Abhanga 2592
When, Nārāyaṇa, will it come to your mind to accept me? Take up all my burden. The mind tosses in samsāra, looks only at happiness, and the body-mind-voice longs for the real meeting. You are the Lord-of-servants — don't be reluctant; why does it go upside-down only at my time?
The verse
कोण्या काळें येईंल मना । नारायणा तुमचिया ॥१॥
माझा करणें अंगीकार । सर्व भार फेडूनि ॥ध्रु.॥
लागली हे तळमळ चित्ता । तरी दुश्चिता संसारी ॥२॥
सुखाची च पाहें वास । मागें दोष सांभाळीं ॥३॥
इच्छा पूर्ण जाल्याविण । कैसा सीण वारेल ॥४॥
लाहो काया मनें वाचा । देवा साच्या भेटीचा ॥५॥
कांटाळा तो न धरावा । तुम्ही देवा दासांचा ॥६॥
तुका म्हणे माझे वेळे । न कळे कां हें उफराटें ॥७॥
Literal translation
In what age will it come to your mind, Nārāyaṇa — yours? — to accept me, lifting the whole burden. This restlessness has fastened on the mind; meanwhile I am scattered in samsāra. I look only at the path-of-happiness; you keep guard over the sins behind me. Without desire being fulfilled, how shall the weariness end? Body, mind, voice — the desire is for Deva's true meeting. Do not hold reluctance — you, the Lord, of the servants. Tukā says: at my own turn it goes upside-down — I cannot understand why.
What it means
This is the longer protest-prayer of the long-waiting bhakta. The opening line is one of Tukārām's quietly devastating refrains: kōṇyā kāḷēm yēīmla manā Nārāyaṇā tumachiyā — when, in which age, will it come to your mind? Each subsequent verse layers more pressure: take the burden; the restlessness is real; I am genuinely scattered; what I want is only happiness; you must be the one watching the sin-trail behind me; without fulfillment the weariness will not end; my body-mind-speech wait together for the true meeting; do not hold kāmṭāḷā (reluctance, weariness) — you are Lord-of-the-servants. The final verse contains a Tukārām-signature complaint: mājhē vēḷē — na kaḷē kām hē uphrāṭē — at my turn it goes upside-down, I do not understand why. The verb uphrāṭē — turned-over, reversed — captures the protest precisely: others got their meeting; my turn keeps going inverted.
For someone today
When you are years into a practice or a prayer without the inner change you were promised, this verse hands you the legitimate language of protest-prayer. The Vārkarī model is not stoic silence; it is kōṇyā kāḷēm yēīla manā — putting the question directly. List the pieces honestly: I am scattered, my mind keeps fastening on happiness, I cannot lift the burden myself, my body-mind-voice are all in this together, you call yourself servants' Lord. Why does my turn keep going upside-down? The protest does not break faith — it presupposes the relationship. Pray it the way Tukārām prayed it; let the complaint be part of the practice.
Where this applies
- Long illness in which the inner peace has not arrived to match the outer endurance
- Grief beyond the time anyone said it should last
- Decades of practice when the promised fruit has not yet emerged
- Long parenting or caregiving in which your turn at being held seems perpetually delayed