Abhanga 567
Even a devoted person can voice raw exhaustion, anger, and doubt about hardship without pretending everything feels holy or resolved.
The verse
काय नेणों होता दावेदार मेला । वैर तो साधिला होउनि गोहो ॥१॥ किती सर्वकाळ सोसावें हें दुःख । किती लोकां मुख वासूं तरीं ॥ध्रु.॥ झवे आपुली आई काय माझें केलें । धड या विठ्ठलें संसाराचें ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे येती बाईले असडे । फुंदोनियां रडे हांसे कांहीं ॥३॥
Literal translation
Don't know — dāvēdāra died — vaira — by becoming gōhō. How long — bear duḥkha? — to how many — open mouth? (harsh-curse) — what was done to me — well — by Viṭṭhal — of samsāra? Tuka says: bāīla comes — asaḍē — fumdōnīyām cries — laughs sometimes.
मराठी: काय नेणों होता दावेदार मेला — वैर तो साधिला होउनि गोहो. किती सर्वकाळ सोसावें हें दुःख — किती लोकां मुख वासूं तरीं?. झवे आपुली आई काय माझें केलें — धड या विठ्ठलें संसाराचें?. तुकाराम म्हणतां — येती बाईले असडे — फुंदोनियां रडे हांसे कांहीं.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| काय नेणों होता दावेदार मेला | "don't know — dāvēdāra — died" |
| वैर तो साधिला होउनि गोहो | "vaira — by becoming gōhō" |
| किती सर्वकाळ सोसावें हें दुःख | "how long — bear duḥkha?" |
| किती लोकां मुख वासूं तरीं | "to how many — open mouth?" |
| झवे आपुली आई काय माझें केलें | "(harsh-curse) — what was done to me" |
| धड या विठ्ठलें संसाराचें | "well — by Viṭṭhal — of samsāra?" |
| तुका म्हणे येती बाईले असडे | "bāīla comes — asaḍē" |
| फुंदोनियां रडे हांसे कांहीं | "fumdōnīyām cries — laughs" |
What it means
A household-distress-bitter-protest abhang. Continues 0566's biographical-poverty-cluster. Three claims:
-
काय नेणों होता दावेदार मेला — वैर तो साधिला होउनि गोहो — don't know — dāvēdāra died — vaira — by becoming gōhō. The opening-past-life-conjecture: I don't know — perhaps adāvēdāra(creditor / lawsuit-claimant) died (with vaira against me); vaira (enmity) — was achieved by becoming gōhō (husband / kinsman, having-married-into-the-family).Past-life-creditor-now-married-to-me-as-revenge.Bitter-conjecture:the present-distress is past-life-creditor's-revenge-through-marriage.
-
किती सर्वकाळ सोसावें हें दुःख — किती लोकां मुख वासूं तरीं — झवे आपुली आई काय माझें केलें — धड या विठ्ठलें संसाराचें — how long bear duḥkha — how many open mouth — (harsh-curse) — well by Viṭṭhal of samsāra? The exasperation-claim: how long can one bear thisduḥkhaalways?; to how many people can I open my mouth (asking for help)?; (harsh-curse) — what has been done to me?; didViṭṭhalreally do well bysamsāra? The bhakta uses harsh curse-language in extreme distress and questions the deva's-arrangement of samsāra. (The harsh phrase shows Tukaram's-honesty: the saint includes even the curse-language of extreme-frustration.)
-
तुका म्हणे येती बाईले असडे — फुंदोनियां रडे हांसे कांहीं — Tuka says: bāīla comes asaḍē — fumdōnīyām cries — laughs sometimes. The closing-wife-image: Tuka says: thebāīla(wife) comes — withasaḍē(a slap, a blow, an angry-blow); fumdōnīyām (sniffling, sobbing) cries — laughs sometimes.Wife's-mood-swings: slap, sob, laugh.Domestic-image-of-emotional-volatility.
[T]
For someone today
Tukaram lets himself say something raw here, wondering half seriously whether some old enemy from a past life came back into his family just to make his life hard, because the hardship feels that relentless. He asks bluntly how much suffering a person can bear, and to how many people he can keep turning for help before it becomes too much, even letting angry, cursing words slip out as he questions whether God really arranged his household well. He ends by describing his wife exactly as she is in these hard days, sometimes striking out in frustration, sometimes sobbing, sometimes laughing despite everything. Nothing here is cleaned up or made to sound holy, it is exhaustion and love tangled together, spoken honestly.
मराठी: इथे तुकाराम एक कच्ची गोष्ट बोलून जातात, अर्धेमुर्धे गंभीरपणे विचार करतात की मागच्या जन्मीचा कोणी जुना शत्रू आता त्यांच्या कुटुंबात परत येऊन त्यांचे आयुष्य कठीण करत आहे का, कारण हे कष्ट इतके सततचे वाटतात. ते स्पष्टपणे विचारतात की माणूस किती दुःख सहन करू शकतो, आणि मदतीसाठी किती लोकांकडे किती वेळा वळावे, इतके की देवाने आपला संसार खरोखर नीट मांडला का असा प्रश्न विचारताना रागाचे, शिव्याशापाचे शब्दही त्यांच्या तोंडून निघतात. शेवटी ते त्यांच्या पत्नीचे या कठीण दिवसांतले खरे चित्र रेखाटतात, कधी रागाने भडकणारी, कधी हुंदके देऊन रडणारी, तर कधी सगळे असूनही हसणारी. इथे काहीही स्वच्छ करून किंवा पवित्र बनवून सांगितलेले नाही, हा थकवा आणि प्रेम एकत्र गुंतलेले आहेत, प्रामाणिकपणे सांगितलेले.
Where this applies
- When exhausting hardship keeps recurring and you find yourself wondering why it always seems to happen to you
- When you are worn down by asking for help again and again and wonder how much more you can take
- When frustration boils over into words you do not feel proud of, even directed at God or fate
- When someone you love shows contradictory emotions under stress, anger, tears, and laughter all in the same difficult stretch