Abhanga 4394
If someone draws you into deep attachment, it is fair to expect them to honor that bond, so hold them to the responsibility that comes with having invited your dependence.
The verse
आधीं कां मज लावियेली सवे । आतां न राहावे तुजविण ॥१॥
पहिलें चि तोंडक कां गा नाहीं केलें । आतां उपेक्षिलें न सोडीं मी ॥ध्रु.॥
कृपेच्या सागरा न पाहें निर्वाण । जालों तुजवीण कासावीस ॥२॥
तुका म्हणे कोठें गुंतलेति हरी । येई झडकरी पांडुरंगा ॥३॥
Literal translation
Why-first-got-me-addicted — now-can't-live-without. Should-have-shut-mouth-first — won't-let-neglect. Krpā-sāgara-don't-watch-nirvāṇa — kāsā-vīsa-without. Tukā: where-stuck-Hari — come-quickly-Pāṇḍurangā.
What it means
A 3-verse addiction-bhrida petition. Why did you get me into this addiction at the beginning — now I can't stay without you? Why didn't you, at first, just shut my mouth? — now I won't let you neglect me. Compassion-ocean, don't watch my defenseless-end — without you I've become agitated-struggling. Tukā says: where have you got stuck, Hari — come quickly, Pāṇḍurangā? The clever-argument: YOU created the addiction; therefore YOU are responsible for not abandoning me now.
For someone today
Tukaram makes a clever, half-teasing argument here, asking why God got him so drawn in and attached in the first place if he was just going to be left unable to live without that connection now. He says if God did not want him this devoted, he should have silenced him from the very start, but since that never happened, he refuses to let himself be neglected now. He begs the ocean of compassion not to simply watch him struggle helplessly at his weakest point, saying he has become genuinely agitated without that presence. He closes with an urgent, almost impatient call, asking where God has gotten stuck and pleading for a quick response. The deeper point is that once you draw someone into real attachment and dependence, you carry a responsibility toward them, and it is fair to hold a bond to that.
मराठी: तुकाराम इथे एक चतुर, थोडासा खोडकर युक्तिवाद करतात — देवाने सुरुवातीलाच त्यांना इतके ओढून घेतले, आता त्याच्याशिवाय राहताच येत नाही, तर मग असे का केले असा प्रश्न ते विचारतात. जर देवाला ही ओढ नको होती तर सुरुवातीलाच त्यांना गप्प का केले नाही, पण तसे झालेच नाही, त्यामुळे आता उपेक्षा सहन करणार नाही असे ते ठामपणे सांगतात. करुणेच्या सागराने आपल्याला हतबल अवस्थेत नुसतेच पाहत बसू नये अशी ते विनवणी करतात, कारण त्याच्याशिवाय ते खरोखर अस्वस्थ, तळमळणारे झाले आहेत. शेवटी ते जवळजवळ अधीरतेने विचारतात की हरी कुठे अडकला आहे आणि लवकर यावे अशी विनवणी करतात. यातील खोल अर्थ असा की एकदा तुम्ही एखाद्याला खऱ्या ओढीत आणि अवलंबित्वात गुंतवले की त्याच्याप्रती जबाबदारी तुमचीही असते, आणि तो बंध टिकवण्याचा हक्क त्या व्यक्तीलाही असतो.
Where this applies
- When you feel someone drew you into deep attachment and now must own the responsibility that comes with it
- When you argue, half-playfully, that a relationship's demands are fair because the other person invited them
- When you feel agitated and unable to function without a bond you have come to depend on
- When you plead urgently for someone to respond quickly instead of leaving you waiting in distress