Abhanga 2154

Outward reputation for holiness or success means nothing if the inner life remains unwell, like sandalwood paste on a body still in pain, or sweets offered to someone with a fever.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

Outward-bhakti-ornament + inner-disease + corpse-decorated abhang.

The opening — the body-image: pōṭīm śūḷa angīm uṭī chandanāchī — āvaḍī sukhāchī kōṇa tayā — belly-pain, but sandalwood-paste on body — what fondness for sukha. Inside-pain, outside-ornament: the fever-patient cannot-enjoy-sukha despite outward-decoration.

The lament-to-Paṇḍharī-rāyā: taisē maja kām gā kēlē Paṇḍharī-rāyā — laukika hā vāñyā vāḍhavilā — why did you do this to me, Paṇḍharī-rāyā — uselessly grew the laukika. Laukika = worldly-fame, public-reputation. Tukārām's distinctive lament: the laukika (= the fame of being-a-saint) grew uselessly while-the-inside is-disease.

The fever-and-sweets: jvariliyāpuḍhē vāḍhilīm miṣṭānnē — kāya chavī tēṇē ghyāvī tyāchī — sweets served to a fever-patient — what taste would he take. The fever-patient cannot-relish-sweets; similarly the inwardly-diseased cannot-relish bhakti-sukha despite-being-served.

The closing — corpse-decorated: Tukā mhaṇē maḍhē śṛngārilē varī — tē chi jālī parī maja Dēvā — Tuka says: corpse decorated on top — that is what's happened to me, Lord. Maḍhē = corpse. Śṛngārilē varī = decorated on top. Like a corpse decorated-outwardly — that's-what's-happened to me. Devastating self-image: outward-saintliness, inward-deadness.

[T]

For someone today

For today: belly-pain but sandalwood-paste on body — what fondness for sukha; why did you do this to me, Paṇḍharī-rāyā — uselessly grew the laukika; sweets to fever-patient — no taste; Tuka says — corpse decorated on top — that's what's happened to me, Lord.

Where this applies

• When people praise you as spiritual or accomplished while you know something inside still hurts
• When you feel like good things offered to you cannot actually be enjoyed because of inner pain
• When outward reputation grows faster than genuine inner healing and it starts to feel dishonest
• When you find the courage to admit that your public image doesn't match how you actually feel inside

Related verses

• Abhanga 2448 — The easiest path to God is repeating divine names with love at home, right where you are,
• Abhanga 2494 — Living in devotion turns an ordinary day into a festival and removes the fear of birth and
• Abhanga 4481 — Tukaram promises that sincerely calling on the Lord's name, knowingly or unknowingly, with
• Abhanga 4482 — Tukaram teaches that no ritual equals sincerely speaking the Lord's name, that self-center