Abhanga 2162
It is honest to voice frustration at care that feels inconsistent or neglectful, even while sensing that when this presence does show itself, its true form is deeper and stranger than ordinary care.
The verse
कां जी वाढविलें । न लगतां हें उगलें ॥१॥ आतां मानितां कांटाळा । भोवतीं मिळालिया बाळा ॥ध्रु.॥ लावूनियां सवे । पळतां दिसाल बरवे ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे बापा । येतां न कळा चि रूपा ॥३॥ ॥३॥
Literal translation
Why did you grow [me] — when not-touched, [I was] left-alone. Now you're bored — children gathered around. Having attached [them] to yourself — fleeing — you'd look fine. Tuka says: father — when you come, the form isn't even known. ॥3॥
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| कां जी वाढविलें | "why did you grow [me]" |
| न लगतां हें उगलें | "when not-touched, [I was] left-alone" |
| आतां मानितां कांटाळा | "now you're bored" |
| भोवतीं मिळालिया बाळा | "children gathered around" |
| लावूनियां सवे | "having attached [them] to yourself" |
| पळतां दिसाल बरवे | "fleeing — you'd look fine [sarcastic]" |
| तुका म्हणे बापा | "Tuka says — father" |
| येतां न कळा चि रूपा | "when you come, the form isn't even known" |
| ॥३॥ | colophon — closes 3-abhang sub-cluster |
What it means
Why-grow-me-only-to-be-bored + fleeing-after-attaching abhang. Ends with ॥३॥ — closes 3-abhang sub-cluster.
The opening — why-grow-me: kām jī vāḍhavilē — na lagatām hē ugalē — why did you grow [me] — when not-touched, [I was] left-alone. If-not-touched, I-was-left-alone; why-then did-you-grow-me?
The bored-parent image: ātām mānitām kāmṭāḷā — bhōvatīm miḷāliyā bāḷā — now you're bored — children gathered around. Now the-parent-(Lord) is-bored once-the-children-(bhaktas)-have-gathered-around. (= typical-of-a-parent who-creates-then-becomes-bored.)
The sarcastic-fleeing: lāvūniyām savē — paḷatām disāla baravē — having attached [them] to yourself — fleeing — you'd look fine. Having-attached-the-children, now fleeing — you'd-look-good doing-that-(sarcastic).
The closing — form-not-known: Tukā mhaṇē bāpā — yētām na kaḷā chi rūpā — Tuka says: father — when you come, the form isn't even known. Father — when-you-come, your-form isn't-even-known. (= the form-when-you-arrive is so-elusive that-it's-not-recognized.)
The ॥३॥ colophon closes a 3-abhang sub-cluster, continuing the editorial-numbering practice.
[T]
For someone today
For today: why did you grow me — left alone if not touched; now bored — children gathered around; having attached, fleeing — you'd look fine; Tuka says — father — when you come, form isn't even known.
Where this applies
- When you feel raised up or invested in, only to be left alone and neglected afterward
- When you notice someone seems more interested in starting things than caring for them once they exist
- When you feel comfortable voicing real frustration at inconsistent care instead of staying silently hurt
- When a presence you had almost given up on shows up in a way that feels unexpectedly strange or hard to recognize