Abhanga 1837
When God feels distant, the real gap is usually not God withdrawing but your own unsteady mind failing to feel a presence that never left.
The verse
जाय परतें काय आणिला कांटाळा । बोला एक वेळा ऐसें तरी ॥१॥ कां हो केलें तुम्ही निष्ठ देवा । मानेना हे सेवा करितों ते ॥ध्रु.॥ भाग्यवंत त्यांसी सांगितल्या गोष्टी । तें नाहीं अदृष्टीं आमुचिया ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे तुम्हापासूनि अंतर । न पडे नाहीं स्थिर बुद्धि माझी ॥३॥
Literal translation
Go away — what tedium have you brought? — speak just one time, even thus. Why have you become staunch, deva? — the service I do isn't accepted. The bhāgyavantas — to them, the things have been told — that's not in our adṛṣṭa. Tuka says: separation from you does not fall — no, my buddhi is not steady.
Word-by-word gloss
| Marathi | Meaning |
|---|---|
| जाय परतें काय आणिला कांटाळा | "go away — what tedium — have you brought (kāṇṭāḷā)" |
| बोला एक वेळा ऐसें तरी | "speak — just one time — even thus" |
| कां हो केलें तुम्ही निष्ठ देवा | "why — have you become — staunch / cold (niṣṭha) — deva" |
| मानेना हे सेवा करितों ते | "this service I do — isn't accepted" |
| भाग्यवंत त्यांसी सांगितल्या गोष्टी | "the bhāgyavantas — to them — the things have been told" |
| तें नाहीं अदृष्टीं आमुचिया | "that is not — in our adṛṣṭa" |
| तुका म्हणे तुम्हापासूनि अंतर | "Tuka says — from you — separation" |
| न पडे नाहीं स्थिर बुद्धि माझी | "does not fall — no, my buddhi is not steady" |
What it means
Plead-for-response + admit-unsteady-buddhi abhang.
The opening: jāya paratē kāya āṇilā kāṇṭāḷā — bōlā ēka vēḷā aisē tarī — go away — what tedium have you brought? — speak just one time, even thus. Kāṇṭāḷā = tedium / boredom / dullness. An exasperated-but-tender plea: if-you-want, go-away — but at-least-speak-once before-going.
The cold-staunch line: kām hō kēlē tumhī niṣṭha dēvā — mānēnā hē sēvā karitōm tē — why have you become staunch, deva? — the service I do isn't accepted. Niṣṭha = staunch — here ironically: fixed-in-cold-aloofness; mānēnā = isn't-accepted. You have-become-unmoved; my-service is-not-being-accepted.
The bhāgyavanta-line: bhāgyavanta tyānsī sāngitalyā gōṣṭī — tē nāhīm adṛṣṭīm āmuciyā — the bhāgyavantas — to them, the things have been told — that's not in our adṛṣṭa. Bhāgyavanta = the fortunate; adṛṣṭa = the unseen-fate / luck. The fortunate-bhaktas were-told-the-things; that's-not-in-our-adṛṣṭa. (= the bhakta laments his apparent-exclusion from the inner-circle.)
The closing-confession: Tukā mhaṇē tumhāpāsūni antara — na paḍē nāhīm sthira buddhi mājhī — Tuka says: separation from you does not fall — no, my buddhi is not steady. Important clarification: the actual-separation-from-you doesn't-actually-fall (= I'm not-actually-separated); but-my-buddhi-is-not-steady (= I-feel-separation because-of-my-unsteady-buddhi). The problem-is-internal, not-external.
The implicit-message: the bhakta acknowledges that the apparent-coldness-of-the-Lord is-actually-the-bhakta's-own-buddhi-instability; the deva-isn't-actually-separated; my-buddhi-just-isn't-steady-enough to-feel-the-presence.
This abhang has nuanced self-awareness: the bhakta starts-with-complaint, blames-the-Lord, then-pulls-back to-acknowledge that the issue-is-his-own-unsteady-buddhi.
[T]
For someone today
For today: go away — (but) what tedium have you brought? — speak just one time, even thus; why have you become staunch, deva? — the service I do isn't accepted; the bhāgyavantas — to them, the things have been told — that's not in our adṛṣṭa; Tuka says — separation from you doesn't fall — no, my buddhi is not steady.
Where this applies
- When you feel abandoned by God or life and want an explanation before you can move on
- When you compare your spiritual progress to others who seem more fortunate or favored
- When you catch yourself blaming an outside force for a distance that is really your own restlessness
- When your prayers feel unanswered and you assume it means you've been rejected rather than that your own mind is unsettled