Abhanga 4164
Even deep devotion leaves room for raw honesty about despair and disillusionment with how hard the world has become.
The verse
आतां बरें जालें । सकाळीं च कळों आलें ॥१॥
मज न ठेवीं इहलोकीं । आलों तेव्हां जाली चुकी ॥ध्रु.॥
युगमहिमा ठावा । नव्हता ऐसा पुढें देवा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे ठेवीं । भोगासाटीं निरयगांवीं ॥३॥
Literal translation
Ātām bare jāle — sakāḷīm chi kaḷōm āle — now (it is) well — it became known in the morning. Maja na ṭhevīm ihalōkīm — ālōm tevhām jālī chukī — don't keep me in this loka — when I came, a mistake was made. Yugamahimā ṭhāvā — navhatā aisā puḍhe devā — the greatness-of-the-age was not (visible) thus ahead, Deva. Tukā mhaṇe ṭhevīm — bhōgāsāṭīm nirayagāvīm — Tukā says: keep (me) — for bhōga in niraya-village (instead).
What it means
A 3-verse bitter self-statement. Just-now-it-became-known; don't-keep-me-in-this-loka — my-coming-was-a-mistake; the-yuga-mahimā-wasn't-visible-to-me-from-outside; keep-me-in-niraya-village-for-bhōga-instead. The bitter-irony: niraya-gāva would-be-better-than-this-Kali-yuga-village.
For someone today
Tukaram voices raw disillusionment here: it became painfully clear to him, right from the start, that being born into this world, into this age, feels like a mistake he wishes could be undone. He admits he never realized ahead of time how hard and corrupt this era would actually be to live through. In his bitterness he goes as far as saying he would rather bear suffering in hell itself than endure this world, a stark admission of just how much pain and disappointment this life has brought him.
मराठी: तुकाराम इथे उघड निराशा व्यक्त करतात: सकाळीच त्यांना कळून चुकले की या जगात, या युगात जन्माला येणे ही जणू एक चूक होती. हा काळ इतका कठीण आणि बिघडलेला असेल हे आधी त्यांना ठाऊक नव्हते असे ते कबूल करतात. आपल्या कडवटपणात ते इतके पुढे जातात की या जगापेक्षा नरकातच भोगणे बरे असे म्हणतात, यातून या आयुष्याने दिलेले दुःख आणि निराशा किती खोल आहे हे स्पष्ट होते.
Where this applies
- When you feel utterly disillusioned with how bad things have become around you
- When you choose honesty about despair instead of pretending everything is fine
- When you realize you weren't prepared for how hard a particular chapter of life would be
- When you need to voice raw pain without softening it, even to someone you trust deeply