Abhanga 1781
For today: I am tired, dātāra, doing the back-and-forth — now release me from samsāra; the balance isn't cleared, no settlement — I'm locked in bone-stocks; mother-father, my companions, will hand me to death; the knife sits next, Yama-phāsa in hand; front and back, others drag me toward naraka; the world only witnesses — I am the foreign-stranger; no pity from anyone except you, Hari kṛpāḷuvā; Tuka says — only your trust — I have released other hopes.
The verse
सिणलों दातारा करितां वेरझारा । आतां सोडवीं संसारापासोनियां ॥१॥ न सुटे चि बाकी नव्हे झाडापाडा । घातलोंसें खोडा हाडांचिया ॥ध्रु.॥ मायबापें माझीं जीवाचीं सांगाती । तीं देतील हातीं काळाचिया ॥२॥ पडताळूनि सुरी बैसली सेजारीं । यमफासा करीं घेऊनिया ॥३॥ पाठी पोटीं एकें लागलीं सरसीं । नेती नरकापाशीं ओढूनियां ॥४॥ जन साहेभूत असे या सकळां । मी एक निराळा परदेशी ॥५॥ कोणा काकुलती नाहीं कोणे परी । तुजविण हरी कृपाळुवा ॥६॥ तुका म्हणे मज तुझाची भरवसा । म्हणऊनि आशा मोकलिली ॥७॥
Literal translation
English: I am tired, dātārā, making the to-and-fro — now release me from samsāra. The balance is not cleared — no settlement — I have been put in bone-stocks. Mother-and-father, my companions of the jīva — they will hand me into kāḷa's hands. The knife, checking-and-pressing, has sat down next to me — Yama-phāsa in his hand. From back-and-front, others are stuck close-in-row, dragging me toward naraka. The world witnesses all this — I am one separate, the paradēśī. No pity from anyone in any way — except you, Hari, kṛpāḷuvā. Tuka says: for me, only your trust — therefore I have released (other) hopes.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| सिणलों दातारा करितां वेरझारा | "I am tired, dātārā — making — the to-and-fro (vēra-jhārā)" |
| आतां सोडवीं संसारापासोनियां | "now — release me — from samsāra" |
| न सुटे चि बाकी नव्हे झाडापाडा | "the balance is not cleared — no settlement" |
| घातलोंसें खोडा हाडांचिया | "I have been put — in stocks — of bones" |
| मायबापें माझीं जीवाचीं सांगाती | "mother-and-father — my — companions of the jīva" |
| तीं देतील हातीं काळाचिया | "they will hand me over — into the hands — of kāḷa (death)" |
| पडताळूनि सुरी बैसली सेजारीं | "the knife (surī) — checking-and-pressing — has sat down — next to me" |
| यमफासा करीं घेऊनिया | "Yama-phāsa (the noose-of-Yama) — taking in (his) hand" |
| पाठी पोटीं एकें लागलीं सरसीं | "from-back-and-from-belly — (others) are stuck — in-row" |
| नेती नरकापाशीं ओढूनियां | "they take me — toward naraka — dragging" |
| जन साहेभूत असे या सकळां | "the world — is the witness-being — for all of these" |
| मी एक निराळा परदेशी | "I am one — separate — the paradēśī (foreign-stranger)" |
| कोणा काकुलती नाहीं कोणे परी | "to anyone — no pity — in any way" |
| तुजविण हरी कृपाळुवा | "except you — Hari — kṛpāḷu (compassionate)" |
| तुका म्हणे मज तुझाची भरवसा | "Tuka says — for me — only your — trust" |
| म्हणऊनि आशा मोकलिली | "therefore — I have released — (other) hopes" |
What it means
I-am-the-paradēśī-only-Hari abhang. A fierce-bleak meditation on the radical-loneliness of the bhakta-in-samsāra.
