Abhanga 190

When love or devotion truly fills you, you stop hedging your bets, stop being able to forget the beloved, and the restless waiting and checking simply comes to an end.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

A post-fullness commitment abhang — the deepest declaration in the gopa-comrade cluster. Five claims:

1. धालों धणीवरी — आतां न लगे शिदोरी — we are full to satisfaction; no need for the tiffin-bag now. The bhakta has had enough. The shidori (tiffin-bag / food-pack of 185 — I'll carry your bhāra-shidorī) is no longer needed. The bounded-supply of 189 has done its work; the bhakta is full.

2. नये क्षणभरी आतां यासि विसंबों — won't forget him for even a moment now. Post-fullness, the forgetting-mode is closed. The bhakta has crossed the threshold beyond which forgetting is no longer possible.

3. खेळ मांडूं रानीं — बैसवूं गोठणीं — न लगे जावें घरा — let's set up the game in the forest, seat (the cows) in the cow-pen, no need to go home. The dwelling-ground shifts. Home (the prior dwelling) is no longer the right ground. The forest (the wild, the open, the with-Krishna) is now home. Round-trips canceled.

4. सज्जन सोयरा मायबाप तूं आम्हां — friend-kin-mother-father — you are to us. Krishna is all four relational-roles simultaneously. The plural-relations of the prior life collapse into one.

5. पाहाणें ते वाट मागें पुढें राहिली — the watching of the path — back-and-forth — is left behind. The vāṭa-pāhaṇē (path-watching, anxious-checking, back-and-forth) is left behind. Post-fullness, the anxious-monitoring mode dies. [T]

This is the structural climax of the gopa-cluster: 164 set up the kālā-feast; 165 invited; 166-185 worked through the leelā; 190 names the post-feast irreversible commitment. There is no going home from this kālā.

For someone today

This abhang names a threshold-crossing moment in any deep-bhakti / deep-love / deep-engagement. After enough fullness has been received, certain things become no-longer-possible:

1. The tiffin-bag is no longer needed. You stop carrying supplies for the other, and stop carrying backup supplies for yourself in case this doesn't work out. The bag is put down.

2. Forgetting becomes impossible. Post-fullness, the visambo (forget) mode does not return. Not by discipline — by threshold-crossing. The forgetting was prevented by the fullness having been complete.

3. The dwelling-ground shifts. Home (the prior ground, the inherited-arrangement) is no longer the right ground. The with-Krishna ground — forest, cow-pen, open-field — is now home. Round-trips between the two are canceled.

4. The plural-relations collapse into one. What was friend here, kin there, mother-father elsewhere, deity in the temple — collapses into you being all of these at once. Don't worry about which relation it is; it is all of them.

5. Anxious-monitoring dies. पाहाणें ते वाट मागें पुढें राहिली. The back-and-forth checking mode — is this real, is this lasting, is this enough — stays behind. Not suppressed; outgrown.

For today: notice when these markers appear. They mean a threshold has been crossed. Don't try to return to the prior arrangement; चुकलिया येरझारा — the round-trips are canceled.

मराठी: ही ओवी कोणत्याही खोल भक्तीत, खोल प्रेमात किंवा खोल गुंतवणुकीत येणारा एक उंबरठा-ओलांडण्याचा क्षण सांगते. पुरेशी तृप्ती मिळाल्यावर काही गोष्टी पुन्हा शक्य राहत नाहीत.

1. शिदोरी आता लागत नाही — दुसऱ्यासाठी अन्नसामग्री बाळगणं, किंवा 'हे टिकलं नाही तर' म्हणून स्वतःसाठी राखीव सामग्री बाळगणं, हे थांबतं. पिशवी आता खाली ठेवली जाते.

2. विसरणं अशक्य होतं — तृप्तीनंतर विसरण्याची सवय परत येत नाही. ही शिस्तीमुळे नाही, तर उंबरठा ओलांडल्यामुळे घडतं. तृप्ती इतकी पूर्ण होती की विसरणंच शक्य उरत नाही.

3. राहण्याची जागा बदलते — घर, म्हणजे आधीची, वारशाने आलेली जागा, आता योग्य जागा वाटत नाही. कृष्णासोबतची जागा — रान, गोठण, मोकळं शेत — आताचं घर बनते. दोन्हींमधल्या फेऱ्या थांबतात.

4. अनेक नाती एकात विरघळतात — जो कधी इथे मित्र, तिथे नातेवाईक, कुठेतरी आई-वडील, मंदिरातला देव होता — तोच आता हे सगळं एकाच वेळी बनतो. कोणतं नातं आहे याची काळजी करू नका; ते सगळंच आहे.

5. अस्वस्थ वाट पाहणं संपतं — वाट पाहणं, मागे-पुढे तपासत राहणं — हे खरंच आहे का, टिकेल का, पुरेसं आहे का — हे मागे राहतं. हे दाबलेलं नाही; ते ओलांडलेलं आहे.

आज एवढंच लक्षात घ्या — ही चिन्हं दिसली की समजा एक उंबरठा ओलांडला गेला आहे. आधीच्या व्यवस्थेकडे परत जाण्याचा प्रयत्न करू नका — फेऱ्या आता थांबल्या आहेत.

Where this applies

• Tiffin-bag put down. No more backup-supplies.
• Forgetting impossible. Threshold-crossing, not discipline.
• Round-trips canceled. चुकलिया येरझारा.

Related verses

• Abhanga 2425 — Surrender every part of your life completely to what you trust most, and let go of the res
• Abhanga 2477 — Like a child too absorbed in play to notice how tired he is, let go and trust the parent c
• Abhanga 2484 — Real devotion can include anger and demand, not just sweetness, because a devotee who trul
• Abhanga 2540 — Even the smallest, most helpless creature that cries out to God in danger is sheltered and