Abhanga 2223

Some relationships run on a logic that seems backwards, where withdrawal draws pursuit and kindness can still provoke anger.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

Running-away-but-following + the-walk-is-backwards abhang. Thirteenth abhang of the niḍrā-cluster.

The opening — paradox-of-conduct: māgitalyāsa kara pasarī — paḷatām bharī vākhatī — when asked, extend the hand — running away, fill the gap by following back. When-asked, extend-the-hand (= give); running-away, fill-the-gap by-following-back (= paradoxical-behavior: act normally when-requested but-pursue when-fleeing).

The secret-known: kāya āmhī nēṇōm varma — kēlā śrama nēṇatām — do we not know the secret — the toil was done without knowing. Do-we-not-know the-secret? The-toil was-done without-(my)-knowing.

The anger-and-following: bōlatām barē yētām rāgā — kaṭhīṇa lāgā māgēm-māgēm — speaking well — coming into anger — hard, follow after-after. Speaking-well — yet anger-comes; hard-following after-after.

The closing — backwards-walk: Tukā mhaṇē yēthē bōlī — asē chālī uphurāṭī — Tuka says: here, the speech — the walk is backwards. Uphurāṭī = backwards, inverted. Here the-speech (= the language-of-this-relationship), the walk is-backwards (= what's-said and-what's-done are-inverted). The bhakta describing the upside-down nature of-the-divine-relationship during-the-niḍrā.

[T]

For someone today

For today: when asked, extend the hand — running away, fill by following back; do we not know the secret — toil done without knowing; speaking well — coming into anger — hard, follow after; Tuka says — here the walk is backwards.

Where this applies

• When you notice that pushing someone away only makes them chase you harder
• When you realize you've put in real effort without fully understanding why
• When speaking kindly to someone still somehow provokes their anger
• When a relationship seems to work in reverse of ordinary logic, and you just have to accept it

Related verses

• Abhanga 2448 — The easiest path to God is repeating divine names with love at home, right where you are,
• Abhanga 2467 — What looks like your whole world, like a fig to the insect living inside it, is only a tin
• Abhanga 2494 — Living in devotion turns an ordinary day into a festival and removes the fear of birth and
• Abhanga 4481 — Tukaram promises that sincerely calling on the Lord's name, knowingly or unknowingly, with