Abhanga 190

This abhang names a threshold-crossing moment in any deep-bhakti / deep-love / deep-engagement. After enough fullness has been received, certain things become no-longer-possible:

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

A post-fullness commitment abhang — the deepest declaration in the gopa-comrade cluster. Five claims:

1. धालों धणीवरी — आतां न लगे शिदोरी — we are full to satisfaction; no need for the tiffin-bag now. The bhakta has had enough. The shidori (tiffin-bag / food-pack of 185 — I'll carry your bhāra-shidorī) is no longer needed. The bounded-supply of 189 has done its work; the bhakta is full.

2. नये क्षणभरी आतां यासि विसंबों — won't forget him for even a moment now. Post-fullness, the forgetting-mode is closed. The bhakta has crossed the threshold beyond which forgetting is no longer possible.

3. खेळ मांडूं रानीं — बैसवूं गोठणीं — न लगे जावें घरा — let's set up the game in the forest, seat (the cows) in the cow-pen, no need to go home. The dwelling-ground shifts. Home (the prior dwelling) is no longer the right ground. The forest (the wild, the open, the with-Krishna) is now home. Round-trips canceled.

4. सज्जन सोयरा मायबाप तूं आम्हां — friend-kin-mother-father — you are to us. Krishna is all four relational-roles simultaneously. The plural-relations of the prior life collapse into one.

5. पाहाणें ते वाट मागें पुढें राहिली — the watching of the path — back-and-forth — is left behind. The vāṭa-pāhaṇē (path-watching, anxious-checking, back-and-forth) is left behind. Post-fullness, the anxious-monitoring mode dies. [T]

This is the structural climax of the gopa-cluster: 164 set up the kālā-feast; 165 invited; 166-185 worked through the leelā; 190 names the post-feast irreversible commitment. There is no going home from this kālā.

For someone today

This abhang names a threshold-crossing moment in any deep-bhakti / deep-love / deep-engagement. After enough fullness has been received, certain things become no-longer-possible:

1. The tiffin-bag is no longer needed. You stop carrying-supplies-for-the-other / carrying-supplies-for-yourself-in-case-this-doesn't-work-out. The bag is put down.

2. Forgetting becomes impossible. Post-fullness, the visambo (forget) mode does not return. Not by discipline — by threshold-crossing. The forgetting was prevented by the fullness having been complete.

3. The dwelling-ground shifts. Home (the prior ground, the inherited-arrangement) is no longer the right ground. The with-Krishna ground — forest, cow-pen, open-field — is now home. Round-trips between the two are canceled.

4. The plural-relations collapse into one. What was friend-here, kin-there, mother-father-elsewhere, deity-in-the-temple — collapses into you-are-all-of-these. Don't worry about which relation it is; it is all of them.

5. Anxious-monitoring dies. पाहाणें ते वाट मागें पुढें राहिली. The checking-back-and-forth mode — is this real, is this lasting, is this enough — stays behind. Not suppressed; outgrown.

For today: notice when these markers appear. They mean a threshold has been crossed. Don't try to return to the prior arrangement; चुकलिया येरझारा — the round-trips are canceled.

मराठी: ही ओवी कोणत्याही deep-bhakti / deep-love / deep-engagement मधला threshold-crossing moment नाव सांगते. पुरेशी fullness मिळाल्यावर काही गोष्टी no-longer-possible होतात:

1. शिदोरी नको. दुसऱ्यासाठी supplies / हे न झालं तर पर्यायी supplies घेऊन जाणं थांबतं. पिशवी खाली ठेवली जाते.

2. विसरणं अशक्य. Post-fullness, विसंबो mode परत येत नाही. Discipline ने नाही — threshold-crossing ने. Fullness complete झाली म्हणून विसरणं prevented.

3. Dwelling-ground shift. घर (prior ground, inherited-arrangement) योग्य ground नाही. With-Krishna ground — रान, गोठण, उघडं माळ — आता home. Round-trips cancel.

4. Plural-relations collapse. Friend-इथे, kin-तिथे, mother-father-दुसरीकडे, देव-मंदिरात — तू-हे-सर्व मध्ये collapse होतं. कोणतं relation आहे हे काळजी करू नका; सर्व आहे.

5. Anxious-monitoring मरतं. पाहाणें ते वाट मागें पुढें राहिली. Checking-back-and-forth mode — हे real आहे का, टिकेल का, पुरेसं आहे का — मागे राहतं. Suppressed नाही; outgrown.

आज: हे markers दिसले — threshold cross झाला. Prior arrangement कडे परत जाण्याचा प्रयत्न करू नका; चुकलिया येरझारा.

Where this applies

• Tiffin-bag put down. No more backup-supplies.
• Forgetting impossible. Threshold-crossing, not discipline.
• Round-trips canceled. चुकलिया येरझारा.

Related verses

• Abhanga 2425
• Abhanga 2477 — English: Unceasingly attached, drum-roll in courtyard — holding vaikharī in hand, bhāva sh
• Abhanga 2484
• Abhanga 2540 — English: What greatness will I, low one, describe — you become compassionate, kṛpā-ocean.