Abhanga 2456
Tukaram fears that growing wiser or more capable will make the divine mother distance herself from him, and he begs that it not happen.
The verse
जाणतें लेकरूं । माता लागे दूर धरूं ॥१॥ तैसें न करीं कृपावंते । पांडुरंगे माझे माते ॥ध्रु.॥ नाहीं मुक्ताफळा । भेटी मागुती त्या जळा ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे लोणी । ताक सांडी निवडूनि ॥३॥
Literal translation
Knowing child — mother begins to keep distant. Don't do this kṛpāvantē — Pāṇḍurangē my mother. The pearl — doesn't meet the water again. Tuka says: butter — buttermilk discards after separation.
What it means
THE KNOWING-CHILD-MOTHER-DISTANT-WORRY ABHANG.
The knowing-child: jāṇatē lēkarūm — mātā lāgē dūra dharūm — knowing child — mother begins to keep distant. The child who-becomes-knowing (= grows-up), the mother begins-to-keep-at-a-distance. The bhakta's-fear: I-don't-want-to-become-too-knowing such-that-you-distance-me. Compare the dialectic of-bhakta-as-child (cf. 2401's chitta-on-play, 2411's child-can-sit-back-turned).
The pearl-water: nāhīm muktāphaḷā — bhēṭī māgutī tyā jaḷā — the pearl doesn't meet the water again. Once-the-pearl-is-formed (in the oyster), it-doesn't-return-to-the-water. Once-separated, no-return — a worry about-separation-from-the-Mother.
[T]
For someone today
For today: knowing child — mother keeps distant; don't do this, Pāṇḍurangē my mother; pearl doesn't return to water.
Where this applies
- When you worry that becoming more capable or independent will make someone you love pull away from you
- When you fear that spiritual growth or maturity might cost you the closeness you once had with the divine
- When you feel like you're being treated with more distance just because you seem to be coping fine on your own
- When you want to ask for continued closeness even as you grow and change