Abhanga 2160

Fear of displeasing someone you love only exists as long as real service and devotion remain between you, so the disappearance of that fear can reveal that the bond has already faded.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

Locked-out-from-Lord's-door + fear-only-while-service-remained abhang.

The opening — the accusation: ēkāēkīm ātām asāvēmsē vāṭē — tari cha hē khōṭē chāḷē kēlē — suddenly now [you] want to be [alone] — that's why these false plays were done. Suddenly-you-want-to-be-alone — so-you-staged-these-false-plays-to-eject-me.

The lock-out-image: vājavūni tōṇḍa ghātalōm bāhērī — kulpa karunī dārīm mājī vasā — tooted the mouth — put me outside — lock on door — you dwell inside. The bhakta-was-paraded-out (with-mouth-tooting), the-door-locked, the-Lord-dwells-inside-alone. Devastating image of-being-locked-out.

The pressed-light: ujēḍāchā kēlā dāṭōni andhāra — savē huddedāra chēṣṭāvilā — pressed light into darkness — pestered the hudderdār along. Huddedāra = officer, position-holder. Light-pressed-into-darkness; the-officer-pestered-along (= even-the-administrative-functionary harassed).

The closing — fear-only-while-service-remained: Tukā mhaṇē bhaya hōtē tōm chi varī — hōtī kāmhīm urī svāmi-sēvā — Tuka says: fear existed only as long as — some remnant of Master-service remained. Fear-of-the-Lord existed only-as-long-as some-Master-service-remained; now-that-(service-is-gone, fear-is-gone-too). (= paradoxically, having-fear-was-itself a-sign-of-relationship.)

[T]

For someone today

For today: suddenly now want to be alone — false plays done; tooted the mouth, put me outside — lock on door, you dwell inside; pressed light into darkness — pestered the hudderdār along; Tuka says — fear existed only as long as some Master-service remained.

Where this applies

• When you feel deliberately shut out of a relationship that once felt open to you
• When you notice that your fear of upsetting someone is actually a sign of how much you still care
• When you realize a once-present fear of losing someone has quietly disappeared, and wonder what that means
• When you sense that a relationship has grown distant even though nothing was said outright

Related verses

• Abhanga 2374 — Rather than scattering devotion among many lesser deities who demand offerings, Tukaram sa
• Abhanga 2377 — This detailed meditation on Vitthal standing on a brick at Pandharpur, out of love for his
• Abhanga 2387 — Accept whatever life brings with reverence, and place the burden on God rather than carryi
• Abhanga 2402 — For today: happily take rebirths — IF among the Paṇḍharī-Vārkarīs ; Hari-dāsas' company is