Abhanga 3875
Every-āḷī-vain — only-śrama-remains.
The verse
जेजे आळी केली तेते गेली वांयां । उरला पंढरिराया श्रम माझा ॥१॥
काय समाधान केलें कोण वेळे । कोणें माझे लळे पाळियेले ॥ध्रु.॥
अभ्यास तो नाहीं स्वप्नीं ही दुश्चिता । प्रत्यक्ष कैंचा चि तो ॥२॥
आतां पुढें लाज वाटे पांडुरंगा । भक्त ऐसें जगामाजी जालें ॥३॥
तुका म्हणे आतां नाहीं भरवसा । मोकलिसी ऐसा वाटतोसी ॥४॥
Literal translation
Every-āḷī-vain — only-śrama-remains. What-samādhāna — who-played-with-my-laḷē. No-abhyāsa — not-even-svapna-duścita — no-pratyakṣa. Lāja — known-as-bhakta-in-the-world. Tukā: no-bharavasā — looks-like-you'll-let-go.
What it means
A 4-verse complaint-prayer. Every cry I made went vain; only fatigue remained, Paṇḍharirāya. What contentment was given at what time? — who played with my child-tantrums (i.e., who indulged me)? I had no real practice — not even an anxiety-in-dream — from where would direct-vision come? Now I feel ashamed before the world, Pāṇḍuranga — I have become known as a bhakta in the world. There is no confidence now — you seem like you'll let go. The line bhakta-aisē-jagā-mājī-jālē (I've-become-known-as-a-bhakta-in-the-world) creates the leverage: Tukā's reputation as a bhakta is at stake.
For someone today
Tukārām: every-cry-went-vain — no-practice-no-vision-but-known-as-bhakta — now-shame-and-no-confidence.
Where this applies
- Tukārām's complaint-prayer-known-as-bhakta-in-world-no-pratyakṣa canonical
- who-played-with-my-laḷē child-tantrum image