Abhanga 3848
Admitting honestly that you cannot control your own impulses and asking for help is more real than pretending to already have mastery over yourself.
The verse
आतां मी अनन्य येथें अधिकारी । होइन कोणे परी नेणें देवा ॥१॥
पुराणींचा अर्थ ऐकतां मानस । होतो कासावीस जीव माझा ॥ध्रु.॥
इंिद्रयांचे आम्ही पांगिलों अंकित । त्यांच्यासंगें चित्त रंगलें तें ॥२॥
एकाचें ही जेथें न घडे दमन । अवघीं नेमून कैसीं राखों ॥३॥
तुका म्हणे जरी मोकळिसी आतां । तरी मी अनंता वांयां गेलों ॥४॥
Literal translation
Ātām mī ananya yethe adhikārī — now I (am) an ananya — adhikārī; hōina kōṇe parī neṇe Devā — how I'll become — I don't know, Deva. Purāṇīmñcā artha aikatām mānasa — hearing Purāṇa's meaning, mind; hōtō kāsāvīsa jīva mājhā — my jīva becomes kāsāvīsa. Imdriyāñce āmhī pāngilōm amkita — we are bound as imdriyas' amkita; tyāñcyāsange chitta rangale te — chitta dyed in their sanga. Ekāñce hī jethe na ghaḍe damana — where even one's damana doesn't happen; avaghīm nemūna kaisīm rākhōm — how shall (I) keep all by nema. Tukā mhaṇe jarī mōkaḷisī ātām — Tukā says: if (you) let-loose now; tarī mī Anantā vāmyām gelōm — then I, Ananta, am lost in vain.
What it means
A 4-verse honest-petition. Tukārām confesses: bound-by-indriyas; can't-master-them-on-my-own; don't-let-me-loose-now. The bhakta-frankness about-spiritual-limitation.
For someone today
Tukaram admits he does not really know how devoted or qualified he actually is, even though he tries to be single-minded about God. Just hearing the meaning of sacred stories stirs up anxiety in him, because he knows his senses still pull him around like a servant obeying its master. He cannot even discipline one of his senses on his own, let alone all of them by rules and willpower. So he asks God directly not to let him go now, because if left on his own, he knows he will be lost.
मराठी: तुकाराम कबूल करतात की ते खरोखर किती अनन्य किंवा योग्य आहेत हे त्यांनाही माहीत नाही, जरी ते देवाशी एकनिष्ठ राहण्याचा प्रयत्न करत असले तरी. पुराणांचा अर्थ ऐकतानाही त्यांचे मन अस्वस्थ होते, कारण त्यांना ठाऊक आहे की इंद्रिये अजूनही त्यांना सेवकासारखे आपल्या तालावर नाचवतात. एका इंद्रियावरही स्वतःच्या बळावर ताबा मिळवता येत नाही, मग सगळ्यांवर नियमांनी ताबा कसा ठेवणार. म्हणून ते देवाला थेट विनंती करतात की आता मला सोडून देऊ नकोस, कारण स्वतःच्या बळावर सोडले तर मी हरवून जाईन हे त्यांना माहीत आहे.
Where this applies
- When you keep trying to discipline yourself and keep slipping back into old habits
- When reading or hearing wise teachings makes you anxious about your own shortcomings instead of calm
- When you feel your desires and impulses are quietly running your life more than you'd like to admit
- When you need to ask for outside help because willpower alone has not been enough