Abhanga 1796
Total devotion doesn't require fully understanding the one you love, and giving everything away renews your capacity to love rather than draining it.
The verse
चित्त तुझ्या पायीं । ठेवुनि जालों उतराईं ॥१॥ परि तूं खोटा केशीराजा । अंतपार न कळे तुझा ॥ध्रु.॥ आम्ही सर्वस्वें उदार । तुज देऊनियां धीर ॥२॥ इंद्रियांची होळी । संवसार दिला बळी ॥३॥ न पडे विसर । तुझा आम्हां निरंतर ॥४॥ प्रेम एकासाटी । तुका म्हणे न वेचे गांठी ॥५॥
Literal translation
Chitta at your feet, having placed, I have crossed over. But you are khōṭā Kēśīrāja — your antapāra is not understood. We are wholly-generous, having given you patience. The bonfire of indriyas — samsāra given as bali. No forgetting falls — yours of us continuously. Prēma for-the-sake-of-the-one — Tuka says — the gāṇṭhī is not spent.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| चित्त तुझ्या पायीं | "the chitta — at your feet" |
| ठेवुनि जालों उतराईं | "having placed — I have crossed-over (utarā'īm)" |
| परि तूं खोटा केशीराजा | "but — you are khōṭā (= crooked / rascal) — Kēśīrāja" |
| अंतपार न कळे तुझा | "your antapāra (end-and-far-end) — is not understood" |
| आम्ही सर्वस्वें उदार | "we are wholly-generous" |
| तुज देऊनियां धीर | "having given you — patience / steadiness" |
| इंद्रियांची होळी | "the holy of indriyas (= the bonfire of the senses)" |
| संवसार दिला बळी | "samsāra — given as bali (sacrificial-offering)" |
| न पडे विसर | "no forgetting falls" |
| तुझा आम्हां निरंतर | "yours of us — continuously" |
| प्रेम एकासाटी | "prēma — for-the-sake-of-the-one" |
| तुका म्हणे न वेचे गांठी | "Tuka says — the gāṇṭhī (knot / stored-store) — is not spent" |
What it means
Khōṭā-Kēśīrāja + we-have-given-you-patience abhang. A playful but determined-bhakta complaint: I have given everything, but you are still crooked-and-unfathomable.
The opening: citta tujhyā pāyīm — ṭhēvuni jālōm utarā'īm — chitta at your feet, having placed, I have crossed-over. Utarā'īm = crossed-over, gone-across (= the samsāra-crossing accomplished). I have placed-the-chitta-at-your-feet and crossed-over.
The complaint: pari tūm khōṭā Kēśīrājā — antapāra na kaḷē tujhā — but you are khōṭā Kēśīrāja — your antapāra is not understood. Khōṭā = crooked, false, rascal (= playfully-accusatory); Kēśīrāja = Lord with the locks (= Kṛṣṇa); antapāra = end-and-far-end / extent. The bhakta calls Kṛṣṇa khōṭā — you-are-crooked, your-extent-is-not-knowable. (= I have given-everything, and yet you-remain-elusive.)
The generosity-line: āmhī sarvasvē udāra — tuja dē'ūniyām dhīra — we are wholly-generous, having given you patience. Brilliant inversion: not-the-Lord-giving-the-bhakta-patience; but-the-bhakta-giving-the-Lord-patience (= waiting for him, putting-up with his crookedness). We are the generous-ones; we have given-you our patience.
The sacrifice-line: indriyāñcī hōḷī — samvasāra dilā baḷī — the bonfire of the indriyas — samsāra given as bali. Hōḷī = bonfire (the spring-festival fire); bali = sacrificial-offering. The indriyas (senses) are now-a-bonfire; samsāra-itself has-been-given as bali. (= all-internal-and-external is consumed-and-offered.)
The continuous-remembrance line: na paḍē visara — tujhā āmhām nirantara — no forgetting falls — yours of us, continuously. No forgetting-lapses for-us; you are nirantara-ours.
The closing: prēma ēkā-sāṭīm — Tukā mhaṇē na vēcē gāṇṭhī — prēma for-the-sake-of-the-one — Tuka says — the gāṇṭhī is not spent. Ēkā-sāṭīm = for-the-sake-of-the-one (= for one and only one); gāṇṭhī = the knot / stored-store (= the bhakta's-prēma-store); na vēcē = is not spent. The prēma is for-the-One-only; the store is inexhaustible. (= bhakti-rasa is self-replenishing.)
This abhang has the playful-khōṭā-Kēśīrāja vocative — Tuka calls Kṛṣṇa a rascal, but with-affection. The bhakta-Lord-banter register. (Pairs with 1788's bhakta-challenges-deva.)
[T]
For someone today
For today: I have placed my heart at your feet and crossed over. But you are a rascal, Keshiraja — I still can't fathom the true extent of who you are. We have been wholly generous — we're the ones who have given you our patience. Our senses have become a bonfire, our whole worldly life offered up as a sacrifice, and still we never forget you — you stay with us without a break. Tuka says: this love is for you and you alone, and its store is never spent.
मराठी: आजसाठी: मी माझे चित्त तुझ्या पायी ठेवले आहे आणि पैलतीर गाठला आहे. पण तू खोडकर आहेस, केशीराजा — तुझा खरा अंतपार अजूनही मला उमगत नाही. आम्ही सर्वस्वे उदार आहोत — आम्हीच तुला आमचा धीर देऊन बसलो आहोत. आमच्या इंद्रियांची होळी झाली आहे, संपूर्ण संसार बळी म्हणून दिला आहे, तरीही आम्ही तुला कधीच विसरत नाही — तू सतत आमच्यासोबत असतोस. तुका म्हणतो: हे प्रेम फक्त एकट्या तुझ्यासाठीच आहे, आणि त्याचा साठा कधीच संपत नाही.
Where this applies
- When you love someone deeply but still find their true nature hard to fully understand or predict
- When you feel you've given everything to a relationship or cause and wonder if your patience is even noticed
- When you worry that giving so much of yourself will leave you with nothing left to give
- When you catch yourself teasing someone you deeply love out of affection rather than real complaint