Abhanga 1803

Tuka voices the frustration of feeling that God is elusive and playing games, even while his devotion keeps him close enough to complain honestly.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

Lord-as-trickster-hide-and-seek abhang. Part of the 1801-1807 mocking-cluster.

The opening: vyavahāra tō khōṭā — ātām na vajōm tujhyā vāṭā — the dealing is crooked — now I won't go on your route. Vyavahāra = the transactional-dealing; khōṭā = crooked, false; vāṭā = route, way. Your-business-with-me is crooked; I refuse-to-walk-your-path. (Mock-strike, like 1802.)

The Nāma-rhythm-line: ēkā nāmā nāhīm tāḷa — kēlī sahaja-rāñcī māḷa — even one Nāma has no rhythm — (you've) made a sahaja-rāñcī māḷa. Tāḷa = rhythm, beat; sahaja-rāñcī māḷa = an offhand-king-string (= a casual-haphazard-chain of names, with no rhythm-or-order). Even-the-Name has-become a casual-rambling — you've not-given-it the proper-rhythm. (= the bhakti-recitation has lost its taste because the Lord has-not-aligned with it.)

The hide-and-seek line: pāhōm jātām ghāīm — khēḷasī lapaṇḍāīm — when I go to look in haste, you play hide-and-seek. Lapaṇḍāīm = the children's hide-and-seek game. Brilliant complaint: when-the-bhakta-rushes-to-find-the-Lord, the-Lord-hides like a child playing-the-game. (= darśana-elusion treated as childish-trickery.)

The closing: Tukā mhaṇē cāra — bahu karitōsī phāra — Tuka says: trickery — you do too much of it. Cāra = trickery, cleverness, machinations; bahu phāra = very much. The summary-charge: too much trickery from your side.

This abhang continues the 1801-1807 mocking-cluster's register — Lord-as-rascal who plays hide-and-seek and does crooked-dealing; bhakta announces strike but with-affection.

[T]

For someone today

For today: the dealing is crooked — now I won't go on your route; even one Nāma has no rhythm — (you've) made an offhand-king-string of it; when I go to look in haste, you play hide-and-seek; Tuka says — trickery, you do too much of it.

Where this applies

• When your meditation or prayer practice suddenly feels hollow, its natural rhythm gone
• When you feel like you're chasing something that keeps slipping out of reach right when you get close
• When you want to call out someone you love for being evasive, while still staying committed to them
• When you're frustrated that a relationship feels one-sided, like you always have to keep showing up

Related verses

• Abhanga 2448 — The easiest path to God is repeating divine names with love at home, right where you are,
• Abhanga 2467 — What looks like your whole world, like a fig to the insect living inside it, is only a tin
• Abhanga 2494 — Living in devotion turns an ordinary day into a festival and removes the fear of birth and
• Abhanga 4481 — Tukaram promises that sincerely calling on the Lord's name, knowingly or unknowingly, with