Abhanga 425
When darkness and fear thicken inside you, honestly admit it, recognize that what haunts you is often your own mind or body, and turn to God as the physician who can heal you.
The verse
तिमिर कोंदलेंसें । वाढे वाढतां प्रबळ । भीत मी जालों देवा । काय ज्याल्याचें फळ ॥१॥ अंजन लेववुनी । करीं मारग सोपा । जाईन सिद्धिपंथें । अवघ्या चुकती खेपा ॥ध्रु.॥ हा ना तोसा ठाव जाला । अवघा पडिला अंधार । फिरलीं माझीं मज । कोणी न देती आधार ॥२॥ आला बागुल आजा । कैसा विपरीत जाला । तो चि देह नव्हे दुजा ॥३॥ स्वहित न दिसेचि । केला आपुला वध । लागले काळ पाठीं । सवें काम हे क्रोध ॥४॥ पाहातों वास तुझी । थोरी करूनी आशा । तुका म्हणे वैद्यराजा । पंढरीच्या निवासा ॥५॥
Literal translation
Timira thickened — grows prabaḷa — I am afraid, deva — what fruit of becoming? Applying amjana — make mārga easy — I'll go on siddhi-pantha — all khēpā end. Neither this nor that ṭhāva — all darkness fallen — my own turned, no ādhāra. Bagul-ājā came — how viparīta — same deha, no second. Svahita not seen — own slaughter done — kāḷa follows — with kāma-krōdha alongside. I look for You — making great āśā — Tuka says: vaidya-rāja — Pandhari-niwāsā.
मराठी: तिमिर कोंदलेंसें — वाढे वाढतां प्रबळ — भीत मी जालों देवा — काय ज्याल्याचें फळ. अंजन लेववुनी — करीं मारग सोपा — जाईन सिद्धिपंथें — अवघ्या चुकती खेपा. हा ना तोसा ठाव जाला — अवघा पडिला अंधार — फिरलीं माझीं मज — कोणी न देती आधार. आला बागुल आजा — कैसा विपरीत जाला — तो चि देह नव्हे दुजा. स्वहित न दिसेचि — केला आपुला वध — लागले काळ पाठीं — सवें काम हे क्रोध. तुकाराम म्हणतां — पाहातों वास तुझी थोरी करूनी आशा — वैद्यराजा पंढरीच्या निवासा.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| तिमिर कोंदलेंसें | "timira — thickened" |
| वाढे वाढतां प्रबळ | "grows growingly prabaḷa (powerful)" |
| भीत मी जालों देवा | "I am afraid, deva" |
| काय ज्याल्याचें फळ | "what fruit of becoming?" |
| अंजन लेववुनी | "applying amjana" |
| करीं मारग सोपा | "make the mārga easy" |
| जाईन सिद्धिपंथें | "I'll go on the siddhi-pantha" |
| अवघ्या चुकती खेपा | "all khēpā end" |
| हा ना तोसा ठाव जाला | "neither this nor that ṭhāva" |
| अवघा पडिला अंधार | "all darkness fallen" |
| फिरलीं माझीं मज कोणी न देती आधार | "my own turned against me — no ādhāra" |
| आला बागुल आजा कैसा विपरीत जाला | "bagul-ājā came — how viparīta" |
| तो चि देह नव्हे दुजा | "this same deha — no second" |
| स्वहित न दिसेचि केला आपुला वध | "svahita not seen — own slaughter done" |
| लागले काळ पाठीं सवें काम हे क्रोध | "kāḷa follows — with kāma-krōdha alongside" |
| पाहातों वास तुझी थोरी करूनी आशा | "I look for You — making great āśā" |
| वैद्यराजा पंढरीच्या निवासा | "vaidya-rāja — Pandhari-niwāsā" |
What it means
A darkness-thickens-prayer-for-collyrium-from-vaidya-rāja abhang. Six claims:
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तिमिर कोंदलेंसें — वाढे वाढतां प्रबळ — भीत मी जालों देवा — काय ज्याल्याचें फळ — timira thickened — grows prabaḷa — afraid, deva — what fruit of becoming? The opening-fear: darkness has thickened; grows ever-more-powerful; I am afraid, deva; what is the fruit ofjhāyalyā(becoming, having-been-born)? Existence-question.
