Abhanga 4433
You can be right next to grace, nectar, or fortune and still starve, if you keep your own bag tied shut against receiving it.
The verse
तुझे म्हणों आम्हां । मग उणें पुरुषोत्तमा ॥१॥
ऐसा धर्म काय । अमृतानें मृत्यु होय ॥ध्रु.॥
कल्पवृक्षा तळीं । गांठी बांधलिया झोळी ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे परीस । सांपडल्या उपवास ॥३॥
Literal translation
Call-me-yours — no-uṇē-Puruṣōttama. Amrta-becomes-mrtyu — what-dharma. Under-kalpa-vrkṣa — bag-with-knots-tied. Tukā: pāris-found — yet-fasting.
What it means
A 3-verse paradox-of-being-near-but-empty text. If you call us yours — then would there be any deficiency, Puruṣōttamā? What rule is this — that by ambrosia death happens? Under the wish-tree, the bag with knots is tied. Tukā says: the touchstone has been found — and yet (I am) fasting. 3 paradox-images: - (1) Deficiency despite being-called-yours - (2) Mrtyu by amrta (death-from-ambrosia) - (3) Bag-with-knots-tied under-wish-tree (no-receptacle for wishes) - (4) Pāris-found yet-fasting (touchstone-found yet-no-gold-to-eat)
All four say: I'm near-everything-but-still-empty. Sharp self-diagnostic.
For someone today
Tukārām names a strange kind of suffering here: being close to everything good and still feeling empty. He asks God directly, if you call me yours, how can I still feel lacking? He wonders what kind of rule allows nectar itself to bring death instead of life. He pictures himself sitting right under the wish-fulfilling tree with his bag tied shut in knots, unable to receive anything from it, and finding the legendary touchstone that turns metal to gold, yet still going hungry. These images all point to the same ache, having access to grace but not actually letting yourself receive it.
मराठी: तुकाराम इथे एका विचित्र प्रकारच्या दुःखाचे वर्णन करतात, सगळे चांगले जवळ असूनही रिकामे वाटणे. ते देवाला थेट विचारतात, तू मला तुझा म्हणतोस, तरी मला उणीव का जाणवते? अमृतानेही मृत्यू व्हावा, हा कसला नियम आहे, असा प्रश्न ते करतात. ते स्वतःला कल्पवृक्षाखाली बसलेले पाहतात, पण झोळी गाठी बांधलेली असल्याने त्यातून काहीच घेता येत नाही, आणि परीस सापडूनही उपाशी राहावे लागते. ही सगळी प्रतिमा एकाच वेदनेकडे इशारा करतात, कृपा जवळ असूनही ती प्रत्यक्षात स्वीकारता न येणे.
Where this applies
- Tukārām's near-but-empty paradox-images canonical