Abhanga 4471
Chasing real closeness from something in the world that can never truly meet you leaves you endlessly waiting, and only turning toward God resolves that ache.
The verse
हीनवर बीजवर दोघी त्या गडणी । अखंड कहाणी संसाराची ॥१॥
माझे पति बहु लहान चि आहे । खेळावया जाय पोरांसवें ॥ध्रु.॥
माझें दुःख जरी ऐकशील सईं । म्हातारा तो बाईं खोकतसे ॥२॥
खेळे सांजवरी बाहेरी तो राहे । वाट मी पाहें सेजेवरी ॥३॥
पूर्व पुण्य माझें नाहीं वा नीट । बहु होती कष्ट सांगो कांही ॥४॥
जवळ मी जातें अंगा अंग लावूं । नेदी जवळ येऊं कांटाळतो ॥५॥
पूर्व सुकृताचा हा चि बाईं ठेवा । तुका म्हणे देवा काय बोल ॥६॥
Literal translation
Hīna-vara-bīja-vara-two-companions — samsāra-akhanḍa-kahānī. My-pati-very-young — goes-to-play-with-children. My-duḥkha-listen-saī — old-man-coughs-bāī. Plays-till-evening-stays-out — I-wait-on-bed. Pūrva-puṇya-not-aligned — many-kaṣṭa-what-to-say. Near-I-go-body-touch — doesn't-let-tires. Pūrva-sukrta-deposit — Tukā: Deva-what-to-say.
What it means
A rare 7-verse female-voiced mismatched-bride narrative-allegory. Two female companions — one with a too-young (child) husband, one with a too-old (re-married) husband — theirs is the endless tale of samsāra. 'My husband is very young still — goes to play with other children. If you listen to my sorrow, friend — the old-man coughs, sister. He plays till evening, stays outside — while I look on the bed for him. My past-merit is not aligned — I have many hardships, what shall I tell? When I go near, try to touch body-to-body — he doesn't let me near, tires of me'. So this only is the deposit of past-virtue, friend — Tukā says: O Deva — what is there to say? The allegory: the two female-voices are the soul-mismatched-with-the-world (samsāra is portrayed as a-husband-who-is-either-too-young-(immature, fickle, plays-with-children) or-too-old-(coughing, exhausted, doesn't-respond)). Either-way, the soul gets-no-real-meeting. This is the pūrva-sukrta-deposit — the consequence-of-past-merit-mis-alignment. The closing-quasi-protest Tukā-Deva-what-to-say points back-to-the-Lord-as-only-real-partner. Pair with 4454 (dark-narrative anti-bad-wife), 2966-2967 (anti-bad-wife cluster).
For someone today
Tukārām tells this as a conversation between two women comparing their unhappy marriages, and it works as an allegory for the soul's frustration in ordinary life. One woman's husband is too young and immature, he'd rather run off and play with other children than be present with her. The other's husband is old and worn out, he coughs, stays away until evening, and when she tries to come close he pushes her away, tired of her. Neither woman gets the real closeness she's longing for, no matter how she reaches out. Tukārām reads this as a picture of what happens when your inner life is out of alignment, you keep waiting on the bed for someone who never truly meets you, and he ends by turning to God directly, almost helplessly asking, what is there left to say about this?
मराठी: तुकाराम ही दोन स्त्रियांमधील एक संवाद म्हणून मांडतात, ज्या आपापल्या दुःखी वैवाहिक जीवनाची तुलना करतात, आणि ती संसारातील आत्म्याच्या तळमळीचे रूपक बनते. एका बाईचा नवरा फार लहान आणि अपरिपक्व आहे, तो तिच्याजवळ राहण्याऐवजी इतर मुलांबरोबर खेळायला जातो. दुसरीचा नवरा म्हातारा आणि थकलेला आहे, तो खोकतो, संध्याकाळपर्यंत बाहेरच राहतो, आणि ती जवळ येण्याचा प्रयत्न करते तेव्हा तो कंटाळून तिला जवळ येऊ देत नाही. दोघींनाही जी खरी जवळीक हवी आहे ती कशीही प्रयत्न केला तरी मिळत नाही. तुकाराम याकडे अंतरंग जीवन विस्कळीत झाल्याचे चित्र म्हणून पाहतात, जिथे तू पलंगावर अशा कोणाची वाट पाहत राहतोस जो खरोखर कधीच भेटत नाही, आणि शेवटी ते थेट परमेश्वराकडे वळून जवळजवळ हतबल होऊन विचारतात, याबद्दल आणखी काय बोलावे?
Where this applies
- When you keep waiting for real closeness from someone or something that never fully shows up for you
- When your inner life feels out of alignment, always reaching for a connection that stays just out of reach
- When you compare your unhappiness with someone else's and realize the pattern is bigger than just your own situation
- When you feel helpless and simply turn to God because there's nothing more to say about your frustration