Abhanga 3008
You can openly resent what devotion has cost you and still refuse to let go of it, holding both protest and loyalty together.
The verse
अवघा बुडविला लौकिक । सुखें चि भीके लाविलीं ॥१॥
म्हणोनि शाहाणे ते कोणी । तुझे दारीं बैसतिना ॥ध्रु.॥
नागवणा या नांवा । वांचूनि दुजा नाइकों ॥२॥
तुकयाबंधु म्हणे चरण । आतां जीवें न सोडीं ॥३॥
Literal translation
Avaghā buḍavilā laukika — all thelaukika(reputation) (you have) sunk; sukhe chi bhīke lāvilīm — happily, (you) have driven-(us) tobhīkā(begging). Mhaṇōnī śahāṇe te kōṇī — therefore, the wise ones; tujhe dārī baisatinā — none sit at your door. Nāgavaṇā yā nāvā — nāgavaṇā(stripper) — thisnāva(name); vāñchūnī dujā nāikōm — except (this), we don't hear another. Tukayā-bandhu mhaṇe charaṇa — Tukārām's-brother says: (your) feet; ātām jīve na sōḍīm — now, with (my) life I will not let-(them)-go.
What it means
A short protest-and-clinging verse by Tukyā-bandhu. NON-Tukārām.
The bhakta-brother accuses the Lord of sinking-the-family's-reputation and driving-them-to-begging. Hence the wise-don't-sit-at-the-Lord's-door. The Lord's-only-name (in the bhakta's-experience) is nāgavaṇā (stripper, one-who-strips-naked). But the bhakta still-clings — I-won't-let-go-of-your-feet-with-my-life.
For someone today
Kānhobā doesn't hold back here: he accuses the Lord of sinking their family's whole reputation and cheerfully reducing them to begging. Because of this, he says, wise people know better than to sit at the Lord's door. In his experience, the only name that fits the Lord right now is 'the stripper' — the one who takes everything away. And yet, in the very same breath, he vows he will never let go of the Lord's feet as long as he lives. It shows that you can be openly angry about what devotion has cost you and still refuse to release your hold on it — protest and loyalty held together at once.
मराठी: येथे कान्होबा काही लपवत नाही — त्याचा आरोप आहे की परमेश्वराने त्यांच्या कुटुंबाची सगळी अब्रू बुडवली आणि आनंदाने त्यांना भीक मागायला लावले. म्हणूनच शहाणी माणसे परमेश्वराच्या दारात बसत नाहीत, असे तो म्हणतो. त्याच्या अनुभवात परमेश्वराला शोभणारे एकच नाव आहे — 'नागवणारा', म्हणजे सर्वस्व हिरावून घेणारा. आणि तरीही, त्याच श्वासात तो नवस करतो की जिवंत असेपर्यंत तो परमेश्वराचे चरण सोडणार नाही. भक्तीने काय गमावले याचा उघड राग व्यक्त करतानाही तिला सोडून न देण्याची निष्ठा — तक्रार आणि निष्ठा एकाच वेळी बाळगता येतात, हेच हा अभंग दाखवतो.
Where this applies
- Part of Kānhōbā's lament-cluster (2977-3014)
- NON-Tukārām composition — signed by Tukyā-bandhu
- Lord-as-nāgavaṇā (stripper) protest
- Won't-let-go-of-feet-with-my-life defiant-clinging