Abhanga 670

A complete and unsparing confession of your worst faults, offered honestly and without excuse, is itself a valid way to come to God for refuge.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

A cāṇḍāḷa-cāṇḍāḷa-mahā-confession-list-of-faults-māhēra-of-six-foes-Tukyā-bandhu abhang. Mahā-confession register, perhaps the strongest in Sakal Sant Gatha. Seven verses of confession plus one śaraṇa-line:

1. Deva, मी cāṇḍāḷa-cāṇḍāḷa — म्हणतां वेळ — bhū-maṇḍaḷ-वर दुसरा नाही. Opening-superlative-cāṇḍāḷa-claim. Calling-myself-cāṇḍāḷa-takes-time and there's no equal in the world.

2. जन्मा-पासून असत्य-कर्म — सत्य-ācaraṇa स्वप्नीं नाही — avaguṇa-खाणी. Lifelong-untruth-claim. Since birth, untruth; never even-dreamed of truth-conduct; pure-mine of faults.

3. Bhakti-दया-कथा कानी न-साहवे — viṣaya-वेथा — अधमाहुन-अधम. Anti-bhakti-listening-claim. Cannot-tolerate even hearing aboutbhakti-dayā-kathā; onlyviṣayaobsession.

4. कामादि-६ — माहेर-घर — paropakāra-वैरी. Māhēra-of-six-foes-claim. I am themāhēra-house(mother's-house, native-place, deepest-home) ofkāma-krōdha-dambha-ahankāra-garva-tāṭhā-mada-matsara(the eight foes — six standard + dambha + tāṭhā); paropakāra (beneficence) is my-enemy. (Themāhēra-image applied to faults is striking: faults treat me as their natural mother's-house.)

5. निंदा-द्वेष-घात-विश्वास — आळस नाही — santa-उपहास — अभक्ष-भिक्षलें. Diligent-in-evil-claim. No idleness in slander-hatred-betrayal-treachery; didsanta-upahāsa(mockery-of-saints) what-shouldn't-be-done; begged-and-ate forbidden-food.

6. पितृ-वचन-नाही — para-द्वार-para-धन-ध्यान — बोलण्या-न-योग्य — dāsī-gamana. Family-and-sexual-confession-claim. Didn't keep father's-word; always thinking-of-others'-doors-and-wealth; un-utterable things happened, includingdāsī-gamana(going-with-the-female-servant — a transgression). (This is unusual specific-confession of sexual-transgression with a dāsī.)

7. Kāyā-मन-वाणी-इंद्रिय — सर्व-पाप-राशी — Tukyā-bandhu: Hṛṣīkēśī शरण. All-faculties-pāpa-and-śaraṇa-claim. With body-mind-speech-organs all together — heap-of-all-pāpas; Tukyā-bandhu says: such-as-I-am, I cameśaraṇatoHṛṣīkēśī. Total-faculties-pāpa-and-śaraṇa-anyway.

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For someone today

This is one of Tukaram's harshest self-confessions, and he does not soften a single line. He says he has lied since birth and never even dreamed of living truthfully, that he cannot bear to hear about devotion or kindness because he is too caught up in his own cravings, and that anger, pride, envy, and jealousy feel like his true home rather than something foreign to him. He admits to mocking saints, breaking his word to his father, coveting what belongs to others, and even a specific sexual betrayal he can barely name. And then, without any transition or excuse, he simply says: this is who I am, and I have come to you for refuge anyway. The lesson is not that confession earns forgiveness through effort, but that total honesty about your worst self is itself a way of approaching what is beyond you, no cleanup required first.

मराठी: तुकारामांची ही सर्वात कठोर आत्मकबुली आहे, आणि ते एकही ओळ मऊ करत नाहीत. ते म्हणतात की जन्मापासून खोटे बोलत आलो आहे आणि खरे जगणे स्वप्नातही कधी पाहिले नाही, भक्ती किंवा दया याविषयी ऐकणेही सहन होत नाही कारण मी स्वतःच्याच वासनांमध्ये गुरफटलेला आहे, आणि क्रोध, गर्व, मत्सर, हेवा हे माझे परके नसून माझे खरे घरच वाटतात. संतांची थट्टा केली, वडिलांचा शब्द मोडला, परक्याच्या मालमत्तेवर डोळा ठेवला आणि एक विशिष्ट लैंगिक अपराधही केला जो सांगणेही कठीण आहे, हे सर्व ते कबूल करतात. आणि मग कोणतेही स्पष्टीकरण किंवा सबब न देता ते म्हणतात, मी असाच आहे, तरीही मी तुझ्या शरणी आलो आहे. या ओवीचा अर्थ असा नाही की कबुलीने मेहनतीने क्षमा मिळते, तर आपल्या सर्वात वाईट स्वरूपाबद्दलची संपूर्ण प्रामाणिकता हीच स्वतःहून पलीकडे जाण्याचा एक मार्ग आहे, आधी काही शुद्ध होण्याची गरज नाही.

Where this applies

• Cāṇḍāḷa-cāṇḍāḷa. Superlative.
• Lifelong-untruth. Asatya-karma.
• Māhēra of foes. Faults-as-home.
• Dāsī-gamana. Sexual-confession.
• Hṛṣīkēśī śaraṇa. Final-refuge.

Related verses

• Abhanga 2387 — Accept whatever life brings with reverence, and place the burden on God rather than carryi
• Abhanga 2494 — Living in devotion turns an ordinary day into a festival and removes the fear of birth and
• Abhanga 2540 — Even the smallest, most helpless creature that cries out to God in danger is sheltered and
• Abhanga 4581 — Tukaram closes his songs by confessing his own unworthiness and boldness, offering everyth