Abhanga 2684
I shall come to your Name; I will say Puruṣōttamā.
The verse
येइल तुझ्या नामा । जाल म्हणों पुरुषोत्तमा ॥१॥
धीर राहिलों धरूनि । त्रास उपजला मनीं ॥ध्रु.॥
जगा कथा नांव । निराशेनें नुपजे भाव ॥२॥
तुम्ही साक्षी कीं गा । तुका म्हणे पांडुरंगा ॥३॥
Literal translation
I shall come to your Name; I will say Puruṣōttamā. I stayed firm holding (the resolve); but trāsa (distress) arose in mind. The world's kathā-nāva (story-name) — by nirāśa (disappointment), bhāva does not arise. You are the witness — Tukā says — Pāṇḍurangā.
What it means
A short witness-prayer. Yēīla tujhyā nāmā — jāla mhaṇōm Puruṣōttamā — I shall come to your Name — I will say Puruṣōttamā. The bhakta declares the intention.
The dhrūpada is the honest report: dhīra rāhilōm dharūnī — trāsa upajalā manīm — I stayed firm holding (the resolve); but distress arose in mind. The bhakta has held dhīra (firmness) but trāsa (distress) has emerged. The holding has not prevented the distress.
The second verse names the structural diagnosis: jagā kathā nāva — nirāśēnē nupajē bhāva — the world's story has been named; by nirāśa (disappointment), bhāva (feeling-orientation) does not arise. The disappointment-with-the-world has been named; but disappointment is itself an obstacle — bhāva does not arise from nirāśa. The bhakta cannot manufacture bhāva on top of nirāśa.
The close: tumhī sākṣī kī gā — Pāṇḍurangā — you yourself are my witness — Pāṇḍurangā. The bhakta does not ask for relief; he asks the Lord to witness the actual condition: I tried to hold firm, distress arose, the world disappointed me, and bhāva will not come.
For someone today
The verse offers the honest report of a difficult mid-stage in practice. I will come to your Name; I tried to hold firm; distress arose anyway; the world disappointed me, and out of that disappointment bhāva does not arise; you are my witness. The bhakti-claim is that nirāśa (disappointment) is itself an obstacle to bhāva — you cannot generate genuine feeling-orientation on top of disappointment. The petition is to be witnessed in this honest report, not to be lifted-out-of-it. The witnessing itself is sometimes enough.
Where this applies
- Honest mid-stage protest when holding-firm has not prevented distress
- Recognizing that nirāśa (disappointment) blocks bhāva from arising
- Asking the protector to be the witness of one's actual condition
- The petition that is for witnessing, not for solution