Abhanga 2932
Hold on to your devotion without embarrassment even if you feel unwanted, because there is nowhere better to go and your commitment does not depend on feeling deserving.
The verse
तुम्ही कांटाळलां तरी । आम्हां न सोडणें हरी ॥१॥
जावें कवणिया ठाया । सांगा विनवितों पायां ॥ध्रु.॥
केली जिवा साटी । आतां सुखें लागा पाठी ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे ठाव । न सोडणें हा चि भाव ॥३॥
Literal translation
Tumhī kāmṭāḷalām tarī — (even) if you have grownkāmṭāḷa(tired, irritated) (of me); āmhām na sōḍaṇe Harī — we will not let go of Hari. Jāve kavaṇiyā ṭhāyā — where shall we go?; sāngā vinavitōm pāyām — tell — I plead at (your) feet. Kelī jivā sāṭī — (I have) staked life; ātām sukhe lāgā pāṭhī — now, comfortably, attach (yourself) to (my) back (= you-now-follow-me/be-with-me-comfortably). Tukā says: ṭhāva — (this) place; na sōḍaṇe hā chi bhāva — not letting go — this (very) is thebhāva(attitude).
What it means
A short canonical bhakta-defiant-clinging verse. Tumhī kāmṭāḷalām tarī — āmhām na sōḍaṇe Harī — even if you are tired of (me) — we won't let go of Hari. The opening-defiant-position: the Lord may-grow-tired-of-the-bhakta, but the bhakta-doesn't-grow-tired-of-the-Lord.
Jāve kavaṇiyā ṭhāyā — sāngā vinavitōm pāyām — where shall we go — please tell, pleading at feet. The pragmatic-protest: there's nowhere-else to go.
Kelī jivā sāṭī — ātām sukhe lāgā pāṭhī — staked life — now comfortably-attach to (my) back. The radical-image: jīvā-sāṭī (life-staked) — I have already-bet my-life on this; (so) you (Lord) might-as-well comfortably-attach-yourself-to-my-back (be-permanently-with-me).
The close: Tukā mhaṇe ṭhāva — na sōḍaṇe hā chi bhāva — this place — not-letting-go — this very is the bhāva. The position-claim: the bhakta's-bhāva is to-not-let-go-of-this-place.
For someone today
Even if you've grown tired of me, Tukaram says to Hari, I still won't let go of you. Where else could I possibly go? Tell me, he pleads, falling at your feet. I've already staked my whole life on this — so you might as well settle in comfortably and stay close to me now. Refusing to let go of this place, this bond, is itself Tukaram's entire attitude of devotion.
मराठी: जरी तू माझा कंटाळा केलास, तुकाराम हरीला म्हणतात, तरी मी तुला सोडणार नाही. मी आणखी कुठे जाणार? सांग, ते तुझ्या पायांशी विनवणी करतात. मी माझे संपूर्ण आयुष्य आधीच पणाला लावले आहे — म्हणून आता आरामात माझ्या जवळ राहा. हे स्थान, हे नाते सोडून न देणे, हाच तुकारामांचा खरा भक्तिभाव आहे.
Where this applies
- When you feel like you have failed at your practice and wonder if you deserve to keep going
- When you feel distant from God or from your own values and are tempted to just give up
- When you need permission to keep showing up even without feeling deserving