Abhanga 4563
Any trace of separateness left in the mind, even the thought I have become one with God, keeps God at a distance and makes devotion incomplete.
The verse
जालों स्वयें कृष्ण आठव हा चित्ती । भेद भयवृत्ति उरली आहे ॥१॥
उरली आहे रूप नांव दिसे भिन्न । मी आणि हा कृष्ण आठवतो ॥२॥
तोंवरि हा देव नाहीं तयापासीं । आला दिसे त्यासि तो चि देव ॥३॥
देवरूप त्याची दिसे वरी काया । अंतरीं तो भयाभीत भेदें ॥४॥
भेदें तुका म्हणे अंतरे गोविंद । साचें विण छंद वांयां जाय ॥५॥
Literal translation
Thought-of-I-have-become-Krṣṇa-remained — bhēda-bhaya-vrtti-remained. Rūpa-nāma-distinct — I-and-this-Krṣṇa-thinking. Till-then-Deva-not-with-him — appears-as-Deva. Outer-Deva-rūpa-inner-bhaya-bhēda. Tukā: by-bhēda-Govinda-distant — without-sācha-chhanda-vain.
What it means
A 5-verse yamak-bandha — fine-grained diagnostic. Even-when-Kamsa felt "I-have-become-Krṣṇa", the very thought maintained bhēda. The remaining-'I'-and-'this-Krṣṇa' distinct-feeling kept-fear-and-difference-alive. Outer-Deva-rūpa but-inner-bhaya-and-bhēda. The doctrinal-claim: by-bhēda Govinda-becomes-distant — any-chhanda-without-sācha (truth) goes-in-vain. This is a subtle-point: even-non-dual-thought is-itself-still-thought-and-keeps-difference. Pair with 4562 (preceding), 4565 (Kamsa-finally-becomes-non-dual).
For someone today
Even the thought I have become Krishna still keeps a kind of separation alive, because there's still a me thinking about this Krishna as something apart from itself. As long as you're aware of a name and a form as distinct from yourself, fear and division are still quietly present, even if the outside looks devoted or transformed. Tukaram's point is subtle but important: any devotion that isn't fully true, that still holds a trace of separateness in the mind, keeps God at a distance and ultimately goes to waste.
मराठी: मी कृष्ण झालो हा विचारसुद्धा एक प्रकारचा भेद टिकवून ठेवतो, कारण अजूनही मी हा कृष्णाला स्वतःपासून वेगळे असे काहीतरी मानून त्याचा विचार करत असतो. जोपर्यंत तुम्हाला नाव आणि रूप स्वतःपासून वेगळे भासते, तोपर्यंत भीती आणि भेद शांतपणे तिथेच असतात, जरी वरून सगळे भक्तिमय किंवा बदललेले दिसत असले तरी. तुकारामांचा मुद्दा सूक्ष्म पण महत्त्वाचा आहे: जी भक्ती पूर्णपणे खरी नाही, जिच्यात मनात अजूनही थोडासा भेद शिल्लक आहे, ती देवाला दूरच ठेवते आणि शेवटी वाया जाते.
Where this applies
- When you notice you're still thinking about being one with something instead of simply being present in it
- When your outward devotion looks complete but inwardly you still feel separate or afraid
- When you catch yourself performing spiritual language without the underlying truth behind it
- When you realize genuine surrender means dropping even the subtle sense of I am doing this