The opening: siṇalōm dātārā karitām vēra-jhārā — ātām sōḍavīm samsārā-pāsōniyām — I am tired, dātāra, with the to-and-fro — release me now from samsāra. Vēra-jhārā = the back-and-forth-shuttling (= the rebirth-cycle's repeated-trips).
The bone-stocks image: na suṭē chi bākī navhē jhāḍā-pāḍā — ghātalōm-sē khōḍā hāḍāñciyā — the balance is not cleared, no settlement — I have been put in bone-stocks. Bākī = balance / debt-balance; jhāḍā-pāḍā = the clearing / final-settlement; khōḍā = the stocks / wooden-restraints (the medieval-prison-device); hāḍāñciyā = of bones. I am-locked in bone-stocks (= the skeleton-body) until-the-karma-balance clears.
The mother-father betrayal: māya-bāpēm mājhīm jīvācīm sāngātī — tīm dētīla hātīm kāḷācīyā — mother-father, my companions of the jīva — they will hand me into kāḷa's hands. Even the closest-companions (parents) ultimately deliver-the-jīva to death.
The knife and Yama-phāsa: paḍatāḷūni surī baisalī sējārīm — Yamaphāsa karīm ghē'ūniyā — the knife checking-and-pressing has sat down next — Yama-phāsa in his hand. Surī = the slaughter-knife (= the death-cutter); paḍatāḷūni = checking, weighing; Yama-phāsa = the noose-of-Yama. Death sits-next-to-the-bhakta-with-the-tools-of-trade.
The dragging-to-naraka: pāṭhīm pōṭīm ēkēm lāgalīm sarasīm — nētī narakāpāśīm ōḍhūniyām — from-back-and-from-belly, others stuck close-in-row, drag me toward naraka. Pāṭhīm pōṭīm = back-and-front (= all sides); sarasīm = closely-strung-together. The companions-and-relations all-drag toward naraka. (= worldly-relations are not safe-companions.)
The paradēśī-line: jana sāhē-bhūta asē yā sakaḷām — mī ēka nirāḷā paradēśī — the world witnesses all of this — I am one separate, the paradēśī. Sāhē-bhūta = witness-being; paradēśī = foreigner, alien-traveler. The bhakta is a foreigner-in-the-world — the world only witnesses; it doesn't shelter. (Strikingly-modern existential-loneliness.)
The closing: kōṇā kākulatī nāhīm kōṇē parī — tujavīṇa Hari kṛpāḷuvā + Tukā mhaṇē maja tujhā chi bharavasā — āśā mōkalilī — no pity from anyone except you, Hari kṛpāḷuvā; Tuka says — only your trust — I have released (other) hopes. Bharavasā = trust, surety; āśā mōkalilī = I have released (other) hopes. Only-Hari-is-trustworthy; all-other-hopes have-been-released.
This abhang is one of the bleakest portraits of samsāra in the gatha, paired with one of the most-explicit declarations of paradēśī-bhakta-identity. The bhakta is a foreigner-in-his-own-world; only-Hari is the homeland.
[T]
For someone today
For today: I am tired, dātāra, doing the back-and-forth — now release me from samsāra; the balance isn't cleared, no settlement — I'm locked in bone-stocks; mother-father, my companions, will hand me to death; the knife sits next, Yama-phāsa in hand; front and back, others drag me toward naraka; the world only witnesses — I am the foreign-stranger; no pity from anyone except you, Hari kṛpāḷuvā; Tuka says — only your trust — I have released other hopes.
Where this applies
- Tired-of-samsāra-back-and-forth-release.* Siṇalōm-vēra-jhārā-samsāra-sōḍavīm.
- Bone-stocks-balance-not-cleared.* Khōḍā-hāḍa-bākī-na.
- Mother-father-hand-me-to-Yama.* Mā-bāpa-kāḷa-hātīm.
- Knife-Yama-phāsa-drag-toward-naraka.* Surī-Yamaphāsa-naraka-ōḍhū.
- I-am-paradēśī-only-Hari-trust.* Paradēśī-Hari-bharavasā-āśā-mōkalilī.