Abhanga 4186
Whoever you speak with regularly, their qualities rub off on you, so choose your conversations as carefully as you choose your company.
The verse
फटएाचे बडबडे चवी ना संवाद । आपुला चि वाद आपणासी ॥१॥
कोणें या शब्दाचे मरावें घाणी । अंतरें शाहाणी राहिजे हो ॥ध्रु.॥
गाढवाचा भुंक आइकतां कानीं । काय कोडवाणी ऐसियेचें ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे ज्यासी करावें वचन । त्याचे येती गुण अंगास ते ॥३॥
Literal translation
Blockhead-bhaḍbhaḍ — no-chavi-no-samvāda. Who-die-in-śabda-ghāṇa — wise-stay-inside. Donkey-bhunka-ear — no-kōḍa-vāṇī. Tukā: whomever-spoken-to — his-guṇas-come-to-anga.
What it means
A 4-verse anti-foolish-talk text. The blockhead's mindless chatter — no flavor, no dialogue — only his own quarrel with himself. Who must die in this word-press? — the wise stay inside. Hearing a donkey's bray in the ear — what sweet-rarity is there in such? Tukā says: whomever one speaks to, his qualities come to one's body. The closing principle: the company-of-conversation transfers qualities — so the wise stay-inside and avoid the foolish-blockhead.
For someone today
Tukārām describes the empty chatter of a foolish person as having no real flavor, no real dialogue, just a quarrel with themselves dressed up as conversation. He asks why anyone would let themselves get worn down in that grinding mill of pointless words, and says the wise instead stay quiet and inward. He compares it to hearing a donkey bray, nothing sweet or worthwhile is going to come out of that. Then he states the real principle: whoever you speak with regularly, their qualities begin to rub off on you and become part of who you are. The lesson is simple and practical, choose your conversations carefully, because the people you talk to shape the person you become.
मराठी: तुकाराम मूर्ख माणसाच्या बडबडीचे वर्णन करतात, त्यात कसलीच चव नाही, खरा संवाद नाही, फक्त स्वतःशीच भांडण संभाषणाच्या रूपात चालू आहे. ते विचारतात की या शब्दांच्या घाण्यात कोण स्वतःला झिजवत बसेल, शहाणा माणूस त्याऐवजी शांत आणि अंतर्मुख राहतो. ते याची तुलना गाढवाच्या ओरडण्याशी करतात, त्यातून काहीही गोड किंवा उपयोगाचे बाहेर येणार नाही. मग ते खरा सिद्धांत मांडतात, तुम्ही ज्याच्याशी सतत बोलता, त्याचे गुण हळूहळू तुमच्यात उतरतात आणि तुमचा भाग बनतात. यातून हा साधा आणि व्यवहारी धडा मिळतो की आपले संभाषण जपून निवडावे, कारण आपण ज्यांच्याशी बोलतो तेच आपल्याला घडवतात.
Where this applies
- When you keep getting pulled into pointless arguments or gossip that leave you drained
- When you notice you are starting to sound like the negative or foolish people you spend time talking to
- When you have to decide whether to engage with someone whose words carry no real value
- When you want to choose your close conversations more carefully because you know they shape your character