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अंजन लेववुनी — करीं मारग सोपा — जाईन सिद्धिपंथें — अवघ्या चुकती खेपा — applying amjana — make mārga easy — go on siddhi-pantha — all khēpā end. The prayer-for-collyrium: applyamjana(collyrium, eye-medicine) (to my eyes); make themārgaeasy; I will go on thesiddhi-pantha; all thekhēpā(rounds, repetitive-cycles) will end. Collyrium = vision-restorer; vision-restored = end of cycles.
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हा ना तोसा ठाव जाला — अवघा पडिला अंधार — फिरलीं माझीं मज — कोणी न देती आधार — neither this nor that ṭhāva — all darkness fallen — my own turned — no ādhāra. The no-place-no-support claim: neither this nor thatṭhāva(place); all darkness has fallen; my own (loved-ones / faculties) have turned against me; no one givesādhāra. Total alienation.
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आला बागुल आजा — कैसा विपरीत जाला — तो चि देह नव्हे दुजा — bagul-ājā came — how viparīta — same deha, no second. The bagul-ājā image: thebagul-ājā(a bogey-grandfather, a child-fear-figure) has come; howviparīta(perverse / strange) — (it is) the samedeha, no second! The bogey-fear is recognized as the same body, not a second-being. (The fear-figure of the body's-decay is the body itself.)
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स्वहित न दिसेचि — केला आपुला वध — लागले काळ पाठीं — सवें काम हे क्रोध — svahita not seen — own slaughter done — kāḷa follows — kāma-krōdha alongside. The self-destruction-claim: I do not seesvahita(self-good); own slaughter has been done (by me); kāḷa follows behind;with kāma-krōdha alongside.Self-destruction; death and passion-anger pursue.
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पाहातों वास तुझी — थोरी करूनी आशा — तुका म्हणे वैद्यराजा — पंढरीच्या निवासा — I look for You — making great āśā — Tuka says: vaidya-rāja — Pandhari-niwāsā. The closing-petition: I look for You — with greatāśā; Tuka says: Ovaidya-rāja(king-of-physicians) — (You who reside at)Pandhari-niwāsā (Pandhari-dwelling).Pandhari-Viṭhobā as the king-of-physicians.
[T]
For someone today
This abhang is Tukaram at his most exposed: he admits that darkness keeps thickening inside him and that he is afraid of what his whole existence amounts to. Instead of pretending to be fine, he asks God directly for the collyrium that restores sight, so the path ahead becomes clear. He notices that even the people and habits he counted on have turned away, leaving him with no support, and that the monster he feared turns out to be nothing but his own body's fear of decay. He confesses that he has, in effect, brought about his own downfall, with death and unchecked craving and anger trailing behind him. Still, he keeps watching for Vitthal, the physician-king who lives in Pandharpur, trusting that this is where healing comes from.
मराठी: या अभंगात तुकाराम अगदी उघडपणे कबूल करतात की त्यांच्या मनात अंधार दाटून येत आहे आणि आपल्या जगण्याचा काय उपयोग झाला, याची भीती वाटते. ते देवाकडे थेट डोळे उघडणाऱ्या अंजनाची मागणी करतात, जेणेकरून पुढचा मार्ग सोपा आणि स्पष्ट दिसेल. ज्यांच्यावर विसंबून होते तेच लोक आणि सवयी आता दूर गेल्यासारखे वाटतात, कोणाचाही आधार उरलेला नाही, आणि ज्या भीतीच्या राक्षसाला ते घाबरत होते तो दुसरा-तिसरा कोणी नसून स्वतःचाच क्षीण होणारा देह आहे, हे त्यांना उमगते. आपणच आपला नाश ओढवून घेतला आणि मृत्यू, वासना व क्रोध पाठीशी लागले आहेत, हे ते प्रामाणिकपणे मान्य करतात. तरीही ते पंढरपुरात राहणाऱ्या वैद्यराज विठ्ठलाची वाट पाहतात, कारण तिथूनच खरा उपचार मिळेल असा त्यांना विश्वास आहे.
Where this applies
- Thickening timira. Acknowledge.
- Pray for amjana. Vision-restoration.
- Total alienation. Own-turned.
- Bagul-ājā = same body. Self-fear.
- Self-slaughter; kāḷa-kāma-krōdha follows. Honest.
- Vaidya-rājaatPandhari-niwāsā. Cure-place.