Abhanga 1781
When even your closest companions and the world around you cannot truly protect you from life's hardest realities, that very failure can push you to place your whole trust in the divine alone.
The verse
सिणलों दातारा करितां वेरझारा । आतां सोडवीं संसारापासोनियां ॥१॥ न सुटे चि बाकी नव्हे झाडापाडा । घातलोंसें खोडा हाडांचिया ॥ध्रु.॥ मायबापें माझीं जीवाचीं सांगाती । तीं देतील हातीं काळाचिया ॥२॥ पडताळूनि सुरी बैसली सेजारीं । यमफासा करीं घेऊनिया ॥३॥ पाठी पोटीं एकें लागलीं सरसीं । नेती नरकापाशीं ओढूनियां ॥४॥ जन साहेभूत असे या सकळां । मी एक निराळा परदेशी ॥५॥ कोणा काकुलती नाहीं कोणे परी । तुजविण हरी कृपाळुवा ॥६॥ तुका म्हणे मज तुझाची भरवसा । म्हणऊनि आशा मोकलिली ॥७॥
Literal translation
I am tired, dātārā, making the to-and-fro — now release me from samsāra. The balance is not cleared — no settlement — I have been put in bone-stocks. Mother-and-father, my companions of the jīva — they will hand me into kāḷa's hands. The knife, checking-and-pressing, has sat down next to me — Yama-phāsa in his hand. From back-and-front, others are stuck close-in-row, dragging me toward naraka. The world witnesses all this — I am one separate, the paradēśī. No pity from anyone in any way — except you, Hari, kṛpāḷuvā. Tuka says: for me, only your trust — therefore I have released (other) hopes.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| सिणलों दातारा करितां वेरझारा | "I am tired, dātārā — making — the to-and-fro (vēra-jhārā)" |
| आतां सोडवीं संसारापासोनियां | "now — release me — from samsāra" |
| न सुटे चि बाकी नव्हे झाडापाडा | "the balance is not cleared — no settlement" |
| घातलोंसें खोडा हाडांचिया | "I have been put — in stocks — of bones" |
| मायबापें माझीं जीवाचीं सांगाती | "mother-and-father — my — companions of the jīva" |
| तीं देतील हातीं काळाचिया | "they will hand me over — into the hands — of kāḷa (death)" |
| पडताळूनि सुरी बैसली सेजारीं | "the knife (surī) — checking-and-pressing — has sat down — next to me" |
| यमफासा करीं घेऊनिया | "Yama-phāsa (the noose-of-Yama) — taking in (his) hand" |
| पाठी पोटीं एकें लागलीं सरसीं | "from-back-and-from-belly — (others) are stuck — in-row" |
| नेती नरकापाशीं ओढूनियां | "they take me — toward naraka — dragging" |
| जन साहेभूत असे या सकळां | "the world — is the witness-being — for all of these" |
| मी एक निराळा परदेशी | "I am one — separate — the paradēśī (foreign-stranger)" |
| कोणा काकुलती नाहीं कोणे परी | "to anyone — no pity — in any way" |
| तुजविण हरी कृपाळुवा | "except you — Hari — kṛpāḷu (compassionate)" |
| तुका म्हणे मज तुझाची भरवसा | "Tuka says — for me — only your — trust" |
| म्हणऊनि आशा मोकलिली | "therefore — I have released — (other) hopes" |
What it means
I-am-the-paradēśī-only-Hari abhang. A fierce-bleak meditation on the radical-loneliness of the bhakta-in-samsāra.
The opening: siṇalōm dātārā karitām vēra-jhārā — ātām sōḍavīm samsārā-pāsōniyām — I am tired, dātāra, with the to-and-fro — release me now from samsāra. Vēra-jhārā = the back-and-forth-shuttling (= the rebirth-cycle's repeated-trips).
The bone-stocks image: na suṭē chi bākī navhē jhāḍā-pāḍā — ghātalōm-sē khōḍā hāḍāñciyā — the balance is not cleared, no settlement — I have been put in bone-stocks. Bākī = balance / debt-balance; jhāḍā-pāḍā = the clearing / final-settlement; khōḍā = the stocks / wooden-restraints (the medieval-prison-device); hāḍāñciyā = of bones. I am-locked in bone-stocks (= the skeleton-body) until-the-karma-balance clears.
The mother-father betrayal: māya-bāpēm mājhīm jīvācīm sāngātī — tīm dētīla hātīm kāḷācīyā — mother-father, my companions of the jīva — they will hand me into kāḷa's hands. Even the closest-companions (parents) ultimately deliver-the-jīva to death.
The knife and Yama-phāsa: paḍatāḷūni surī baisalī sējārīm — Yamaphāsa karīm ghē'ūniyā — the knife checking-and-pressing has sat down next — Yama-phāsa in his hand. Surī = the slaughter-knife (= the death-cutter); paḍatāḷūni = checking, weighing; Yama-phāsa = the noose-of-Yama. Death sits-next-to-the-bhakta-with-the-tools-of-trade.
The dragging-to-naraka: pāṭhīm pōṭīm ēkēm lāgalīm sarasīm — nētī narakāpāśīm ōḍhūniyām — from-back-and-from-belly, others stuck close-in-row, drag me toward naraka. Pāṭhīm pōṭīm = back-and-front (= all sides); sarasīm = closely-strung-together. The companions-and-relations all-drag toward naraka. (= worldly-relations are not safe-companions.)
The paradēśī-line: jana sāhē-bhūta asē yā sakaḷām — mī ēka nirāḷā paradēśī — the world witnesses all of this — I am one separate, the paradēśī. Sāhē-bhūta = witness-being; paradēśī = foreigner, alien-traveler. The bhakta is a foreigner-in-the-world — the world only witnesses; it doesn't shelter. (Strikingly-modern existential-loneliness.)
The closing: kōṇā kākulatī nāhīm kōṇē parī — tujavīṇa Hari kṛpāḷuvā + Tukā mhaṇē maja tujhā chi bharavasā — āśā mōkalilī — no pity from anyone except you, Hari kṛpāḷuvā; Tuka says — only your trust — I have released (other) hopes. Bharavasā = trust, surety; āśā mōkalilī = I have released (other) hopes. Only-Hari-is-trustworthy; all-other-hopes have-been-released.
This abhang is one of the bleakest portraits of samsāra in the gatha, paired with one of the most-explicit declarations of paradēśī-bhakta-identity. The bhakta is a foreigner-in-his-own-world; only-Hari is the homeland.
[T]
For someone today
For today: I am tired, dātāra, doing the back-and-forth — now release me from samsāra; the balance isn't cleared, no settlement — I'm locked in bone-stocks; mother-father, my companions, will hand me to death; the knife sits next, Yama-phāsa in hand; front and back, others drag me toward naraka; the world only witnesses — I am the foreign-stranger; no pity from anyone except you, Hari kṛpāḷuvā; Tuka says — only your trust — I have released other hopes.
Where this applies
- When you feel utterly alone even while surrounded by family and people who are supposed to be close to you
- When you sense that no person or plan can actually save you from what is coming, however much they care
- When exhaustion with everyday struggle makes you want to stop chasing every worldly hope
- When you have tried everyone and everything for comfort and only faith is left standing