संत साहित्य · Tukārām · Abhanga 3612 of 4582

Abhanga 3612

The distance you feel from those who love you is usually of your own making, and their anxious, restless love for you never actually stops.

When you realize you distanced yourself from someone kind because of your own choices, not theirs

When you find yourself sulking or upset without fully understanding why

When you imagine someone who loves you standing restlessly, worried, while you're far away

The verse

बहु कृपावंते माझीं मायबापें । मी माझ्या संकल्पें अंतरलों ॥१॥ संचितानें नाहीं चुकों दिली वाट । लाविलें अदट मजसवें ॥ध्रु.॥ आतां मी रुसतों न कळतां वर्म । परी ठावे धर्म सर्व देवा ॥२॥ तुका म्हणे उभा राहिला न बैसे । आमची माय असे उद्वेग त्या ॥३॥

Literal translation

My-māyabāpa-krpā-vantē — distanced-by-my-sankalpa. Samchita-didn't-let-me-miss — laid-adaṭa. Sulking-without-varma — dharma-known-to-you. Tukā: stands-not-sits — our-māya-in-udvēga.

What it means

A 3-verse text. My parents are very kind; I distanced myself by my own sankalpa; samchita kept me from missing the path; I'm sulking without knowing the secret — but you know everything; our mother stands not-sitting in anxious-longing for the (lost) one.

For someone today

Tukārām admits that his parents, standing in for the divine, are deeply kind, and that any distance between them was caused by his own choices and resolve, not theirs. He notices that his accumulated past actions kept him from losing the path entirely, though it left him with a kind of debt still to work through. Now he finds himself sulking without even understanding why, but he trusts that the deeper truth of it is fully known to the divine. He closes with a vivid image, the mother won't even sit down, she stands restlessly, anxiously waiting and worrying for the child who has wandered off.

मराठी: तुकाराम कबूल करतात की त्यांचे मायबाप, जे देवाचं प्रतीक आहेत, खूप कृपाळू आहेत, आणि त्यांच्यातलं अंतर स्वतःच्या निर्णयामुळे, स्वतःच्या हट्टामुळे निर्माण झालं आहे, त्यांच्यामुळे नाही. त्यांच्या लक्षात येतं की जुन्या संचिताने त्यांना वाट पूर्णपणे चुकू दिली नाही, तरी त्यातून एक प्रकारचं ऋण मागे राहिलं आहे जे अजून फेडायचं आहे. आता ते का रुसले आहेत हे स्वतःलाही नीट कळत नाही, पण याचं खरं रहस्य देवाला पूर्ण माहीत आहे यावर त्यांचा विश्वास आहे. शेवटी ते एक जिवंत चित्र उभं करतात, आई बसतही नाही, ती उभीच राहते, भरकटलेल्या मुलासाठी अस्वस्थ, काळजीने वाट पाहत.

Where this applies

Tukārām's krpā-vantē-māyabāpa; māya-in-udvēga canonical

Autobiographical