Abhanga 3564
Being deeply loved and protected makes a person more tender, not tougher, so it is fair to ask someone who has always cared for you to speak gently rather than harshly.
The verse
लडिवाळ म्हणोनी निष्ठ न बोला । परी सांभाळिला लागे घात ॥१॥
बहु वागवीत आणिलें दुरूनि । दासांची पोसनी बहु आहे ॥ध्रु.॥
नाहीं लागों दिला आघाताचा वारा । निष्ठ उत्तरा कोमेजतों ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे तुम्ही कृपावंत हरि । शांतवा उत्तरीं अमृताच्या ॥३॥
Literal translation
Laḍivāḷa mhaṇōnī niṣṭhura na bōlā — being-a-pet-darling, don't speak niṣṭhura; parī sāmbhāḷilā lāge ghāta — but tending falls (to) destruction. Bahu vāgavīta āṇile durūnī — handled-much, brought from afar; dāsāmchī pōsanī bahu āhe — (you) have many fosterlings of dāsas. Nāhīm lāgōm dilā āghātāchā vārā — didn't let touch-of-a-blow reach; niṣṭhura uttarā kōmejatōm — I wilt by niṣṭhura uttara. Tukā mhaṇe tumhī krpāvanta hari — Tukā says: you are krpāvanta-Hari; śāntavā uttarīm amrtāchyā — pacify with uttara of amrta.
What it means
A 3-verse laḍivāḷa (pet-darling) prayer: don't-speak-harshly; you-brought-me-from-afar, tended-me-among-many-fosterlings, didn't-let-a-blow-reach-me — now-don't-let-me-wilt-by-niṣṭhura-words; pacify-me-with-amrta-uttara, O-krpāvanta-Hari.
For someone today
The well-tended-one is paradoxically the most-easily-bruised. Sometimes intimacy asks not for stern-correction but for amrta-uttara — nectar-words from the same source.
Where this applies
- When you've been cherished and protected all your life and feel unusually fragile at the first harsh word
- When you ask a loved one for gentleness precisely because their past kindness has made you tender
- When someone questions why deep love hasn't made you thicker-skinned instead of more sensitive
- When you want to ask for soothing words rather than criticism from someone who has always cared for you