Abhanga 2153
Direct experience can melt what the heart has hidden and dissolve the sense of separateness between you and what you love, and it is your own longing that keeps that presence near.
The verse
अनुभवा आलें । माझें चित्तींचें क्षरलें ॥१॥ असे जवळी अंतर । फिरे आवडीच्या फेरें ॥ध्रु.॥ खादलें चि वाटे । खावें भेटलें चि भेटे ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे उभें । आम्ही राखियेलें लोभें ॥३॥ ॥१०॥
Literal translation
Came to anubhava — my chitta's [secret] melted/leaked. Near-and-far — turns in the round of fondness. Eating-it-feels-eaten — meeting-feels-met. Tuka says: standing — we kept him by lōbha. ॥10॥
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| अनुभवा आलें | "came to anubhava" |
| माझें चित्तींचें क्षरलें | "my chitta's [secret] melted/leaked" |
| असे जवळी अंतर | "near-and-far" |
| फिरे आवडीच्या फेरें | "turns in the round of fondness" |
| खादलें चि वाटे | "eating-it-feels-eaten" |
| खावें भेटलें चि भेटे | "meeting-feels-met" |
| तुका म्हणे उभें | "Tuka says — standing" |
| आम्ही राखियेलें लोभें | "we kept him by lōbha" |
| ॥१०॥ | colophon — closes 10-abhang sub-cluster (2144-2153) |
What it means
Anubhava-melted-chitta + standing-kept-by-lōbha abhang. Ends with ॥१०॥ — closes 10-abhang sub-cluster (2144-2153).
The opening: anubhavā ālē — mājhē chittīñchē kṣaralē — came to anubhava — my chitta's [secret] melted/leaked. Direct-anubhava-experience caused the chitta's-secret to melt/leak. Kṣaralē = trickled, leaked, melted out. What was-hidden in chitta is now-leaked-out by anubhava.
The near-and-far: asē javaḷī antara — phirē āvaḍīchyā phērē — near-and-far — turns in the round of fondness. The Lord is both-near-and-far, turning in the round-of-fondness (āvaḍī).
The reciprocity: khādalē chi vāṭē — khāvē bhēṭalē chi bhēṭē — eating-it-feels-eaten — meeting-feels-met. In bhakti-anubhava: eating-feels-eaten (the eater becomes-the-eaten); meeting-feels-met (the meeter becomes-the-met). Subject-object dissolves.
The closing — kept-by-lōbha: Tukā mhaṇē ubhē — āmhī rākhiyēlē lōbhē — Tuka says: standing — we kept him by lōbha. The Lord-stands-(at-Paṇḍharī); we-have-kept-him-standing-there by-our-lōbha (intense-attachment/greed-for-him). The bhakta's lōbha keeps-the-Lord-standing.
The ॥१०॥ colophon closes a 10-abhang sub-cluster (2144-2153), continuing the editorial-numbering practice in this section of the Gatha.
[T]
For someone today
A direct inner experience came, and everything my heart had been secretly holding simply melted away and poured out. He feels both near and far, always turning within the circle of my longing for him. In that experience, the one who eats feels eaten, and the one who meets feels met, the separateness between us dissolves. Tuka says: it is our own deep longing that keeps him standing there before us.
मराठी: अनुभव आला आणि माझ्या चित्तात लपलेलं सगळं वितळून वाहून गेलं. तो जवळ आणि दूर दोन्हीही असतो, माझ्या ओढीच्या फेऱ्यात सतत फिरत राहतो. या अनुभवात खाणाराच खाल्ल्यासारखा वाटतो, भेटणाराच भेटल्यासारखा भेटतो, आपल्यातलं अंतर विरघळून जातं. तुका म्हणतो, आमच्याच ओढीने आम्ही त्याला असा उभा राखून ठेवला आहे.
Where this applies
- When a real spiritual or emotional experience suddenly dissolves something you had been holding back for years
- When you sense a presence as both intimately near and mysteriously distant at the same time
- When a deep connection makes you feel like the line between yourself and the other person has blurred
- When you realize your own longing is what keeps a cherished presence or relationship close to you