Abhanga 2851
Mājhe maja kaḷōm yētī avaguṇa — my (own) avaguṇa (faults) come to my own kaḷōm (knowing); kāya karūm mana anāvara — what do I do — (my) mind is anāvara (unrestrainable).
The verse
माझे मज कळों येती अवगुण । काय करूं मन अनावर ॥१॥
आतां आड उभा राहें नारायणा । दयासिंधुपणा साच करीं ॥ध्रु.॥
वाचा वदे परी करणें कठीण । इंद्रियां अधीन जालों देवा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे तुझा जैसा तैसा दास । न धरीं उदास मायबापा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Mājhe maja kaḷōm yētī avaguṇa — my (own) avaguṇa (faults) come to my own kaḷōm (knowing); kāya karūm mana anāvara — what do I do — (my) mind is anāvara (unrestrainable). Ātām āḍa ubhā rāhe Nārāyaṇā — now stand āḍa (across, blocking) (the way), Nārāyaṇa; dayā-sindhu-paṇā sācha karī — make sācha (true, verified) (your) dayā-sindhu-paṇā (being-the-ocean-of-compassion). Vāchā vade parī karaṇē kaṭhīṇa — the vāchā (speech) speaks (it), but the karaṇa (doing) is kaṭhīṇa (hard); indriyām adhīna jālōm Devā — I have become adhīna (subject-subordinate-servant) to the indriyas, O Deva. Tukā says: tujhā jaisā taisā dāsa — I am your dāsa — jaisā taisā (as-I-am, such-as-I-am); na dharī udāsa māyabāpā — don't hold (me) udāsa (cast-aside, ignored), mother-father.
What it means
A canonical self-aware-petition verse. Mājhe maja kaḷōm yētī avaguṇa — kāya karūm mana anāvara — my own faults come to my own knowing — what do I do, the mind is unrestrainable. The opening: self-awareness of faults is present (I-know-my-avaguṇa); but the mind is anāvara (uncontrollable). The honest-confession of knowing-yet-not-being-able-to-act.
Ātām āḍa ubhā rāhe Nārāyaṇā — dayā-sindhu-paṇā sācha karī — now stand blocking the way, Nārāyaṇa — make true your dayā-sindhu-paṇā. The radical-petition: block-the-way (stand-as-an-obstacle to-my-going-wrong); prove-your-ocean-of-compassion-claim by actually-stopping-me. The bhakta puts the burden on the Lord.
Vāchā vade parī karaṇē kaṭhīṇa — indriyām adhīna jālōm Devā — speech utters (it) — but doing is hard — I have become subordinate to the indriyas. The honest-diagnostic: I can-say-the-right-things, but I-can't-do-them; I am-the-servant-of-my-senses. The speech-doing gap.
The close: Tukā mhaṇe tujhā jaisā taisā dāsa — na dharī udāsa māyabāpā — Tukā: I am your dāsa — as-I-am, such-as-I-am — don't hold (me) cast-aside, mother-father. The jaisā-taisā-dāsa claim: I am your servant — even-in-this-faulty-state — don't cast-me-aside.
For someone today
A canonical I-know-my-faults-help-me prayer. My own faults come to my own knowing — what do I do, the mind is unrestrainable. Now stand blocking the way, Nārāyaṇa — make true your ocean-of-compassion-claim. Speech utters (it), but doing is hard — I have become subordinate to the senses, O Deva. I am your dāsa as-I-am, such-as-I-am — don't hold (me) cast-aside, mother-father. The verse permits honest-self-aware-petition: the bhakta knows-his-faults, knows-the-vāchā-karaṇa-gap, knows-his-senses-rule-him — and asks-the-Lord-to-stand-blocking-the-way (rather than promising-to-do-better-himself). The bhakti-relief: the Lord's-task is to-prove-his-dayā-sindhu-paṇā by actually-intervening. The jaisā-taisā-dāsa (as-I-am-your-servant) claim is the foundational-petition.
Where this applies
- The canonical I-know-my-faults-help-me prayer
- Recognizing vāchā-vade-but-karaṇē-kaṭhīṇa gap
- Stand-blocking-the-way-Nārāyaṇa — make-true-your-dayā-sindhu-paṇā radical petition
- The jaisā-taisā-dāsa (as-I-am-your-servant) claim