Abhanga 1273
Crying out to the divine in raw desperation, even in protest, is itself an honest and valid form of devotion when you feel abandoned.
The verse
पडियेलों वनीं थोर चिंतवनी । उसीर कां आझूनि लावियेला ॥१॥ येई गा विठ्ठला येईगा विठ्ठला । प्राण हा फुटला आळवितां ॥ध्रु.॥ काय तुज नाहीं लौकिकाची शंका । आपुल्या बाळका मोकलितां ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे बहु खंती वाटे जीवा । धरियेलें देवा दुरी दिसे ॥३॥
Literal translation
I have fallen in the vana with thōra cintavana — why have you set ājhūnī this much usīra? Come, O Viṭṭhalā — come, O Viṭṭhalā — the prāṇa has burst from calling. Don't you have any laukika-śankā — when releasing your own bāḷaka? Tuka says: much khantī to the jīva — having held — Deva looks far.
मराठी: वनांत पडलों — थोर चिंत-वनींत — आझून-हि उसीर कां लावलास? येई गा विठ्ठला, येई गा विठ्ठला! — आळवीत-आळवीत प्राण फुटला. आपल्या बाळकाला सोडतांना — तुला लौकिकाची शंका नाहीं कां? Tukā म्हणे — जीवाला बहु खंती वाटे — धरलें — आणि देव दूर दिसे.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| पडियेलों वनीं थोर चिंतवनी | "I have fallen (paḍiyēlōm) in the vana — with thōra (great) cintavana (worry-forest)" |
| उसीर कां आझूनि लावियेला | "why have you set ājhūnī (this much) usīra (delay)?" |
| येई गा विठ्ठला येईगा विठ्ठला | "come, O Viṭṭhalā — come, O Viṭṭhalā" |
| प्राण हा फुटला आळवितां | "the prāṇa — has burst — from āḷavanī (calling-out)" |
| काय तुज नाहीं लौकिकाची शंका | "don't you have any laukika-śankā (worry about reputation)?" |
| आपुल्या बाळका मोकलितां | "in releasing (mōkalitām) your own bāḷaka (child)?" |
| बहु खंती वाटे जीवा | "much khantī (regret) to the jīva" |
| धरियेलें देवा दुरी दिसे | "having held (you), Deva — (now you) look far" |
What it means
Calling abhang — bhakta in extremis. The opening: paḍiyēlōm vanīm thōra cintavanī — I have fallen in the vana of great worry-forest (cintavana — cintā + vana, the worry-forest). The image is of being lost not in the literal forest but in the forest of worries.
The dhruva is the cry: yē'ī gā Viṭṭhalā yē'ī gā Viṭṭhalā — prāṇa hā phuṭalā āḷavitām — come, Viṭṭhalā, come, Viṭṭhalā — the prāṇa has burst from āḷavanī. Āḷavanī is the formal warkari calling-out of the deity (the way the āḷavaṇa is sung in dhārmic mode); the bhakta has called so long that prāṇa phuṭalā — the very life-breath has burst.
The clinching argument: kāya tuja nāhīm laukikācī śankā — āpulyā bāḷakā mōkalitām? — don't you have any laukika-śankā (worry about your reputation) — in releasing (= abandoning) your own bāḷaka? Hari has names like Anātha-rakṣaka (orphan-protector), Patita-pāvana, Bāḷakācā mātā-pitā (mother-and-father-of-the-child). To abandon his own bāḷaka would damage his own laukika.
The closing — dhariyēlēm Devā durī disē — having held (you), Deva (now you) look far — captures the painful experience: the bhakta has done the holding (1265, 1269), but Hari still appears distant.
[T]
For someone today
For today: when fallen in the cintavana with prāṇa bursting — call twice "yē'ī gā Viṭṭhalā" — Hari's own laukika (his name's reputation) is at stake when he abandons his bāḷaka.
Where this applies
- When you feel utterly lost in worry and call out for help with everything you have
- When you feel abandoned by God or life even though you have held on and stayed faithful
- When you feel too angry or desperate to pray politely and just want to shout the truth of your pain
- When you remind yourself that the one you have trusted has a stake in not letting you down