Abhanga 2957
Even exhausted, angry protest at God's silence is a valid form of devotion, you don't have to hide your frustration to keep calling out in love.
The verse
विठ्ठला विठ्ठला । कंठ आळवितां फुटला ॥१॥
कई कृपा करिसी नेणें । मज दीनाचें धांवणें ॥ध्रु.॥
जाल्या येरझारा । जन्मां बहुतांचा फेरा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे नष्टा । अबोलण्या तुझ्या चेष्टा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Viṭhṭhalā Viṭhṭhalā — (O) Viṭhṭhal, Viṭhṭhal; kaṇṭha āḷavitām phuṭalā — (my)kaṇṭha(throat) has burst fromāḷavaṇe(pleading-calling). Kaī krpā karisī neṇe — when will (you) showkrpā— (I) don't know; maja dīnāñce dhāvaṇe — (of) me, thedīna'srunning (toward you). Jālyā yera-jhārā — (there) have beenyera-jhārā(back-and-forth-comings); janmām bahutāñcā pheṛā — (in) births of manypheṛā(cycles). Tukā says: naṣṭā — (O)naṣṭa(destroyer, cruel-one); abōlaṇyā tujhyā cheṣṭā — yourabōlaṇyā(silence, non-speaking) is (your)cheṣṭā(play, taunting-sport).
What it means
A short throat-broken-yearning verse. Viṭhṭhalā Viṭhṭhalā — kaṇṭha āḷavitām phuṭalā — Viṭṭhal, Viṭṭhal — throat has burst from pleading. The opening-image: the bhakta has called-the-Name so-much that the throat has burst.
Kaī krpā karisī neṇe — maja dīnāñce dhāvaṇe — when will you show krpā — I don't know — the dīna's running. The yearning: the dīna is running (after the Lord); when-will-krpā-come?
Jālyā yera-jhārā — janmām bahutāñcā pheṛā — many back-and-forth-comings — many birth-cycles. The exhaustion-confession: many-lives have-been-spent-in-this-running.
The close: Tukā mhaṇe naṣṭā — abōlaṇyā tujhyā cheṣṭā — cruel-one — your silence is your taunting-play. The bhakta's-protest: the Lord's-silence is itself a cheṣṭā (taunting-play). The bold-naming: naṣṭa (destroyer, cruel) — directed-at-the-Lord. (Pairs with 2842 mother-cuts-throat-who-saves-baby.)
For someone today
Tukaram cries out, "Vitthal, Vitthal!" until his throat feels like it has burst from pleading. He confesses he doesn't know when the Lord's grace will finally come, even as he, in his lowliness, keeps running toward him. He has been through this same exhausting cycle over and over, lifetime after lifetime. In raw frustration, he even calls the Lord cruel — saying his silence feels like nothing but a taunt. This honest anger is itself a form of devotion: you don't need to hide your frustration to keep calling out in love.
मराठी: तुकाराम 'विठ्ठला, विठ्ठला' अशी हाक मारतात, इतकी की जणू आर्जव करून करून त्यांचा कंठ फुटल्यासारखा वाटतो. त्यांची कृपा कधी होणार हे आपल्याला माहीत नाही, असे ते कबूल करतात, तरीही आपण दीनासारखे त्याच्या मागे धावतच राहतो. हाच थकवणारा फेरा अनेकानेक जन्मांतून पुन्हा पुन्हा वाट्याला आला आहे. रागाच्या भरात ते देवालाही निष्ठुर म्हणतात — त्याचे मौन म्हणजे जणू टवाळीच वाटते, असे ते सांगतात. हा प्रामाणिक राग हीदेखील भक्तीचीच एक रूप आहे — प्रेमाने हाक मारत राहण्यासाठी आपली निराशा लपवावी लागत नाही.
Where this applies
- When you have prayed or asked for help so long and so hard that you feel worn out and unheard
- When you feel angry at God or at life for staying silent through your suffering
- When you sense you've been struggling through the same difficulty over and over across many years
- When you need permission to voice raw frustration honestly instead of pretending everything is calm