Abhanga 36
The person who weaponizes illness/weakness to extract care has been clear-eyed about the manipulation all along. Tuka's verdict: 'alive, you've made a donkey of me; once dead, you'll send me to hell.' Don't be the manipulator. Don't be the donkey either.
The verse
सुखें वोळंब दावी गोहा । माझें दुःख नेणा पाहा ॥१॥ आवडीचा मारिला वेडा । होय होय कैसा म्हणे भिडा ॥ध्रु.॥ निपट मज न चले अन्न । पायली गहूं सांजा तीन ॥२॥ गेले वारीं तुम्हीं आणिली साकर । सातदी गेली साडेदहा शेर ॥३॥ अखंड मज पोटाची व्यथा । दुधभात साकर तूप पथ्या ॥४॥ दो पाहरा मज लहरी येती । शुद्ध नाहीं पडे सुपती ॥५॥ नीज नये घाली फुलें । जवळीं न साहती मुलें ॥६॥ अंगी चंदन लावितें भाळीं । सदा शूळ माझे कपाळीं ॥७॥ हाड गळोनि आलें मास । माझें दुःख तुम्हां नेणवे कैसें ॥८॥ तुका म्हणे जिता गाढव केला । मेलियावरि नरका नेला ॥९॥
Literal translation
English (paraphrased — voice of the wife/caregiver narrating, with Tukaram's framing in last verse): Comfortably he displays his deceit and his ploy: "None of you understand my suffering — look at me!" The man is struck mad by his own appetite, going yes-yes as if reluctantly embarrassed. "Ordinary food doesn't go down — I need three servings of wheat porridge. Last week you brought sugar — within seven days, ten and a halfśersare gone. I have constant stomach trouble — only milk-rice, sugar, and ghee will do. In the afternoon I get tremors; my sleep is broken. I cannot sleep; lay flowers; the children cannot come near me. Sandalwood paste on my forehead — yet a constant pain in my forehead. The flesh is falling from my bones — how can you not see my suffering?" Tuka says: alive, he has made a donkey of me; once dead, he'll have me sent to hell.
मराठी (आधुनिक): सुखाने तो वोळंबा दाखवतो, गोहा खेळतो: "माझं दुःख तुम्ही पाहत नाही!" आवडीनेच मारलेला वेडा, होय-होय असं भीड पाडल्यासारखं म्हणतो. "माझ्या तोंडात अन्न जात नाही — मला पायलीभर गव्हाची सांजा, तीन वेळा. गेल्या आठवड्यात साखर आणली — सात दिवसांत साडेदहा शेर गेली. सतत पोटाचा त्रास — दूधभात, साखर, तूप हेच पथ्य. दुपारी तरंगा येतात; नीज लागत नाही. झोपायचं नाही — फुलं घालायची; मुलं जवळ सहन होत नाहीत. कपाळावर चंदन लावते — पण सतत डोकेदुखी. हाडं गळून मांस आलं — माझं दुःख तुम्हाला कसं समजत नाही?" तुकाराम म्हणतात — जिवंत असताना मला गाढव केलं; मेल्यावर नरकात पाठवेल.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| सुखें वोळंब दावी गोहा | "comfortably he displays his deceit (वोळंब = pretense), his game (गोहा = ploy)" |
| माझें दुःख नेणा पाहा | "look — none of you understand my suffering!" (the manipulator's voice) |
| आवडीचा मारिला वेडा | "he's struck by his own desire — he's gone foolish" |
| होय होय कैसा म्हणे भिडा | "how he says 'yes, yes' as if forced/embarrassed" |
| निपट मज न चले अन्न | "ordinary food doesn't go down for me" |
| पायली गहूं सांजा तीन | "(I need) one pāyali of wheat porridge, three (servings)" |
| दुधभात साकर तूप पथ्या | "milk-rice, sugar, ghee — that's my prescribed diet" |
| दो पाहरा मज लहरी येती | "in the afternoon I get tremors / waves" |
| जिता गाढव केला | "while alive he made me a donkey" |
| मेलियावरि नरका नेला | "and once dead he'll have me sent to hell" |
What it means
Tonal shift alert: this is Tukaram's social-satire register, not his devotional register. He has a substantial corpus of comic/critical abhangs that observe and skewer specific human types — the manipulator, the hypocritical brahmin, the false guru, the swindler. 0036 is the first such we encounter in the sequence. The voice in verses 1-8 is the manipulator's (or the wife's reportage of the manipulator's complaints, with sly mimicry); verse 9 is Tukaram's verdict: जिता गाढव केला, मेलियावरि नरका नेला — while alive made me a donkey; once dead, will have me sent to hell. [T] [Tradition]
The portrait is precise and cruel. The manipulator's "illness" has very specific symptom-requirements (only milk-rice, sugar, ghee) — the specificity gives away the strategy. Real illness has variable presentations; manipulated illness has a curiously consistent diet that aligns with the most-desired foods. The verse counts the sugar consumed (ten and a half śers in seven days) — Tukaram is making the math visible. [T]
For someone today
This abhang is the verse for the moment when you are caring for someone and have begun to suspect that the caregiving is being exploited. The diagnostic Tukaram offers is concrete: does the "illness" require very specific symptom-relief that aligns suspiciously with the desired indulgence? Real chronic illness usually doesn't have this precision. Manipulated illness often does. The exhaustion of the caregiver — जिता गाढव केला — while alive he has made me a donkey — is what Tukaram is naming with sharp humor.
The two-sided teaching: don't be the manipulator (the verdict — नरका नेला — is harsh). Don't be the donkey either. Recognizing the pattern is the first step out of it. The recognition does not require cruelty toward the manipulator; it requires only that you stop pretending you don't see what you're seeing.
मराठी: ही ओवी अशा क्षणासाठी आहे जेव्हा तुम्ही कुणाची काळजी घेत आहात आणि तुम्हाला शंका येऊ लागली आहे की त्या काळजीचा शोषण होत आहे. तुकाराम जो diagnostic देतात तो concrete आहे: "आजार" ला अशा specific गोष्टी लागतात का — ज्या संशयास्पदपणे आवडीच्या जुळतात? खरे दीर्घ आजार सहसा अशी precision नसते. manipulated आजार अनेकदा असतो. काळजी घेणाऱ्याची थकवा — जिता गाढव केला — हेच तुकाराम तीक्ष्ण विनोदाने नाव देतायत.
दोन्ही बाजूंची शिकवण: manipulator बनू नका (verdict — नरका नेला — कठोर आहे). गाढवही बनू नका. नमुना ओळखणं हीच पहिली पायरी. ओळखणं manipulator बद्दल क्रूरतेची मागणी करत नाही; फक्त "मी जे बघतो ते बघत नाही" हे ढोंग बंद करायचं असतं.
Where this applies
- When you are caring for someone whose 'illness' has very specific symptom-requirements (only this food, only this medicine, only this attention) — Tukaram's diagnostic applies. Notice the specificity.
- When you've watched someone weaponize weakness in a relationship. The recognition is allowed. जिता गाढव केला is the line.
- When you yourself notice you're playing the fragile card. Stop. The verdict in verse 9 is for the manipulator, not the manipulated. Don't be on the wrong side of it.