Abhanga 87
This abhang is for the moment when you find yourself in a relationship — marriage, friendship, work-team, religious community — where the affective language doesn't match. Each person's good-faith gestures land as something else for the other. Tukaram's claim is structural: the strain grows in the belly of joy because each attempt at warmth produces misunderstanding, and the misunderstandings accumulate. The cure is not better-translation; it is praying for the right company (सज्जनांची संगति) and recognizing when the mismatch will not be bridged by effort. The abhang permits choosing good company — and not staying in mismatched company indefinitely.
The verse
कानडीनें केला मर्हाटा भ्रतार । एकाचें उत्तर एका न ये ॥१॥ तैसें मज नको करूं कमळापति । देई या संगति सज्जनांची ॥ध्रु.॥ तिनें पाचारिलें इल बा म्हणोन । येरु पळे आण जाली आतां ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे येर येरा जें विच्छिन्न । तेथें वाढे सीण सुखा पोटीं ॥३॥
Literal translation
English: A Kannada-speaking wife took a Marathi-speaking husband — neither's words land for the other. Don't do this to me, O Lord-of-the-Lotus — grant me the company of the good ones. She called "come, child!" (in Kannada); the husband ran (mistaking the words). Tuka says: where there is severance between two, the strain grows in the very belly of joy.
मराठी: कानडी (बायकोने) मराठी (नवरा) केला — एकाचं उत्तर एकाला कळत नाही. हे कमळापति, असं माझ्यावर करू नकोस; मला सज्जनांची संगती दे. तिने "इल बा" (ये बाळा) म्हणून बोलावलं; तो (नवरा) पळाला — आता आण जाली. तुकाराम म्हणतात — दोन्हीत जिथे विच्छिन्नता, तिथे सुखाच्या पोटातच सीण वाढतो.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| कानडीनें केला मर्हाटा भ्रतार | "the Kannada(-speaking) woman made a Marathi(-speaking) man her husband" |
| एकाचें उत्तर एका न ये | "neither's response makes sense to the other" |
| तैसें मज नको करूं कमळापति | "do not do this to me, O Husband-of-Lakshmi" (कमळापति = lotus-lord, Vishnu) |
| देई या संगति सज्जनांची | "grant me the company of the good ones" |
| तिनें पाचारिलें इल बा म्हणोन | "she called 'come, child!'" (इल बा = "come, child" — affectionate call) |
| येरु पळे आण जाली आतां | "the other (the husband) ran — (his) oath was now (broken)" (the man flees because he understood the call as an unfamiliar threat) |
| येर येरा जें विच्छिन्न | "where between-the-two there is severance" |
| तेथें वाढे सीण सुखा पोटीं | "there grows the strain — in the very belly of joy" |
What it means
A small comic-image abhang. The Kannada-Marathi mismatch is a precise picture of companionship mismatch: the woman's affectionate Kannada "il bā" (come, child) sounds threatening or strange to the Marathi-speaking husband, who runs. Tukaram uses this as a pleading-prayer: please don't put me in such a mismatch — give me the company of the good ones. The closing teaching: येर येरा जें विच्छिन्न, तेथें वाढे सीण सुखा पोटीं — where there's severance between two, the strain grows in the very belly of (what was supposed to be) joy. [T]
For someone today
This abhang is for the moment when you find yourself in a relationship — marriage, friendship, work-team, religious community — where the affective language doesn't match. Each person's good-faith gestures land as something else for the other. Tukaram's claim is structural: the strain grows in the belly of joy because each attempt at warmth produces misunderstanding, and the misunderstandings accumulate. The cure is not better-translation; it is praying for the right company (सज्जनांची संगति) and recognizing when the mismatch will not be bridged by effort. The abhang permits choosing good company — and not staying in mismatched company indefinitely.
मराठी: ही ओवी अशा क्षणासाठी जेव्हा तुम्ही नातं — लग्न, मैत्री, work-team, धार्मिक समुदाय — मध्ये असता जिथे भावनिक भाषा जुळत नाही. प्रत्येकाची चांगल्या भावनेची हालचाल दुसऱ्याला वेगळं वाटते. तुकारामांचा रचनात्मक दावा: सीण सुखाच्या पोटात वाढतो कारण प्रत्येक प्रेमळ प्रयत्न misunderstanding बनतो, आणि misunderstandings जमा होतात. उपाय better-translation नाही; सज्जनांची संगती मागणं — आणि ओळखणं की प्रयत्नाने ही mismatch भरून निघणार नाही. ओवी चांगली संगती निवडायची परवानगी देते — आणि mismatched संगतीत कायम न राहायची.
Where this applies
- Relationship where affective language doesn't match. Pray for right company; don't pretend bridging is working.
- Praying for satsanga. Note the specificity.
- Trying harder to bridge a mismatch. येर येरा विच्छिन्न. Sometimes the answer is removal.