you have stopped having to be the family-self in one room and the work-self in another, you have arrived at this verse.
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When you have been called a troublemaker for refusing to perform one of your assigned identities. Tukaram's prescription: agree with the label, add the reason, end the conversation. You will not win the argument by defending yourself; you will end the argument by accepting the label and pointing at why. The energy you save can be used elsewhere.