Abhanga 3981
Honest complaint and demanding closeness from someone you love is itself a form of intimacy, not a betrayal of devotion.
The verse
कोठें गुंतलासी योगीयांचे ध्यानीं । आनंदकीर्तनीं पंढरीच्या ॥१॥
काय काज कोठें पडलीसे गुंती । कानीं न पडती बोल माझे ॥ध्रु.॥
काय शेषनशयनीं सुखनिद्रा आली । सोय कां सांडिली तुम्ही देवा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे कोठें गुंतलेती सांगा । किती पांडुरंगा वाट पाहूं ॥३॥
Literal translation
Kōṭhem gumtalāsī yōgīyāñce dhyānīm — ānandakīrtanīm paṇḍharīcyā — where are you entangled — in yogis' dhyāna — in Paṇḍharī's ānanda-kīrtana. Kāya kāja kōṭhem paḍalīse gumtī — kānīm na paḍatī bōla mājhe — what task — where has bind fallen — my words don't fall in (your) ears. Kāya śeṣanaśayanīm sukhanidrā ālī — sōya kām sāṇḍilī tumhī devā — has happy-sleep come on Śeṣa-bed — why have you abandoned the sōya, O Deva. Tukā mhaṇe kōṭhem gumtaletī sāngā — kitī pāṇḍurangā vāṭa pāhūm — Tukā says: tell where you're entangled — how long, Pāṇḍurangā, shall I watch the path.
What it means
A 3-verse impatient-summons. Where-are-you-stuck — in-yogi-dhyāna or-Paṇḍharī-kīrtana; my-words-aren't-reaching-you; have-you-fallen-asleep-on-Śeṣa-bed; why-abandon-the-familiar-way; how-long-shall-I-wait. Devotional intimacy as gentle complaint.
For someone today
Tukaram sounds almost exasperated here, asking God directly where he has gotten stuck, whether lost in the meditation of yogis or caught up in the joyful kirtana of Pandhari, because his own calling words do not seem to be landing. He wonders, half teasingly, if God has simply fallen into a comfortable sleep on his serpent-bed and abandoned the familiar path between them. He does not hide his impatience, asking plainly how long he is supposed to keep watching the road for an answer. What comes through is that devotion does not have to be quiet and uncomplaining; it can include honest complaint and demanding closeness, because that kind of directness is itself a form of intimacy and trust.
मराठी: तुकाराम इथे जवळजवळ चिडलेले वाटतात, ते देवाला थेट विचारतात की तो कुठे अडकला आहे — योग्यांच्या ध्यानात की पंढरीच्या आनंदी कीर्तनात — कारण त्यांचे हाक मारणे देवाच्या कानापर्यंत पोहोचतच नाही आहे. ते अर्धगंमतीने विचारतात की देव शेषशय्येवर सुखाने झोपला आहे का आणि त्यांच्यातला नेहमीचा मार्ग विसरला आहे का. आपली अधीरता ते लपवत नाहीत, आणि स्पष्टपणे विचारतात की आणखी किती काळ त्यांनी वाट पाहायची. यातून हे दिसते की भक्ती नेहमी शांत आणि तक्रार न करणारी असावी असे नाही — तिच्यात प्रामाणिक तक्रार आणि जवळीक मागणे सुद्धा असू शकते, कारण अशी स्पष्टवक्तेपणा हाच एक प्रकारचा विश्वास आणि जवळीक असतो.
Where this applies
- When you feel like your prayers or calls for help are going unanswered and unheard
- When someone close to you seems distant and you want to ask them directly why
- When you are tired of waiting patiently and want permission to voice your frustration honestly
- When you wonder whether complaining to someone you love is a sign of distance or actually closeness