Abhanga 529

Voice your honest protest when silence from someone you trust feels humiliating, since even a negative acknowledgment would be better than being utterly ignored.

The verse

Literal translation

What it means

A why-no-word-from-You-deep-cloak-You-don't-call abhang. Strong-protest register. Three claims:

1. कां हो देवा कांहीं न बोला चि गोष्टी — कां मज हिंपुटी करीतसा — why deva — speak no gōṣṭi? — why make me himpuṭī? The opening-protest: why, deva — speak not agōṣṭi(word, matter)?; why are You making mehimpuṭī(broken-humbled, brought-low)? Silence-as-humiliation-protest.

2. कंठीं प्राण पाहें वचनाची आस — तों दिसे उदास धरिलें ऐसें — kamṭha — prāṇa — vacana-āsa — appears udāsa — held-back. The prāṇa-in-throat-claim: theprāṇa(life-breath) is in thekamṭha(throat = at-the-point-of-leaving); waiting (pāhē) theāsa(hope) ofvacana(Your-word); but You appearudāsa(indifferent / withdrawn) — holding-back like-this. Prāṇa-at-throat-waiting-for-Your-word-but-You-are-distant.

3. येणें काळें बुंथी घेतलीसे खोल — कां नये विटाळ होऊं माझा — लाज वाटे मज म्हणवितां देवाचा — न पुससी फुकाचा — deep bumthī — why no viṭāḷa for You? — lajjā being called Yours — You don't ask phukā. The closing-protest: thiskāḷa(time) has put on (ghētalīsē) a deepbumthī(cloak, hood, veil); why don't I become aviṭāḷa(impure-touch / contaminating-contact) for You?; I feellajjā(shame) being called Yours; You don't ask thephukā(the for-nothing-one, the free-of-charge-petitioner). Three-fold-protest: deva-cloaked-in-distance; bhakta's-touch-not-feared (which would be a kind of acknowledgement); shame-of-being-called-Yours-without-Your-asking. The viṭāḷa-claim is striking: even contamination-by-touch would be a relationship; but the deva is so-distant that even that doesn't happen.

[T]

For someone today

This abhang is Tukaram's raw complaint about feeling completely ignored. He asks why God won't speak even one word, and why silence is being used to humble and humiliate him. He says his life itself feels caught in his throat as he waits and waits for a reply, but all he meets is a cold, withdrawn distance. He pushes the protest further, saying that even being treated as something unclean or contaminating would at least be a kind of contact, because right now he doesn't even get that; he feels ashamed calling himself God's own when God does not even bother to ask after him for free. The lesson is that it is honest and human to voice anger and hurt when someone you trust goes silent on you, rather than swallowing that pain quietly.

मराठी: ही ओवी तुकारामांची अगदी थेट तक्रार आहे, पूर्णपणे दुर्लक्षित झाल्यासारखे वाटण्याची. ते विचारतात की देव एक शब्दही का बोलत नाही, आणि हे मौन त्यांना खाली दाबण्यासाठी का वापरले जात आहे. ते म्हणतात की त्यांचा जीव जणू घशातच अडकला आहे, उत्तराची वाट पाहत असताना, पण त्यांना फक्त थंड, दूरचा प्रतिसाद मिळतो. ते तक्रार पुढे नेत म्हणतात की निदान अस्पर्श किंवा विटाळ मानले गेले तरी तेही एक प्रकारचे नाते ठरले असते, कारण सध्या तेही मिळत नाही; देवाचा म्हणवून घेताना त्यांना लाज वाटते, कारण देव फुकटातही त्यांची विचारपूस करत नाही. यातून हा धडा मिळतो की जेव्हा विश्वास ठेवलेली व्यक्ती अचानक गप्प होते, तेव्हा तो राग आणि दुखः शांतपणे गिळण्याऐवजी प्रामाणिकपणे व्यक्त करणे स्वाभाविक आणि योग्य आहे.

Where this applies

• Why no gōṣṭi? Silence-protest.
• Prāṇa at throat. Depth-of-waiting.
• Viṭāḷa not feared. Lowest-recognition.
• Phukā not asked. Lowest-point.

Related verses

• Abhanga 2467 — What looks like your whole world, like a fig to the insect living inside it, is only a tin
• Abhanga 4481 — Tukaram promises that sincerely calling on the Lord's name, knowingly or unknowingly, with
• Abhanga 4482 — Tukaram teaches that no ritual equals sincerely speaking the Lord's name, that self-center
• Abhanga 4497 — Tukaram describes a life so soaked in devotion that Krishna's presence fills every ordinar