Abhanga 4409
Even honest protest and despair toward God can end in a humble request to simply be kept close and not neglected.
The verse
कासयासि व्यर्थ घातलें संसारीं । होतें तैसें जरी तुझे चित्ती ॥१॥
तुझिये भेटीची थोर असे आस । दिसोनी निरास आली मज ॥ध्रु.॥
आतां काय जिणें जालें निरर्थक । वैकुंठनायक भेटे चि ना ॥२॥
आडलासि काय कृपेच्या सागरा । रकुमादेवीवरा सोइरिया ॥३॥
तुका म्हणे देई चरणाची सेवा । नुपेक्षीं केशवा मायबापा ॥४॥
Literal translation
Why throw (me) into samsāra in-vain, if that was in your chitti? The bhēṭī's thōra āsa — came into niraśā. What jīṇa now — nirarthaka; Vaikuṇṭha-nāyaka doesn't meet. Why āḍalāsi (stuck), krpā-sāgara, Rakumādevīvara-sōyariyā? Tukā: give charaṇa-sevā; don't upekṣa, Keśava-māyabāpa.
What it means
A short petition: if-meeting-was-already-decided-in-your-mind, why-throw-me-into-samsāra-in-vain? The bhakta-asks-for-reconciliation.
For someone today
This abhang is a cry of frustrated hope. Tukaram asks God directly: if you never meant to meet me, why did you throw me into this hard worldly life at all? His great hope of union with God has turned into despair because that meeting keeps not happening, and his whole life now feels pointless. He even challenges God, asking why the ocean of mercy seems blocked when it comes to him, before softening into a simple request: just let me serve at your feet, do not neglect me the way a parent should never neglect a child.
मराठी: हा अभंग एक निराश झालेल्या आशेचा आक्रोश आहे. तुकाराम देवाला थेट विचारतात - जर तुला मला भेटायचेच नव्हते, तर मला या कठीण संसारात का टाकलेस? देवाला भेटण्याची त्यांची मोठी आशा आता निराशेत बदलली आहे, कारण ती भेट काही होत नाही, आणि त्यामुळे त्यांचे संपूर्ण आयुष्य निरर्थक वाटू लागले आहे. ते देवालाही आव्हान देतात, कृपासागर माझ्यापुरता का अडतो असे विचारतात, आणि शेवटी नरमून एक साधी विनंती करतात - फक्त तुझ्या चरणांची सेवा दे, आईवडिलांनी मुलाकडे दुर्लक्ष करू नये तसे माझ्याकडे दुर्लक्ष करू नकोस.
Where this applies
- When your hope for something meaningful keeps being disappointed and your effort starts to feel pointless
- When you feel confused about why life has been hard if there was supposed to be a purpose to it
- When you are frustrated with God or life and want to say so honestly instead of pretending patience
- When after voicing your protest you still want to ask humbly for closeness rather than walk away