Abhanga 1818
When willpower alone cannot control a mind that keeps choosing harm, the honest move is to admit the limit and ask for help crossing over.
The verse
सांगतों या मना तें माझें नाइके । घातावरी टेंके चांडाळ हें ॥१॥ म्हणऊनि पाहे तरतें बुडतें । न ल्हाये पुरतें बळ करूं ॥ध्रु.॥ काय तें संचित न कळे पाहातां । मतिमंद चित्ती उपजतें ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे ऐसें बळ नाहीं अंगी । पाहोनियां वेगीं पार टाकीं ॥३॥
Literal translation
I tell this mind — it doesn't listen — on the brink of harm, this cāṇḍāḷa clings. Therefore I see swimming and drowning — I cannot find enough strength to make. What samcita this is, I don't understand while looking — mati-manda arises in the chitta. Tuka says: such strength is not in the body — seeing this, swiftly throw (me) across.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| सांगतों या मना तें माझें नाइके | "I tell this mind — of mine — (it) doesn't listen" |
| घातावरी टेंके चांडाळ हें | "on the brink of harm — clings — this cāṇḍāḷa" |
| म्हणऊनि पाहे तरतें बुडतें | "therefore I see — swimming and drowning" |
| न ल्हाये पुरतें बळ करूं | "(I) cannot find — enough — strength to make" |
| काय तें संचित न कळे पाहातां | "what samcita — I don't understand — while looking" |
| मतिमंद चित्ती उपजतें | "mati-manda (dull-witted) — arises — in the chitta" |
| तुका म्हणे ऐसें बळ नाहीं अंगी | "Tuka says — such — no strength — in the body" |
| पाहोनियां वेगीं पार टाकीं | "seeing — swiftly — throw (me) across" |
What it means
Cāṇḍāḷa-mind-disobeys + take-me-across abhang.
The opening: sāngatōm yā manā tē mājhē nā'ikē — ghātāvarī ṭēnkē cāṇḍāḷa hē — I tell this mind, it doesn't listen — on the brink of harm, this cāṇḍāḷa clings. Cāṇḍāḷa = outcaste-low-name (used as insult-to-the-disobedient-mind); ghātāvarī = on-the-edge-of-harm; ṭēnkē = clings, attaches itself. The mind, called cāṇḍāḷa, perversely clings to the brink-of-harm.
The drowning-line: mhaṇa'ūni pāhē taratē buḍatē — na lhāyē puratē baḷa karūm — therefore I see swimming and drowning — cannot find enough strength. Tarata-buḍatē = the swimming-and-drowning state (= now-up, now-down). I lack-the-strength to-stay-up.
The mati-manda line: kāya tē samcita na kaḷē pāhātām — mati-manda chittī upajatēm — what samcita I don't understand — mati-manda arises in chitta. Samcita = the accumulated-karma-store; mati-manda = dull-witted, slow-of-intellect. I don't-know-what-samcita-brought-this; only-dull-wittedness-arises-in-the-chitta.
The closing-petition: Tukā mhaṇē aisē baḷa nāhīm angī — pāhōniyām vēgīm pāra ṭākīm — Tuka says: such strength is not in the body — seeing this, swiftly throw (me) across. Pāra ṭākīm = throw-across (= carry-me-to-the-other-shore). Self-effort-failed; the bhakta asks the Lord to swiftly-throw-him-across.
This abhang is a short-sharp helplessness-petition: the mind disobeys, the body lacks strength, the chitta is mati-manda — only your-grace-can-save.
[T]
For someone today
For today: I tell this mind — it doesn't listen — on the brink of harm, this cāṇḍāḷa clings; therefore I see swimming and drowning — I cannot find enough strength; what samcita this is, I don't understand — mati-manda arises in the chitta; Tuka says — such strength is not in the body — seeing this, swiftly throw (me) across.
Where this applies
- When you know exactly what you should do but your own mind keeps pulling you back toward the same harmful habit
- When you feel like you are barely keeping your head above water, some days managing and other days sinking
- When you cannot explain why a bad pattern keeps repeating and you just feel foggy and stuck instead of clear
- When you finally stop pretending you can white-knuckle your way through and ask someone or something bigger for help