Abhanga 3438
When you cannot fix or transform yourself alone, it is honest and right to ask for a deeper power to gather you up and change you.
The verse
भांडवल माझें लटिक्याचे गांठी । उदीम तो तुटी यावी हा चि ॥१॥
कैसी तुझी वाट पाहों कोणा तोंडें । भोंवतीं किं रे भांडे गर्भवास ॥ध्रु.॥
चहूं खाणीचिया रंगलोंसें संगें । सुष्ट दुष्ट अंगें धरूनियां ॥२॥
बहुतांचे बहु पालटलों सळे । बहु आला काळें रंग अंगा ॥३॥
उकलूनि नये दावितां अंतर । घडिचा पदर सारूनियां ॥४॥
तुका म्हणे करीं गोंवळें यासाटीं । आपल्या पालटीं संगें देवा ॥५॥
Literal translation
Bhāṇḍavala mājhe laṭikyāñce gāṇṭhī — my capital is the purse of the false; udīma tō tuṭī yāvī hā chi — the business — only-this loss-to-come. Kaisī tujhī vāṭa pāhōm kōṇā tōṇḍe — with whose mouth (shall I) wait-for your vāṭa; bhōmvatīm kīm re bhāṇḍe garbhavāsa — around (are) vessels of garbhavāsa. Chahūm khāṇīñciyā rangalōmse sange — (I have) become-mixed with chahūm-khāṇī-sanga; suṣṭa duṣṭa ange dharūnīyām — taking-on suṣṭa-and-duṣṭa limbs. Bahutāmñce bahu pālaṭalōm saḷe — (I) have-changed many times by many; bahu ālā kāḷe ranga angā — the dark-color has come-on the body. Ukalūnī naye dāvitām antara — (I) cannot unfold-and-show the antara; ghaḍichā padara sārūnīyām — concealing the time's-padara. Tukā mhaṇe karīm gōmvaḷe yāsāṭīm — Tukā says: do the gōmvaḷaṇa for-this; āpalyā pālaṭīm sange Devā — by your own pālaṭa-sanga, Devā.
What it means
A 5-verse self-confession + redemption-petition by Tukārām.
The bhakta-confesses: my-capital is-the-purse-of-the-false; only-loss-to-come. Vessels-of-rebirth-around-me. I've-been-mixed-with-all-4-birth-realms; taken-on-good-and-bad-limbs. The-dark-color came-on-body. I-can't-unfold-and-show-my-inner-state; I-hide-the-layer-of-this-time.
The petition: do-the-gōmvaḷa (round-up/gathering); by-your-own-pālaṭa-sanga (changing-association/redemptive-touch), Devā. Only-the-Lord's-changing-touch can-redeem-this-mixed-and-dyed bhakta.
The chahūm-khāṇī (four-birth-categories: jarāyu-aṇḍa-sveda-udbhij, viviparous-oviparous-sweat-sprout) is the canonical-Indic-fourfold of-rebirths.
For someone today
Tukārām's self-confession and petition. My capital is the purse of falsity; the only business is bearing-loss. With whose mouth shall I wait for your path? — vessels of wombs (are) all-around. I'm mixed with the company of all four birth-realms — taking-on good and bad limbs. I've been changed many times by many; the dark-color has come on (my) body. I cannot unfold and show (my) inner-state; I keep concealing the layer of this-time. Do the gathering for this — by your own changing-touch, Devā. The verse permits the bhakta's confession of being mixed through many births and associations, asking for the Lord's redemptive touch.
मराठी: तुकाराम येथे स्वतःची प्रामाणिक कबुली देतात आणि विनवणी करतात. माझे भांडवल खोट्याची गाठोडी आहे; या व्यापारात फक्त तोटाच वाट्याला येतो. कोणत्या तोंडाने मी तुझी वाट पाहू? — भोवती फक्त गर्भवासाची भांडी दिसतात. चारही योनींच्या संगतीत मी मिसळून गेलो, बरे-वाईट अंग धारण करत राहिलो. अनेकांनी मला अनेकदा बदलले, आणि काळाचा रंग अंगावर चढला. माझे अंतरंग उलगडून दाखवता येत नाही, या क्षणीचा पडदा मी लपवत राहतो. म्हणून देवा, तूच माझी बांधणी कर — तुझ्या स्वतःच्या संगतीने मला बदलून टाक. अनेक जन्मांच्या आणि संगतींच्या मिश्रणातून आलेली ही कबुली आहे, आणि त्यातून देवाच्या उद्धारक स्पर्शाची याचना आहे.
Where this applies
- When you realize the things you've invested your life in turn out to be worthless or false
- When you feel lost about how to wait faithfully during a difficult, uncertain time
- When years of mixed influences, good and bad, have left you feeling changed in ways you can't undo alone
- When you struggle to be fully honest and open about your inner self, hiding instead of showing it