Abhanga 3185
Speaking honest grief and protest directly to the Divine, rather than pretending calm indifference, is itself an act of devotion.
The verse
काशासाठीं आम्ही जाळिला संसार । न करा विचार ऐसा देवा ॥१॥
कैसें नेणों तुम्हां करवतें उदास । माझा प्रेमरस भंगावया ॥ध्रु.॥
समर्पूनि ठेलों देह हा सकळ । धरितां विटाळ न लजा माझा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे अवघी मोकलूनि आस । फिरतों उदास कोणासाटीं ॥३॥
Literal translation
Kāśāsāṭhīm āmhī jāḷilā samsāra — na karā vichāra aisā Devā — for what did we burn samsāra — don't make such vichāra, O Deva. Kaisē nēṇōm tumhām karavatēm udāsa — mājhā prēmarasa bhangāvayā — how do I not know — (something) makes you udāsa — to break my prema-rasa. Samarpūni ṭhēlōm dēha hā sakaḷa — dharitām viṭāḷa na lajā mājhā — (I) have stayed offering the whole deha — (if you) hold viṭāḷa, no shame is mine. Tukā mhaṇe avaghī mōkalūnī āsa — phiratōm udāsa kōṇāsāṭīm — Tukā says: loosening all āsa, I wander udāsa for whose sake.
What it means
A 4-verse lover's-protest (pratyāmnāya) to the Lord. Three reproaches: (1) why are you now cool — we burnt samsāra (for you); (2) your udāsa-state is breaking my prema-rasa; (3) I have offered the whole deha — if you now treat me as viṭāḷa (untouchable, profaned) I have no shame to lose. The closing question is the loneliest: for whose sake do I wander udāsa?
For someone today
There are seasons when the Lord seems to withdraw. The bhakta's response is not detachment — it is protest. Don't tell me to be cool about this — I burnt my whole life for you. Honest grievance with the Divine is itself bhakti.
Where this applies
- Tukārām's Lord-becomes-udāsa, prema-rasa-breaks canonical lover's-protest
- Companion to 2842 (mother-cuts-throat) and 2955 (wife-curses-dying)