Abhanga 2684
The verse offers the honest report of a difficult mid-stage in practice. I will come to your Name; I tried to hold firm; distress arose anyway; the world disappointed me, and out of that disappointment bhāva does not arise; you are my witness. The bhakti-claim is that nirāśa (disappointment) is itself an obstacle to bhāva — you cannot generate genuine feeling-orientation on top of disappointment. The petition is to be witnessed in this honest report, not to be lifted out of it. The witnessing itself is sometimes enough.
The verse
येइल तुझ्या नामा । जाल म्हणों पुरुषोत्तमा ॥१॥
धीर राहिलों धरूनि । त्रास उपजला मनीं ॥ध्रु.॥
जगा कथा नांव । निराशेनें नुपजे भाव ॥२॥
तुम्ही साक्षी कीं गा । तुका म्हणे पांडुरंगा ॥३॥
Literal translation
I shall come to your Name; I will say Puruṣōttamā. I stayed firm holding (the resolve); but trāsa (distress) arose in mind. The world's kathā-nāva (story-name) — by nirāśa (disappointment), bhāva does not arise. You are the witness — Tukā says — Pāṇḍurangā.
What it means
A short witness-prayer. Yēīla tujhyā nāmā — jāla mhaṇōm Puruṣōttamā — I shall come to your Name — I will say Puruṣōttamā. The bhakta declares the intention.
The dhrūpada is the honest report: dhīra rāhilōm dharūnī — trāsa upajalā manīm — I stayed firm holding (the resolve); but distress arose in mind. The bhakta has held dhīra (firmness) but trāsa (distress) has emerged. The holding has not prevented the distress.
The second verse names the structural diagnosis: jagā kathā nāva — nirāśēnē nupajē bhāva — the world's story has been named; by nirāśa (disappointment), bhāva (feeling-orientation) does not arise. The disappointment-with-the-world has been named; but disappointment is itself an obstacle — bhāva does not arise from nirāśa. The bhakta cannot manufacture bhāva on top of nirāśa.
The close: tumhī sākṣī kī gā — Pāṇḍurangā — you yourself are my witness — Pāṇḍurangā. The bhakta does not ask for relief; he asks the Lord to witness the actual condition: I tried to hold firm, distress arose, the world disappointed me, and bhāva will not come.
For someone today
The verse offers the honest report of a difficult mid-stage in practice. I will come to your Name; I tried to hold firm; distress arose anyway; the world disappointed me, and out of that disappointment bhāva does not arise; you are my witness. The bhakti-claim is that nirāśa (disappointment) is itself an obstacle to bhāva — you cannot generate genuine feeling-orientation on top of disappointment. The petition is to be witnessed in this honest report, not to be lifted out of it. The witnessing itself is sometimes enough.
मराठी: साधनेतील एका कठीण मध्यावस्थेचा प्रामाणिक अहवाल हा अभंग देतो. मी तुझ्या नामाशी येईन; मी ठाम राहण्याचा प्रयत्न केला; तरीही मनात त्रास उपजला; जगाने निराश केले, आणि त्या निराशेतून भाव उपजत नाही; तूच माझा साक्षी आहेस. भक्तीचा दावा असा आहे की निराशा हीच भावाच्या उपजण्याला अडथळा ठरते — निराशेवर खरा भाव उभा करता येत नाही. या प्रामाणिक अहवालाचा साक्षी व्हावे, यासाठीच ही विनवणी आहे — त्यातून बाहेर काढून घ्यावे यासाठी नाही. कधीकधी नुसते साक्षी असणेच पुरेसे असते.
Where this applies
- Honest mid-stage protest when holding-firm has not prevented distress
- Recognizing that nirāśa (disappointment) blocks bhāva from arising
- Asking the protector to be the witness of one's actual condition
- The petition that is for witnessing, not for solution