Abhanga 2966
A relationship that blocks your devotion and demands everything while giving nothing back is a trap that can waste a life, though this complaint reflects one man's grievance, not a rule about women.
The verse
बाइल तरी ऐसी व्हावी । नरकीं गोवी अनिवार ॥१॥
घडों नेदी तीर्थयात्रा । केला कुतरा हातसोंका ॥ध्रु.॥
आपुली च करवी सेवा । पुजवी देवासारिखें ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे गाढव पशु । केला नाशु आयुष्या ॥३॥
Literal translation
Bāila tarī aiśī hvāvī — abāila(wife) (some say) should be such; narakī gōvī anivāra — (that she)anivāra(unstoppably)gōvī(binds, entangles) innaraka. Ghaḍō nedī tīrtha-yātrā — (she) does not lettīrtha-yātrātake place; kelā kutarā hāta-sōnkā — has made (him into) ahāta-sōnkā(hand-domesticated)kutarā(dog). Āpulī cha karavī sevā — (she) gets her ownsevādone; pujavī Devā-sārikhe — pūjās(him) as (= treats him to be worshipped) like a Deva (= demands devotion). Tukā says: gāḍhava paśu — a donkey-beast; kelā nāśu āyuṣyā — has destroyed (his)āyuṣya.
What it means
A striking 4-verse anti-bad-wife polemic — paired with 2967 as a 2-abhang cluster documenting Tukārām's-frustration with the bad-wife archetype of his time. The verse must-be-read-in-its-17th-c-context.
Bāila tarī aiśī hvāvī — narakī gōvī anivāra — a wife (some say) should be such — (that she) unstoppably binds (him) in naraka. The ironic-opening: the bad-wife is described-as-she-might-be-praised-by-those-who-don't-see-the-trap.
Ghaḍō nedī tīrtha-yātrā — kelā kutarā hāta-sōnkā — doesn't let tīrtha-yātrā happen — made (him into) a hand-domesticated dog. The diagnostic: she-prevents-his-bhakti-pilgrimage; she-tames-him like a dog.
Āpulī cha karavī sevā — pujavī Devā-sārikhe — gets her own sevā done — pūjās (him) as a Deva. The reversal: she-demands-sevā from-him as-if-she-were-the-Deva (inverting the order).
The close: Tukā mhaṇe gāḍhava paśu — kelā nāśu āyuṣyā — a donkey-beast — destroyed (his) āyuṣya. The conclusion: such-a-bāila is a donkey-beast (gāḍhava-paśu) who-has-destroyed-his-life.
Note on social-context: This text is bound-to-its-17th-c-patriarchal context. The criticism is specifically of the bad-wife-who-prevents-bhakti — not of women generally. Tukārām elsewhere honors-mother (2811, 2596, 2896 māyabāpe-Kāśī), praises-sant-women (2810 Sajana-Janī-Mīrā), and-respects-Rukhumāī. The diagnostic-element is the-wife-preventing-bhakti-practice. The text-must-be-read-historically-not-prescriptively.
For someone today
In this verse Tukaram vents frustration at a particular kind of household relationship, describing a wife who blocks his pilgrimages and devotional practice, keeps him tied down like a domesticated animal, and expects to be served and honored as though she were the deity herself. He concludes bitterly that such a relationship, giving nothing back while demanding everything, wastes a person's whole life. This should be read as a specific complaint born of Tukaram's own 17th-century household tensions rather than a general statement about women — elsewhere in his poetry he honors his mother and praises devoted women saints. The real warning here is about any relationship that blocks your devotion while demanding everything for itself.
मराठी: या अभंगात तुकाराम एका विशिष्ट प्रकारच्या घरगुती नात्याबद्दल आपली निराशा व्यक्त करतात — अशी पत्नी जी तीर्थयात्रा व भक्ती करू देत नाही, त्याला जणू पाळीव प्राण्यासारखे बांधून ठेवते, आणि स्वतःची सेवा देवासारखी करून घेते. शेवटी ते कडवटपणे म्हणतात की असे नाते, जे काहीही परत न देता सर्व काही मागते, माणसाचे संपूर्ण आयुष्य वाया घालवते. हे तुकारामांच्या स्वतःच्या सतराव्या शतकातील घरगुती तणावातून आलेले विशिष्ट गाऱ्हाणे आहे, स्त्रियांबद्दलचे सर्वसाधारण विधान नाही — कारण ते इतरत्र आपल्या आईचा सन्मान करतात आणि भक्त संत-स्त्रियांची स्तुती करतात. या अभंगामागचा खरा इशारा हा आहे की जे कोणतेही नाते तुझ्या भक्तीत अडथळा आणते आणि स्वतःसाठीच सर्वस्व मागते, त्यापासून सावध राहावे.
Where this applies
- 17th-c anti-bad-wife polemic — bound to time-and-context
- Pairs with 2967 as 2-abhang anti-bad-wife cluster
- Documentary-evidence of 17th-c household-disputes-and-tensions
- Note: must be contextualized historically; not prescriptive