Abhanga 2851
Knowing your faults isn't enough to fix them, so ask for real intervention and trust you can still be accepted exactly as you are, flaws included.
The verse
माझे मज कळों येती अवगुण । काय करूं मन अनावर ॥१॥
आतां आड उभा राहें नारायणा । दयासिंधुपणा साच करीं ॥ध्रु.॥
वाचा वदे परी करणें कठीण । इंद्रियां अधीन जालों देवा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे तुझा जैसा तैसा दास । न धरीं उदास मायबापा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Mājhe maja kaḷōm yētī avaguṇa — my (own)avaguṇa(faults) come to my ownkaḷōm(knowing); kāya karūm mana anāvara — what do I do — (my) mind isanāvara(unrestrainable). Ātām āḍa ubhā rāhe Nārāyaṇā — now standāḍa(across, blocking) (the way), Nārāyaṇa; dayā-sindhu-paṇā sācha karī — makesācha(true, verified) (your)dayā-sindhu-paṇā(being-the-ocean-of-compassion). Vāchā vade parī karaṇē kaṭhīṇa — thevāchā(speech) speaks (it), but thekaraṇa(doing) iskaṭhīṇa(hard); indriyām adhīna jālōm Devā — I have becomeadhīna(subject-subordinate-servant) to theindriyas, O Deva. Tukā says: tujhā jaisā taisā dāsa — I am yourdāsa—jaisā taisā(as-I-am, such-as-I-am); na dharī udāsa māyabāpā — don't hold (me)udāsa(cast-aside, ignored), mother-father.
What it means
A canonical self-aware-petition verse. Mājhe maja kaḷōm yētī avaguṇa — kāya karūm mana anāvara — my own faults come to my own knowing — what do I do, the mind is unrestrainable. The opening: self-awareness of faults is present (I-know-my-avaguṇa); but the mind is anāvara (uncontrollable). The honest-confession of knowing-yet-not-being-able-to-act.
Ātām āḍa ubhā rāhe Nārāyaṇā — dayā-sindhu-paṇā sācha karī — now stand blocking the way, Nārāyaṇa — make true your dayā-sindhu-paṇā. The radical-petition: block-the-way (stand-as-an-obstacle to-my-going-wrong); prove-your-ocean-of-compassion-claim by actually-stopping-me. The bhakta puts the burden on the Lord.
Vāchā vade parī karaṇē kaṭhīṇa — indriyām adhīna jālōm Devā — speech utters (it) — but doing is hard — I have become subordinate to the indriyas. The honest-diagnostic: I can-say-the-right-things, but I-can't-do-them; I am-the-servant-of-my-senses. The speech-doing gap.
The close: Tukā mhaṇe tujhā jaisā taisā dāsa — na dharī udāsa māyabāpā — Tukā: I am your dāsa — as-I-am, such-as-I-am — don't hold (me) cast-aside, mother-father. The jaisā-taisā-dāsa claim: I am your servant — even-in-this-faulty-state — don't cast-me-aside.
For someone today
This verse is for anyone who knows exactly what's wrong with them but still can't stop doing it. Tukaram admits he sees his own faults clearly, yet his mind won't obey him, knowing better isn't the same as doing better. Instead of promising to try harder, he asks God to physically stand in his way and stop him, to prove that divine compassion is real by actually intervening rather than just being praised for it. He ends by asking to be accepted exactly as he is, flawed, inconsistent, ruled by his senses, rather than being written off.
मराठी: हा अभंग अशा प्रत्येकासाठी आहे ज्याला आपल्या चुका नेमक्या माहीत आहेत, पण तरीही तो त्या थांबवू शकत नाही. तुकाराम कबूल करतात की त्यांना स्वतःचे दोष स्पष्ट दिसतात, पण त्यांचे मन काही केल्या आवरत नाही, कळणे आणि वळणे यात मोठा फरक आहे. चांगले वागण्याचे वचन देण्याऐवजी ते देवाला विनंती करतात की त्याने प्रत्यक्ष वाटेत उभे राहून त्यांना अडवावे, आणि आपली दयाळूता केवळ बोलण्यापुरती नाही तर प्रत्यक्ष कृतीतून सिद्ध करावी. शेवटी ते विनवतात, मी जसा आहे तसाच मला स्वीकारा, दोषांसकट आणि इंद्रियांच्या आहारी गेलेला असूनही मला टाकून देऊ नका.
Where this applies
- When you know a habit is bad for you but can't seem to stop doing it
- When you're tired of promising yourself you'll change and then failing again
- When you want help from something bigger than your own willpower
- When you feel unworthy of love because of your ongoing flaws and slip-ups