Abhanga 3936
Tukaram names honestly the gap between the surrender he claims and the fear he still carries, and accepts the consequence without excuse.
The verse
तुज दिला देह । आजूनि वागवितों भय ॥१॥
ऐसा विश्वासघातकी । घडली कळतां हे चुकी ॥ध्रु.॥
बोलतों जें तोंडें । नाहीं अनुभविलें लंडें ॥२॥
दंड लाहें केला । तुका म्हणे जी विठ्ठला ॥३॥
Literal translation
Gave-deha — still-vāgavitōm-bhaya. Viśvāsa-ghātakī-chukī. Speaking-tōnḍē — not-anubhavila-laṇḍē. Tukā: took-daṇḍa-Viṭṭhalā.
What it means
A 3-verse self-charge text. I gave you the body — yet I still carry fear. Such a trust-breaker — this mistake happened in spite of my knowing. I speak with my mouth — but haven't actually experienced (what I say), I'm a coward. I have accepted the punishment, O Viṭhṭhal. The honest self-charge: I'm a trust-breaker because I gave-and-still-fear; I'm a coward because I speak-but-don't-experience.
For someone today
Tukaram turns a hard, honest light on himself here. He says he gave his body over to God, and yet he still carries fear inside him, which he calls a kind of betrayal — he knew better, and the mistake happened anyway. He admits that he speaks fine words with his mouth about surrender and trust, but hasn't actually lived what he preaches, calling himself a coward for it. Rather than excuse himself, he simply accepts whatever consequence follows. This is a lesson in the courage of self-honesty: naming the gap between what you claim and what you actually live, without flinching.
मराठी: तुकाराम इथे स्वतःकडे कठोर, प्रामाणिक नजरेने पाहतात. ते म्हणतात की त्यांनी आपले शरीर देवाला अर्पण केले, तरीही मनात अजून भीती आहे, आणि त्याला ते एक प्रकारचा विश्वासघात म्हणतात — कळत असूनही ही चूक झाली. ते कबूल करतात की तोंडाने ते समर्पण आणि विश्वासाबद्दल छान बोलतात, पण जे सांगतात ते प्रत्यक्षात जगलेले नाहीत, आणि म्हणून स्वतःला भ्याड म्हणवतात. स्वतःचे समर्थन न करता, जो काही परिणाम येईल तो ते स्वीकारतात. यातून स्वप्रामाणिकपणाच्या धैर्याचा धडा मिळतो: आपण जे बोलतो आणि जे प्रत्यक्षात जगतो यातील अंतर न घाबरता मान्य करणे.
Where this applies
- When you notice a gap between what you preach and how you actually behave
- When fear persists even after you've claimed to hand a worry over to God or fate
- When you're tempted to excuse your own inconsistency instead of naming it plainly
- When honest self-criticism feels more valuable than defending your image