Abhanga 4359
Feeling as lost and grief-stricken as a stray fawn, ask that all your faults be absorbed and that you never be abandoned in your most defenseless moment.
The verse
कुरंगीपाडस चुकलेसे वनीं । फुटे दुःखेंकरोनि हृदय त्याचें ॥१॥
तैसा परदेशी जालों तुजविण । नको हो निर्वाण पाहूं माझें ॥ध्रु.॥
अपराध्याच्या कोटि घालीं सर्व पोटीं । नको या शेवटीं उपेक्षूं गा ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे असों द्यावी माझी चिंता । कृपाळु अनंता पांडुरंगा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Fawn-lost-in-vana — hrdaya-bursts-duḥkha. Paradēśī-without-you — don't-watch-my-nirvāṇa. Place-kōṭi-apparādha-in-pōṭa — don't-upekṣā-at-end. Tukā: keep-my-chinta — krpāḷu-Ananta-Pāṇḍurangā.
What it means
A 3-verse fawn-lost-petition text. Like a fawn lost in the forest — its heart bursts with grief. So have I become a foreigner without you — do not watch my defenseless-end. The crores of my offences — place them all in your belly; do not neglect (me) at the end. Tukā says: let my anxiety remain (with you) — gracious Ananta Pāṇḍurangā. The image kuranga-pāḍasa-chukalēsē-vanīm (the fawn-cub lost in the forest) is striking — a small-fawn separated-from-mother in a wide-wild-forest, heart-bursting with grief. Paradēśī-jālōm-without-you (I-have-become-a-foreigner-without-you) extends the lost-fawn-imagery to the bhakta-without-Lord. Pair with 4267 (only-you-cut-loka-lāja).
For someone today
Tukaram compares himself to a fawn that has strayed from its mother and gotten lost deep in the forest, its heart breaking with grief. He says that without Pandurang, he feels exactly like that, a stranger, out of place, defenseless, and he begs not to be left helpless at the end. He asks that all his countless faults be simply absorbed and forgiven, not held against him when it matters most. In the end he says all he can do is hand over his worry to a Lord he trusts is compassionate and without limit.
मराठी: तुकाराम स्वतःची तुलना आईपासून चुकलेल्या आणि जंगलात हरवलेल्या हरणाच्या पाडसाशी करतात, ज्याचं हृदय दुःखाने तुटत आहे. ते म्हणतात, पांडुरंगाशिवाय आपल्याला अगदी असंच वाटतं, परका, बेघर, असहाय्य, आणि ते विनवणी करतात की शेवटच्या क्षणी असहाय्य सोडून जाऊ नये. ते मागतात की आपल्या असंख्य चुका फक्त पचवून टाकाव्यात, माफ कराव्यात, ऐन वेळी त्या विरुद्ध वापरू नयेत. शेवटी ते म्हणतात, आपण फक्त आपली काळजी अशा परमेश्वराच्या हाती सोपवू शकतो ज्यावर आपला विश्वास आहे की तो दयाळू आणि अमर्याद आहे.
Where this applies
- When you feel utterly lost and separated from everything familiar, like a child far from home
- When shame over past mistakes makes you afraid you will be abandoned when you need help most
- When you feel like a stranger in your own life and long for someone to claim you as their own
- When worry has become too heavy to carry alone and you need to hand it over to something greater