Abhanga 4451
Real relationship and real wisdom depend on genuine shared warmth, not formality or reputation, without that oneness of feeling everything decays or turns out hollow.
The verse
उभय भाग्यवंत तरी च समान । स्थळीं समाधान तरी च राहे ॥१॥
युक्तीचें गौरव नसतां जिव्हाळा । सांचवणी जळा परी नाश ॥ध्रु.॥
लोखंडा परीस ज्ञानिया तो शठ । नांवाचा पालट दगड खरा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे अवघे विनोदाचे ठाव । एकात्मक भाव नाहीं तेथें ॥३॥
Literal translation
Both-bhāgyavanta-only-then-equal — sthala-samādhāna-only-then-stays. Yukti-gaurava-without-jivhāḷā — saved-water-perishes. Iron-paris-jñānī-śaṭha — name-change-stone-real. Tukā: all-vinōda-where-ekātmaka-bhāva-absent.
What it means
A 4-verse relationship-essence text. Both must be fortunate — only then are they equal — at the relationship-locus, peace only-then stays. The honoring-of-mere-formality without heart-warmth — is like saved-up water — it perishes anyway. Iron (treated as) philosopher's-stone — so is the jñānī who is cunning-hollow — it is merely a change-of-name — truly a stone. Tukā says: all are merely places of amusement — where one-soul-feeling is not present. The diagnosis: ekātmaka bhāva (identity-of-essence) is the criterion for-real-relationship and real-jñāna. Without it, yukti-gaurava (formal-honoring) decays like-saved-water; a śaṭha jñānī without paris-touch is just-a-stone-with-the-name-changed. Pair with 4292 (bole-taisā-chāle).
For someone today
A real relationship needs both people to be equally invested and fortunate in it, otherwise the peace it should bring never actually settles in. Politeness and formal courtesy without real warmth is like water put away in a jar, it looks fine but it will spoil anyway. In the same way, a person who has a reputation for wisdom but is secretly cunning or hollow inside is just iron with a new name, not the philosopher's stone people think it is. Tukārām says without that genuine, shared feeling of oneness, everything is just play acting.
मराठी: खऱ्या नात्यासाठी दोघांचेही मन तितकेच गुंतलेले असावे लागते, नाहीतर त्यातून खरी शांती कधीच मिळत नाही. आपुलकीशिवाय केवळ औपचारिक सभ्यता म्हणजे साठवून ठेवलेल्या पाण्यासारखी असते, वरून ठीक दिसते पण ती शेवटी खराब होतेच. त्याचप्रमाणे, शहाणपणाची ख्याती असलेला पण आतून धूर्त व पोकळ असणारा माणूस म्हणजे फक्त नाव बदललेले लोखंड असते, खरा परीस नव्हे. तुकाराम म्हणतात, एकात्मतेची खरी भावना नसेल तर सगळे केवळ नाटक ठरते.
Where this applies
- When a relationship has become polite and routine but the real warmth has quietly drained out of it
- When a friendship or partnership looks fine on the surface but something underneath feels missing
- When someone is praised as wise or spiritual but their actions don't match that reputation
- When you're trying to tell whether a bond will hold up in hard times or only survives while things are easy