Abhanga 1251
When duty leaves you no freedom and your heart's longing has nowhere to go, it is faithful, not disloyal, to say so honestly to God.
The verse
कामें नेलें चित्त नेदी अवलोकुं मुख । बहु वाटे दुःख फुटों पाहे हृदय ॥१॥ कां जी सासुरवासी मज केलें भगवंता । आपुलिया सत्ता स्वाधीनता ते नाहीं ॥ध्रु.॥ प्रभातेसि वाटे तुमच्या यावें दर्शना । येथें न चले चोरी उरली राहे वासना ॥२॥ येथें अवघे वांयां गेले दिसती सायास । तुका म्हणे नास दिसे जाल्या वेचाचा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Works took the citta — they don't let me look at the mukha — much duḥkha — the heart wants to break. Why have you made me a sāsura-vāsī, Bhagavantā? — under your sattā there is no svādhīnatā. At dawn I want to come for your darśana — (but) here cōrī doesn't run; the vāsanā remains. Here all sāyāsa look gone in vain. Tuka says: I see the nāśa of the vēca made.
मराठी: कामांनीं चित्त नेलें — मुख अवलोकूं देत नाहींत — बहु दुःख — हृदय फुटायला पाहतें. कां जी सासुर-वासी मला केलें — भगवंता? — तुझ्या सत्तेखालीं स्वाधीनता नाहीं. प्रभातीं तुमच्या दर्शनास यावें वाटतें — पण इथें चोरीहि चालत नाहीं — वासना उरून रहाते. इथें सर्व सायास वायां गेले दिसतात — Tukā म्हणे — झालेल्या वेचाचा नास दिसतो.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| कामें नेलें चित्त | "works (kāmē) took the citta" |
| नेदी अवलोकुं मुख | "(they) don't let (me) look at the mukha (face)" |
| बहु वाटे दुःख फुटों पाहे हृदय | "much duḥkha — the hṛdaya wants to break (phuṭō)" |
| कां जी सासुरवासी मज केलें भगवंता | "why have you made me a sāsura-vāsī, Bhagavantā?" |
| आपुलिया सत्ता स्वाधीनता ते नाहीं | "under your sattā — there is no svādhīnatā (self-rule)" |
| प्रभातेसि वाटे तुमच्या यावें दर्शना | "at prabhāte (dawn) I want to come to your darśana" |
| येथें न चले चोरी | "here cōrī (theft = secret going) doesn't run" |
| उरली राहे वासना | "the vāsanā remains (uralī rāhē)" |
| येथें अवघे वांयां गेले दिसती सायास | "all sāyāsa here look gone in vain" |
| नास दिसे जाल्या वेचाचा | "(I) see the nāśa (loss) of the vēca (expenditure) made" |
What it means
Sāsuravāsa 5 of 8 — the most explicit naming of the register.
Kām jī sāsura-vāsī maja kēlēm Bhagavantā? — Why have you, Bhagavantā, made me a sāsura-vāsī? This single line locates the whole sub-series: the bhakta-soul has been married off into samsāra. Hari himself sent her there — and now under his sattā (sovereignty) she has no svādhīnatā (self-rule).
The prabhātesi yāvē darśanā — na cālē cōrī image is intimate and precise: the sāsura-vāsī bride at dawn wants to slip out for darśana of her māhera-deity — but cōrī doesn't run here — the in-laws watch even before sunrise. The uralī rāhē vāsanā — the longing remains — unable to be enacted, unable to be extinguished.
The closing — avaghē sāyāsa vāyām — nāśa jālyā vēcāncā — all efforts are in vain — the loss of all expenditure is visible — is the bride's accounting: the dowry she came with, all spent for nothing.
[T]
For someone today
For today: the samsāra-marriage gives no svādhīnatā; the dawn-vāsanā for darśana cannot be slipped out to honor; Hari sent you, Hari must release.
Where this applies
- When you feel trapped by duty or circumstance with no real freedom to live as you wish
- When you long for a quiet moment with someone or something you love but never get the chance to slip away
- When you look back at years of effort and feel like it has all been spent for nothing
- When you want to honestly tell God or someone close that being bound by responsibility is wearing you down