Abhanga 382
When longing for the Divine becomes unbearable, question yourself honestly, ask for help reaching Him, and resolve that once He is near you will never turn away again.
The verse
हरिबिन रहियां न जाये जिहिरा । कबकी थाडी देखें राहा ॥१॥ क्या मेरे लाल कवन चुकी भई । क्या मोहिपासिती बेर लगाई ॥ध्रु.॥ कोई सखी हरी जावे बुलावन । बार हि डारूं उसपर तन ॥२॥ तुका प्रभु कब देखें पाऊं । पासीं आऊं फेर न जाऊं ॥३॥
Literal translation
Without Hari — life cannot remain — how long since the path-look. What cukī — my lāl? what bēra — on me? Some sakhī — go to call Hari — I will throw the body on him. Tuka prabhu — when will I see (His) pāūm — coming near, I won't return.
मराठी: Hari शिवाय जीव राहत नाही — कधीचा वाट पाहत होते. माझ्या lāl, माझी काय cukī झाली? — माझ्यावर bēra (delay) का?. कुणी सखी,Hariला बोलवायला जा — मी त्याच्यावर शरीर टाकीन. तुकाराम म्हणतां — Tuka prabhu, कधी पाय पाहीन? — पाशी आल्यावर परत जाणार नाही.
Word-by-word gloss
| Hindi-Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| हरिबिन रहियां न जाये जिहिरा | "without Hari — jihiṛā (life) cannot remain" |
| कबकी थाडी देखें राहा | "how long since — the thāḍī (path-look)" |
| क्या मेरे लाल कवन चुकी भई | "what cukī — my lāl?" |
| क्या मोहिपासिती बेर लगाई | "what bēra (delay) — has come on me?" |
| कोई सखी हरी जावे बुलावन | "some sakhī — go to call Hari" |
| बार हि डारूं उसपर तन | "(repeatedly) I will throw — body — on him" |
| तुका प्रभु कब देखें पाऊं | "Tuka prabhu — when will I see (His) pāūm?" |
| पासीं आऊं फेर न जाऊं | "coming near — I won't return" |
What it means
A viraha-longing abhang in Hindi-vrajāvalī register. Companion to 381 in the Hindi-Krishna-bhakti micro-cluster. Three claims:
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हरिबिन रहियां न जाये जिहिरा — कबकी थाडी देखें राहा — without Hari, life cannot remain — how long since the path-look. The opening-viraha cry: life cannot continue without Hari; how long have I been doing thethāḍī(standing-and-looking-at-the-path)? The waiting-on-the-path image.
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क्या मेरे लाल कवन चुकी भई — क्या मोहिपासिती बेर लगाई — what cukī, my lāl — what delay on me? The self-questioning: what mistake have I made, my beloved? — why this delay (bēra)? The viraha attributes the delay to one's own cukī.
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कोई सखी हरी जावे बुलावन — बार हि डारूं उसपर तन — some sakhī, go to call Hari — will throw the body on him. The sakhī-intermediary request: some sakhī (friend), go and call Hari for me; (when he comes) I will throw my body on him. (Bāra hi ḍārūm — I will throw repeatedly / completely.)
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तुका प्रभु कब देखें पाऊं — पासीं आऊं फेर न जाऊं — Tuka prabhu, when will I see (His) feet — coming near, I won't return. The closing-resolve: Tukaprabhu— when will I see (His) feet? Coming near, I won't return. The won't-return-once-near vow.
[T]
For someone today
This verse speaks the ache of missing someone you love so deeply that life itself feels unbearable without them. The speaker has been waiting and watching the road for so long that she turns the question inward, wondering what she did wrong to deserve this delay, rather than blaming the one she waits for. She doesn't try to carry the longing alone — she asks a friend to go call her beloved for her. And she makes herself a promise: once he is near, she will give herself over completely and never walk away again.
मराठी: ही ओवी अशा माणसाच्या विरहवेदनेबद्दल आहे जो इतक्या खोल प्रेमात आहे की त्याच्याशिवाय जगणंच कठीण वाटतं. वाट पाहून पाहून थकलेली ही स्त्री दुसऱ्याला दोष न देता स्वतःलाच विचारते — माझं काय चुकलं की ही उशीर झाली? ती हा विरह एकटीने सोसत नाही — ती एका सखीला विनवते की जा, माझ्या प्रियकराला बोलावून आण. आणि ती स्वतःशी वचन देते — तो जवळ आला की मी स्वतःला पूर्णपणे त्याच्यावर सोपवीन आणि पुन्हा कधी मागे फिरणार नाही.
Where this applies
- Life-cannot-continue without Hari. Genuine-viraha threshold.
- Self-question the cukī. Viraha self-diagnosis.
- Sakhī intermediary call. Use fellow-bhakta.
- Throw body; won't return. Resolve.