Abhanga 1600
You can keep a promise without feeling worthy of it, and real compassion for the suffering around you can make it impossible to simply stay the same.
The verse
बोलिलों तें आतां पाळावें वचन । ऐसें पुण्य कोण माझे गांठी ॥१॥ जातों आतां आज्ञा घेऊनियां स्वामी । काळक्षेप आम्ही करूं कोठें ॥ध्रु.॥ न घडे यावरि न धरवे धीर । पीडतां राष्ट्र देखोनि जग ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे तुम्ही दिसे मोकलिलें । काय आतां आलें जीवित्वाचें ॥३॥
Literal translation
What I spoke, now must keep the vacana — what such puṇya is at my belt? I am going now, taking the swāmī's ājñā — where shall we make kāla-kṣēpa? Cannot bear thereafter, cannot hold dhīra — seeing the suffering of rāṣṭra and jaga. Tuka says: you seem to have let me go — what now has come of jīvitva?
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| बोलिलों तें आतां पाळावें वचन | "what I spoke — now — must keep — the vacana" |
| ऐसें पुण्य कोण माझे गांठी | "what such puṇya — is at my belt (gāṇṭhī)?" |
| जातों आतां आज्ञा घेऊनियां स्वामी | "I am going — now — taking — the swāmī's — permission" |
| काळक्षेप आम्ही करूं कोठें | "kāla-kṣēpa — we — shall make — where?" |
| न घडे यावरि न धरवे धीर | "doesn't happen — thereafter — cannot hold — patience" |
| पीडतां राष्ट्र देखोनि जग | "seeing — suffering — rāṣṭra — and jaga" |
| तुका म्हणे तुम्ही दिसे मोकलिलें | "Tuka says — you — seem — to have let go (mōkalilēm)" |
| काय आतां आलें जीवित्वाचें | "what now — has come — of jīvitva?" |
What it means
Farewell-saying with rāṣṭra-suffering-lament abhang. Vaikuṇṭha-gamana cluster.
The vow-keeping: bōlilōm tēm ātām pāḷāvēm vacana — aisēm puṇya kōṇa mājhe gāṇṭhī — what I spoke, now must keep the vacana — what such puṇya is at my belt? Rhetorical-question: what such puṇya do I have to back up the vacana I am about to keep? (= Tuka feels he is keeping a promise without sufficient merit to back it up — divine-grace-only.)
The departure-with-permission: jātōm ātām ājñā ghē'uniyām swāmī — kāḷa-kṣēpa āmhī karūm kōṭhē — I am going now, taking the swāmī's permission — where shall we make kāla-kṣēpa? Ājñā-ghē'uniyām = taking permission (= farewell-formula). Kāḷa-kṣēpa = passing-time / spending-time. Where shall I now pass time? — implying I cannot continue here once permission is granted to leave.
The rāṣṭra-suffering: na ghaḍē yāvari na dharavē dhīra — pīḍatām rāṣṭra dēkhōni jaga — thereafter cannot bear, cannot hold patience — seeing the suffering of rāṣṭra and jaga. Pīḍatām rāṣṭra = the suffering region / nation; jaga = world. (Striking-formulation: Tukaram cites the suffering of region-and-world as a reason for departure — unable-to-bear-witnessing-the-pīḍa. This is one of the rare political-lines in Tukaram — possibly referring to the Adilshahi-Mughal-conflict, drought, plague, or general 17th-century-Maharashtra-distress of his time.)
The closing-lament: Tukā mhaṇē tumhī disē mōkalilēm — kāya ātām ālēm jīvitvācēm — Tuka says: you seem to have let me go — what now has come of jīvitva? Mōkalilēm = let go, released, abandoned. You-Lord seem to have set me free — what is left of life now? (= now that you have released me, life has no further purpose.)
[T]
For someone today
For today: what I have spoken, I must now keep as my word — but what such merit is at my belt to back it up?; I am going now, taking the master's permission — where can I now pass my time?; I cannot bear it any longer, cannot hold patience — seeing the suffering of region and world; Tuka says — you, Lord, seem to have set me free — what now remains of life-existence?
Where this applies
- When you have made a promise and doubt whether you are good enough or worthy enough to keep it
- When you need to ask someone's permission or blessing before you can move on from where you are
- When witnessing suffering around you, in your community or the wider world, makes it impossible to just go on as before
- When a big change in your life leaves you asking what is left of the life you used to have