संत साहित्य
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संत साहित्य · Tukārām · Abhanga 4223 of 4582

Abhanga 4223

A man so ruled by attachment that he abandons his own family and judgment to please his wife has simply become her donkey, running wherever her mind leads.

When you promise anything just to calm someone down, without thinking it through.
When you let a relationship pull you away from your own parents or values.
When you realize you are reacting to someone's mood instead of acting from your own sense.

The verse

कामाचा अंकित कांतेतें प्रार्थित । तूं कां हो दुश्चित्त निरंतर ॥१॥ माझीं मायबापें बंधु हो बहिण । तुज करी सीण त्यागीन मी ॥ध्रु.॥ त्यांचें जरि तोंड पाहेन मागुता । तरि मज हत्या घडो तुझी ॥२॥ सकाळ उठोन वेगळा निघेन । वाहातों तुझी आण निश्चयेंसी ॥३॥ वेगळें निघतां घडीन दोरे चुडा । तूं तंव माझा जोडा जन्माचा कीं ॥४॥ ताईंत सांकळी गळांचि दुलडी । बाजुबंदजोडी हातसर ॥५॥ वेणीचे जे नग सर्व ही करीन । नको धरूं सीण मनीं कांहीं ॥६॥ नेसावया साडी सेलारी चुनडी । अंगींची कांचोळी जाळिया फुलें ॥७॥ तुका म्हणे केला रांडेनें गाढव । मनासवें धांव घेतलीसे ॥८॥

Literal translation

Kāma-ankita-prays-wife — why-discontent-always. Mother-father-brother-sister-give-you-sīṇa — I'll-abandon. If-look-at-their-face — hatyā-fall-on-me. Morning-leave — swear-by-you. If-leave — I'll-make-bangles — you-my-life-pair. Tāīmta-sānkaḷī-dulaḍī-bāju-banda-hāta-sara. Vēṇī-ornaments-all — don't-fret. Sāḍī-sēlārī-chunaḍī angāñchī-kānchōḷī jāḷiyā-phulē. Tukā: rāṇḍa-made-donkey-of-him — runs-with-her-mind.

What it means

Continuation 8-verse husband's-promise-litany of 17-verse cluster (4222-4223). The kāma-ankita (man-bound-by-desire) prays to his wife: why are you continuously discontent? My mother-father, brother-sister who give you sīṇa — I'll abandon them. If I look at their face again, let your killing fall on me. In the morning I'll leave separately — I swear by you. Going apart, I'll make for you string-bangles; you are my life-pair. The ornaments-list: tāīmta, sānkaḷī, throat-dulaḍī, bāju-banda-jōḍī, hāta-sara, vēṇī-ornaments — sāḍī, sēlārī-chunaḍī, kānchōḷī, jāḷiyā-flowers. Closing verdict: Tukā says — the witch has made a donkey of him; he runs along with her mind. The 17-verse 2-abhang couplet is one of Tukārām's sharpest anti-domestic-strife satires. The satire targets the kāma-ankita-husband who-abandons-his-own-parents-and-siblings under wifely-pressure.

For someone today

This verse is the punch line of the household satire begun in 4222. The husband, desperate to please his wife, promises her everything: he will abandon his own parents and siblings, swears never to see their faces again, and showers her with a long list of bangles and ornaments and fine clothes. Tukaram's verdict is blunt: she has made a donkey of him, and he simply runs along wherever her mind leads. The lesson is about the folly of a person so ruled by attachment that they will sacrifice their own family and judgment just to keep another person happy.

मराठी: हा अभंग ४२२२ मध्ये सुरू झालेल्या घरगुती उपरोधाचा शेवट आहे. पत्नीला खूश करण्यासाठी पती सर्वस्व देण्याचे वचन देतो - तो स्वतःच्या आईवडिलांना आणि भावंडांना सोडून देईन म्हणतो, त्यांचे तोंडही पुन्हा न पाहण्याची शपथ घेतो, आणि तिला बांगड्या, दागिने आणि उंची कपड्यांची मोठी यादी देऊन खूश करतो. तुकारामांचा निकाल स्पष्ट आहे - तिने त्याला गाढव बनवले आहे, तो फक्त तिच्या मनाबरोबर धावतो आहे. आसक्तीच्या अधीन होऊन दुसऱ्याला खूश ठेवण्यासाठी स्वतःचे कुटुंब आणि विवेक गमावण्याच्या मूर्खपणाबद्दल हा धडा आहे.

Where this applies

Related verses