Abhanga 24
Until the small self dies once, the actions you take are still organized by self-protection. Once it has died, what was previously impossible becomes simply done.
The verse
मरणाही आधीं राहिलों मरोनी । मग केलें मनीं होतें तैसें ॥१॥ आतां तुम्ही पाहा आमुचें नवल । नका वेचूं बोल वांयांविण ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे तुम्ही भयाभीत नारी । कैसे संग सरी तुम्हां आम्हां ॥३॥
(Source: transliteral.org Sant Tukaram Gatha, abhang 24. Eighteenth in 0007-0025+ gopī-arc.)
Literal translation
English: Before death I have stayed-dead; then I did what was in my mind, exactly as it was. Now you watch our wonder — do not waste your words in vain. Tuka says: you fearful women — how could your company match ours?
मराठी (आधुनिक): मरणाच्या आधीच मी मरून राहिले; मग जे मनात होतं ते तसंच केलं. आता तुम्ही पाहा आमचं नवल — व्यर्थ बोलणी फेकू नका. तुकाराम म्हणतात — भयाभीत बायांनो, तुमची आणि आमची सरी कशी जुळेल?
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| मरणाही आधीं राहिलों मरोनी | "before (bodily) death I remained having-died" |
| मग केलें मनीं होतें तैसें | "then I did what was in mind, just so" |
| आतां तुम्ही पाहा आमुचें नवल | "now you watch our wonder" |
| नका वेचूं बोल वांयांविण | "do not waste your words in vain" |
| तुम्ही भयाभीत नारी | "you fearful women" |
| कैसे संग सरी तुम्हां आम्हां | "how would your company be a match for ours?" (सरी = equality, suitability) |
What it means
The opening verse is one of the densest single lines in the gopī-arc: मरणाही आधीं राहिलों मरोनी — before (bodily) death I remained having-died. This is jīvan-mukti — the classical Indian claim that liberation can be attained while still embodied, through the death-of-the-small-self before bodily death. The bhakta has already died in the sense that matters; what remains is the body, going through actions, but the inner ego that would have feared, hesitated, calculated has dissolved. [Tradition]
The cause-and-effect is striking: मग केलें मनीं होतें तैसें — then I did what was in mind, exactly as it was. The pre-death is what enables the action. Until the small self dies, action is filtered through self-protection; once it has died, what was in mind passes directly into doing. The fearful women, by contrast, have not yet died; their actions are still self-protective; their company cannot match the speaker's. [T]
The phrase नवल — wonder, marvel — frames what the speaker is doing as a kind of spectacle to be witnessed. Tukaram is acknowledging that what she does will look strange from the outside. The instruction is: नका वेचूं बोल वांयांविण — don't waste words on it. Words from the not-yet-dead cannot reach the post-death actor. [T]
For someone today
English: This abhang names a structural threshold most spiritual traditions have a name for — the moment when the small self has actually died, ahead of the body's death, and what remains is the strange capacity to do what was previously impossible. From the inside, this is not heroism; the speaker says she "did what was in mind, exactly as it was." From the outside, it looks like नवल — wonder. The gap between the two is created by the death of the small self.
You may have witnessed someone do something you knew you could not have done — sit with a dying person without flinching, walk away from a relationship without looking back, hold a difficult truth in front of powerful people without breaking. Tukaram's claim is precise: they had access to something you don't yet — they had pre-died. Whatever in them would have flinched, hesitated, performed safety, was already gone. So what was in their mind passed directly into action without filtering.
The unwelcome news is that you cannot pre-die by deciding to. The small self does not die by being argued with. It dies, in the bhakti tradition, by being exhausted into surrender — by going through what 0007-0023 describe. The fearful women in this verse have not yet been through it. The speaker is not putting them down; she is naming an unbridgeable difference of stage. The bridge is not effort. The bridge is the journey of 0007-0023.
मराठी: ही ओवी एका रचनात्मक उंबरठ्याचं नाव सांगते जो बहुतेक आध्यात्मिक परंपरांकडे आहे — तो क्षण जेव्हा छोटा मी खरंच मरतो — शरीराच्या मृत्यूच्या आधी — आणि जे शिल्लक राहतं ते म्हणजे आधी अशक्य वाटणाऱ्या गोष्टी करण्याची विचित्र क्षमता. आतून हे शौर्य नाही; ती म्हणते "मनात होतं तसं केलं." बाहेरून हे नवल दिसतं. दोनींमधलं अंतर छोट्या मीच्या मृत्यूने तयार केलं आहे.
तुम्ही कुणाला असं काही करताना पाहिलं असेल जे तुम्हाला माहीत होतं तुम्ही करू शकला नसता — मरणारयाजवळ न डगमगता बसणं, नातं मागे वळून न पाहता सोडणं, शक्तिशाली लोकांसमोर कठीण सत्य न मोडता धरून ठेवणं. तुकारामांचा दावा अचूक आहे: त्यांच्याकडे काहीतरी होतं जे तुमच्याकडे अजून नाही — ते आधीच मरून गेले होते. त्यांच्यातलं जे डगमगलं असतं, घुटमळलं असतं, सुरक्षेची नाटक केली असती — ते आधीच गेलं होतं. म्हणून मनात जे होतं ते filter न होता थेट कृतीत गेलं.
अप्रिय बातमी ही की आधी-मरण ठरवून घेता येत नाही. छोटा मी वादाने मरत नाही. भक्ती परंपरेत तो मरतो — शरणागतीत संपून. ०००७-००२३ ने जे वर्णिलं आहे ते सोसून. या ओवीतल्या भयाभीत बाया अजून त्यातून गेल्या नाहीत. वक्ती त्यांना खाली पाडत नाहीये; ती टप्प्याचा न-जोडता-येणारा फरक नाव देतेय. पूल कष्टाने बांधता येत नाही. पूल आहे ०००७-००२३ चा प्रवास.
Where this applies
- When you've witnessed someone do something you couldn't have done. They had access to something you don't yet — they had pre-died in the relevant way. Don't compare yourself; navigate toward the same crossing.
- When you find yourself unexpectedly fearless in a situation where you used to be paralyzed. Something has died. Note what. The fearlessness is real, and so is the death.
- When you keep waiting to feel ready for a difficult action. Readiness is on the other side of the small-self's death, not before it. The waiting is the dying.